Friends Who Tandem Together....

Friends who tandem together.... stay together... 

Mother Hen and Mama Christa happily tandem nursing their toddlers and babies at a playdate. Boobie break time! Thankfully we had a third person to finally snap a photo of our boob fest. Usually one starts nursing and then they all pile on! Chain reaction style.

Toddlers, Breastmilk, and Why I Won't Tandem

So all three of the TGL toddlers are receiving breastmilk. Mother Hen is tandem nursing, Mama Christa is giving Olivia pumped milk and HOPING she'll go back to the tap when Ella gets home, and I am giving Aiden pumped milk daily. But why do our toddlers get breastmilk? Why are Mama Christa and I going to the trouble to give our big kids breastmilk when they don't take it from the tap? Well, breastmilk is awesome...why else?! 2 year olds still benefit from the perfect human milk proteins, the over 200 amazing substances that have been identified in human milk, the purity, and most of all THE ANTIBODIES! It is, afterall, cold and flu season...now all three of our households have been ransacked by stomach flus and head colds over the last two weeks or so.

As a mommy I feel the need to protect my child from severe illness in any way possible...did you know that if you are breastfeeding and someone in your house gets sick, within ONE HOUR your body has developed antibodies to the virus/bacteria and those antibodies are already in your milk? This protects your nursling(s) from getting the illness. It doesn't mean your child will never get sick, but it does mean your child will get sick less often and the illnesses will be less severe. In humans, one of the top ways that viruses and bacteria get into our bodies is through the digestive tract. This is why exclusive breastfeeding protects infants from serious illness, it coats their virgin gut with the good stuff, antibodies, good bacteria, healthy mucous. What is the Virgin Gut?


"When babies are born, they have sterile gastrointestinal tracts. If babies are exclusively breastfed, they develop a natural healthy gut flora. (When I speak of the gut, I mean Baby's insides where the food goes until it hits the diaper.) This means that the major flora in breastfed babies has reduced numbers of bad types of bacteria and increased numbers of good bacteria. Formula-fed babies have increased numbers of bad bacteria, leaving them at more risk for illness"


Additionally, it's interesting to know that the introduction of formula, even just one little 2oz bottle not only interferes with the establishment of a good, solid milk supply (we'll talk about this delicate balance later on) it can change the pH levels of the baby's gut, and it takes 6 weeks for those levels to return to normal! This pH and Virgin Gut theory are the primary reasons behind why formula fed babies are at a higher risk for illness, especially severe illnesses. This is why breastmilk saves lives.

But that's BABIES right? Well, sure it is, but doesn't it stand to reason that an older child would benefit from the antibodies and the more than 200 substances found in that liquid gold? Not to mention, it's even being used to treat and CURE cancer in adults...won't our toddlers benefit from whatever it is that is killing cancer cells? This isn't in cow's milk, or goat's milk, or soy, rice, almond milks. It's in HUMAN milk...substances in HUMAN milk protect human infants and children from illness. Amazing.

Olivia receives almost exclusively pumped milk every day. For one thing, Mama Christa has an abundance of milk to give Olivia...for another, she's a petite child, was premature herself, and needs to stay healthy and strong when Ella comes home. Additionally, have you ever thought about how EXPENSIVE milk is these days?! I know our DHA fortified, organic milk costs more than a gallon of gas...so why not save some cash and give the kids some breast milk?

Aiden gets breast milk daily as well, but it is about half  and half compared to cow's milk, but he's getting it. Today he's ONLY getting breast milk because he had a nasty stomach flu yesterday and I'm trying to give him the easiest to digest stuff and take good care of his tummy.

Are you into organic? What's more organic that unprocessed BREAST milk ladies?! Nothing. That's what.

NOW, on to why I prefer that Aiden NOT get his breast milk from the tap. I fully support Mother Hen and Mama Christa in their tandem nursing, not just because they are my friends and I support them no matter what (yes, I would support them even if they were bottle feeding or formula feeding) but because I think that it's good for young children to continue to receive breast milk for the reasons listed above. Personally, however, I get overstimulated and "touched out" as it is by dealing with both boys...especially when Chase is nursing. I do great if Chase is nursing and that's all that's going on, but more often than not, Aiden is also climbing all over me and it would blow your mind the level of anxiety all this clamoring and touching causes me. If I had two children breastfeeding, I'm pretty sure I would LOSE MY MIND. Is this weird? To some, probably, but I'm an abuse survivor...I get touched out, and overcooked in  A LOT of different situations. Part of me, the emotional, I know tandem nursing is a good thing part, would really like Aiden to take up a liking for nursing so I could nurse them both...BUT...1: Aiden is a BIG kid, 30lbs and 3 feet tall, he doesn't need to be on me ok? and 2: that's too much touch for me...my breast would constantly be in SOMEONE's mouth and I"m not cool with that.


Many people wonder why you would nurse a toddler, and why you would tandem. I think the reasons are plain as day when you look at all the wonderful things in and about breastmilk, it really is easier to get it from the tap, so just do it that way. Many people say "I think it's great you tandem nurse/nurse an older child but I would never do it" but what's their reason...usually it's because it actually skeeves them out. Seriously, let's be honest, if you aren't an extended/tandem nurser...deep down, is it because it skeeves you out?! that's usually what's behind that statement, and often people only say the "I think it's great" part because they don't want to make the mom feel bad. Guess what, I'm on to this...it skeeves you out, and you know what...THAT'S OK TOO!! The fact is, around infant feeding/toddler feeding, we need to be supportive of other moms, even when they are not supportive or are skeeved out by what we do. The fact is, you don't know most people's motivations, even if you think you do! Part of the reason Aiden and I ended our nursing relationship early was because I didn't know how to/couldn't handle feeling exposed, used, and WAY overtouched when he started getting screwy at the breast...I couldn't handle it with a toddler for sure. :)

I've been hiding while nursing...

...I've been hiding... from my toddler! Since switching to nursing Chicken Little on demand he seems to think that he needs to nurse as often as the baby does (which is all the time...). For a while I was telling him that it was Chicklett's turn and that he could have a turn later, but now he's started to push her off of me and say that she is "all done." Couple this new attitude along with the fact that our normally sleeping 12-hours straight at night toddler has started waking more often than the baby and you've got one tired mama! So... I started trying to cover up and hide while nursing Chicklett. Break out the Udder Cover! Ha!

I'm not sure why I don't want him to nurse all the time - but something instinctual is telling me to limit him, and you should listen to your instinct. Other tandem mothers I know limit their nursing toddlers by only letting them nurse for a minute or two, but CL seems to be even more upset then because Chicklett will nurse for longer. We seem to be better off with him getting none at all until I'm in a position to let him have a full session.

On a side note - we believe his new sleeping issues is because of a sinus infection. We've never had one before, but upon complaining to girlfriends about his smelly breath a light has gone off in ye ol' brain.

Testing Out The Bottle...

It's been trial and error this week with trying to get 7-8 week old Chicklett to take a bottle so that I can have an evening off here and there, and because I'll be having surgery in a few weeks and we want to make sure she'll be fed during the process. We're nice like that. Ha!

I'm a firm believer in drinking straight from the tap, and if I'm going to be gone a few hours I will pump a fresh bottle rather than using frozen. The frozen stash is for extended periods or emergency only.

So far I've gone to the grocery store three times leaving her home and she has yet to take a bottle! Ugh! The first time she actually slept the whole time so Rooster wasn't even able to try it out. But the next two times I've come home to a screaming hungry baby. We've tried two different nipples so far, both Gerber and they fit our glass bottles - what do you recommend for breastfed babies? We've used the one in the picture and then just a standard one that came with the bottles.

One thing I have enjoyed about bottle training Chicklett versus the first time around with Chicken Little is that there is no milk waste! CL is happy to take the pumped milk in a sippy cup! I remember being heartbroken at dumping pumped milk where CL had maybe drank an ounce out of the 4 in a bottle. Pumping is very hard for me, takes about 2-3 pumpings to get a 4 ounce bottle. Knowing that CL is here to clean up the leftovers makes this time much easier.

Now, I know that Meghan and Mama Christa have both given their toddlers pumped milk - does that mean we're all technically tandem nursing? I'm just the only one that does it straight from the tap. During this cold and flu season have you ever thought of giving your toddler/child a booster shot of antibodies and immunities by giving them some pumped milk? Think about it! :)

Enjoy this little video of my son exploring a world of boob in a sippy cup.

We're also working on the pacifier training too. With CL we used a paci from about 4 months old to 11 months old - but only in the car and occasionally overnight. Chicklett has been an absolute nightmare in the car, so she's gonna need that car paci. Pulling over, taking her out of the car seat, nursing her, and getting her back in the car seat in freezing weather is not going to happen. Not to mention, during warmer fall weather this proved ineffective anyway because 2 minutes back into driving she would be screaming again. Rather than leave her to scream I would much rather let her have the comfort of something to suck on. CL often used it to suck on for just a few minutes and then he'd fall asleep. Much healthier experience if you ask me! So far we've tried 4 different paci's with Chicklett. All of them gagging her. I remember it taking some time for CL to figure out how to use them, so for now I will keep retrying the different types we have and hope that she figures it out soon.

Tandemville No More?

Well folks, it has been a rough three weeks with tandem nursing. It was one of those things that I didn't notice at first, and then it got really bad... really fast. I thought Chicken Little and I were done for sure. I talk a lot about barf in this blog... so pass on this one if you're easily grossed out!

As a baby he would occasionally have this brief moment while trying to latch where it was almost like a vacuum effect. If it was too soon after a previous nursing session he would end up spiting up. Very sad, but eventually it just went away. He was gaining weight and still nursing plenty, so I didn't worry about it. When he started solids at 6 months old he did seem to gag/choke on food more than "normal", but again we didn't worry because he was healthy. To this day he still chokes/coughs when drinking from a cup. I think he just has a sensitive gag reflex.

A month into tandem nursing after my daughter was born I assumed that things were golden. Both kids seemed happy, no engorgement for mama, and milk for everyone! In general my son was nursing 2-3 times per day; in the morning when he woke up, before naptime, and occasionally one other time during the day. For the morning and before nap I was consistently going just on schedule alone, it was something we have always done. He was only getting that third time in if he requested it.

In comes a surprise problem. About 3 weeks ago we were about to nurse before naptime and BAM... that same vacuum air dry heave action showed up and caught us both off guard. He ended up losing about half of his Culver's Butterburger that he had eaten for lunch... which was extra gross for me (the vegetarian mom). Eeew! I chalked it up to being a fluke, but really it was just the beginning of a downward spiral.

His dry heaving and gagging started showing up almost daily. Rarely would he actually spit up, and I think I was too busy trying to get back to my infant who was generally upset in another room while I was trying to give CL a little attention before naptime. Most of the time when he would spit up he would be able to keep it in his mouth. This dry heave would happen before he even latched on, and it got to the point where as soon as I sat down in our nursing spot and lifted my shirt he would gag. After gagging he would be upset and run away from me, but when I covered up to end the nursing session he would become even more upset and rush at me asking for boobies. If I gave him another chance, I would end up getting vomited on. Not knowing what to do, and wanting to rush back to my crying daughter, a few times my son got sleep with nothing more than a kiss. I could hear him crying for "boobies", but I was afraid and tired of cleaning up vomit so I denied him. My being distracted and not recognizing this as a problem let it escalate.

The night of Thanksgiving our son woke up around 4am with a soaked diaper. This hardly ever happens, but needless to say he was very upset. After his wardrobe and diaper change I nursed him to calm him down. And of course... he gagged. He was able to keep it down, and we put him to bed. About an hour later I wake up to find my husband changing our sons clothing again. Wondering what happened, I find out that he threw up all over his bed. I guess he wasn't able to keep it down after all.

Then the problem went a step further. My son asked for boobies (yes, he uses that word) and I took him into a back bedroom where we could get comfortable. As I was setting up the pillow for my back he started to dry heave. This was ridiculous! I hadn't even exposed myself yet and he was doing it. Worried that he would vomit on my bed I took his hand and brought him into his bedroom. He was very upset and probably thought that I was denying him nursing. He ended up vomiting up about 6 times all over the carpet. It was at this point that my husband walked in wondering why our normally quiet son was flipping out. He witnessed a few more vomits and decided that removing our son from the sight of me was the best thing to do. They went in a bathroom and eventually CL calmed down.

After that incident I started to lose spousal support. Rooster felt that our son was ready to be done and that my milk/boobs were grossing him out. I definitely thought about it. The easiest thing would have been to wean him, but the easiest thing is not always the right thing. I finally did what I should have done weeks ago... I asked my breastfeeding community for help. I contacted my Le Leche League leader and I posted a cry for help on every breastfeeding forum I belong to on BabyCenter and Facebook. The support and ideas came flooding in. Thanks so much everyone!!

Right now we are six days vomit free (knock on wood.) The summary of what I believed happened to us is that our nursing relationship was no longer relaxed because I was always trying to rush him so that I could get back to my daughter. I also changed from our schedule to just nursing on demand whenever he asked for it. Also, I started to nurse him while standing up... I am referring to it as "hamster style". He stands in his crib while I stand next to it. The constant eye contact, and just having a relaxed attitude has really seemed to help. Coincidently my daughter has actually started to nap during this time, so that makes it even easier. With these changes our nursing relationship has been saved.

So... lessen learned... ask for help from your community sooner rather than later! For now all is well in tandemville once again.

Liar, Liar, Bra on Fire

So... I lied this week about nursing my two year old son. Typically I am a big advocate of normalizing everything about breastfeeding... but because it was my husbands co-workers I froze and didn't boast about my achievement.

We were at his work to show off new baby sister. He has co-workers who have a daughter a month older than Chicken Little and they are pregnant with their second - due to be born just a few weeks after Chicklett. Funny how that lined up... must be something in the water at work. In any event, she asked me how long I nursed Chicken Little for and I replied, "A long time." Not exactly a lie... but I didn't really answer her question either. She went on to say how she had hoped to nurse their first child to two years, but that the child self weaned around 14 months. Feeling silly about 'lying', especially now that I knew she was someone who understood the importance of the 2-years of breastmilk, I backtracked a little and explained that my milk went away around 5 months pregnant so he hasn't had any since then. A little closer to the truth... but still not going all the way. Sure he wasn't getting milk anymore... but he still nursed for comfort atleast once a day and eventually he started getting colostrum (cat nip for toddlers). And the final truth that ultimately I continued to nurse him after delivering my daughter and that he is now getting breastmilk 3-4 times a day.

Sometimes in our society of "12-months of nursing is long enough" it is difficult to stand out and be proud of being an "extended" nurser... not only that... but a tandem nurser to boot! I think had this not been my husbands co-workers I wouldn't have hid the truth. Or maybe if it was just me and the one mother talking privately rather than being at a table with 7-8 co-workers.

I get lots of comments, "That's cool what you're doing, but I couldn't see myself doing it," regarding the tandem nursing. I have lots of online acquaintances of tandem nursers, but only know one or two in real life. I wonder if there is a support group? Ha! I've felt a little alone in the venture (I know you WANT to do it Christa) not knowing people in real life.

Have you ever lied about it? What would you have done?

P.S. I had random silly thoughts about how funny it would be if my husbands co-workers are a fan of this blog and recognized me from pictures so she knew the truth before even asking me. Oops!

Wasted Away Again in Tandemville...

Three days after the birth of Chicklett I was starting to feel more fullness in my chest and knew that the milk would be coming soon. I had thoughts back to two years ago and how painful engorgement was for me, but thankfully this time around I have a secret weapon in my pocket! My toddler, Chicken Little, was going to be the star of the show for a few days by helping keep ahead of the engorgement wave.

The first night CL had already gone to bed before I realized that a flood was upon me. Chicklett was gulping and nursing more, but I knew from experience that a newborn is not generally enough to keep up. Around 4am I had serious thoughts about waking CL up JUST so he could nurse and drain me. But I just kept with Chicklett's newborn schedule and knew that soon enough my boy would be awake to help.

Rooster brought CL into the room around 8am and I informed CL that I had a present for him. We cuddled in bed and he had the surprise of his life! After 6 months of just comfort nursing and getting some colostrum (or "cat nip for toddlers" as I like to call it) he found himself access to mamas milk again! He did about 5-8 minutes on each side and I immediately felt much better. We were both happy campers all morning!

For the next week we had a bonus nursing session every morning where he would come bursting into the bedroom and nurse for a few minutes on each side. I was careful not to let him nurse for too long as I was afraid of him actually creating a demand of milk at that time and thus making a vicious cycle where I would have over supply in the morning. We soared through engorgement with flying colors and I couldn't be more happy!

I did nurse both children together a handful of times. It was difficult to do, but very sweet experience. Big brother would reach out and hold hands with little sister while they nursed. Melted my heart! And of course the camera was never around to capture the moment, but there will be more opportunities I hope!

During my pregnancy there were several times when CL went on a nursing strike and am I now very glad that I fought to keep our nursing relationship alive. Not only did I get to the goal of the World Health Organization of nursing for a minimum of 2-years, but now my children have a special bond and sharing opportunity. CL is only nursing about 1-3 times a day, and I will let him decide when he is done with mamas milk.

I am surrounded by supportive friends and family members whom I think understand the importance of this extended breastfeeding. It may not be the "norm" for our country, but there are a lot of things I do that aren't considered normal for the United States but is totally normal everywhere else in the world. :)