Hiding

This last week has been a whirlwind of family while we attended a family reunion. Those who are on my facebook know that I'm tandem nursing but I wasn't sure how comfortable I would be nursing Olivia in front of all of those people. I had NO problems nursing Ella but Olivia is almost 3 and society says that breastfeeding a 3 year old is weird. I do NOT agree that breastfeeding a 3 year old is weird. I think it's beautiful and I'm SO proud that Olivia relatched and is nursing again. It drove me crazy that I felt uncomfortable nursing her like I usually do in front of all these people. I talked about it with my husband and my friends and I turned her down multiple times. Finally, right before bedtime, she was asking and so I did it. I nursed her in front of my mother in law. She just kept talking to me and didn't look twice. I don't know what she was thinking, but I so appreciated the fact that I didn't feel judged by her.
While we were at the family reunion, Olivia was too busy to want to breastfeed so it didn't become an issue. After we left, my brother in law came back with us so he can spend some time with all of us before going back to California. This morning, Olivia wanted a boobie (as she always does) and so I nursed her. My brother in law came upstairs. He ate breakfast and didn't look at me weirdly, didn't say anything...nothing. Again, I don't know what he was thinking but the fact that he didn't say anything or give me weird looks really meant the world to me.

I wish I could say I am now fully comfortable nursing Olivia in public. I wish I could say that I cured of my insecurities about nursing a toddler...I'm not though. It is definitely something I'm struggling with but I am working towards being more comfortable with it. Because our nursing relationship has been reestablished after a year of not nursing, Olivia is essentially nursing on demand and she likes to breastfeed at least 3-4 times a day, as much as 6 (usually not though). Generally speaking, I don't deny her when she wants to breastfeed, however I find myself denying her in public or when we're around family other then our immediate family or my mom.

I don't want to be this way though. I don't have a problem with people who keep their toddlers on a schedule, I TOTALLY understand it. The only reason I'm not is simply because we recently reestablished and she went a year without. As time goes on, I think I'll limit her a bit but for now I'm letting her nurse on demand and trying to work through my own issues that society has put upon me.

I've been hiding while nursing...

...I've been hiding... from my toddler! Since switching to nursing Chicken Little on demand he seems to think that he needs to nurse as often as the baby does (which is all the time...). For a while I was telling him that it was Chicklett's turn and that he could have a turn later, but now he's started to push her off of me and say that she is "all done." Couple this new attitude along with the fact that our normally sleeping 12-hours straight at night toddler has started waking more often than the baby and you've got one tired mama! So... I started trying to cover up and hide while nursing Chicklett. Break out the Udder Cover! Ha!

I'm not sure why I don't want him to nurse all the time - but something instinctual is telling me to limit him, and you should listen to your instinct. Other tandem mothers I know limit their nursing toddlers by only letting them nurse for a minute or two, but CL seems to be even more upset then because Chicklett will nurse for longer. We seem to be better off with him getting none at all until I'm in a position to let him have a full session.

On a side note - we believe his new sleeping issues is because of a sinus infection. We've never had one before, but upon complaining to girlfriends about his smelly breath a light has gone off in ye ol' brain.