Bonding in the NICU

In Dr. Sears The Attachment Parenting Book, he talks about Birth Bonding. There are 8 "steps" he gives and I know that personally, I would have loved to more than anything to be able to do these immediately after birth with my babies but it wasn't possible. They were rushed to the NICU immediately after I briefly got to lay eyes on them. However, that doesn't mean you can't still have the experience of bonding with your baby and attaching to each other. I'm going to go through each "step" or tip that Dr. Sears gives and talk about how you could still do these while having a baby in the NICU. His suggestions are meant for the first hour after birth and while this generally isn't possible with preemies, these tips can still be incredibly helpful as you struggle to get to know your baby and bond with him/her while you're in the crazy world of the NICU. Some of these tips that Dr. Sears offers are nearly impossible to do with a preemie that is rushed to the NICU, but I will offer possible alternatives or suggestions that can still help.

Dr. Sears *does* talk about premature babies and I highly recommend checking out his book The Premature Baby Book.

1. Hold your baby skin-to-skin immediately after birth.
Dr. Sears says: "The needs of your newborn after birth are...:peace, quiet, warmth and the arms of someone who cares. This is not just good psychology, this is good medicine. Draping baby over the mother allows natural heat transfer from other to infant that is at least as effective as putting baby in an artificial warmer. Skin to skin contact also soothes the newborn."

In the NICU, this is known as Kangaroo Care (from here on out, I'll refer to this as K-care). The benefits of K-care are plentiful.

For baby, they include:

Stabilization of the baby's heart rate 

Improved (more regular) breathing pattern/ less episodes of apnea (75% decrease!)
Improved oxygen saturation levels (an indicator of how well oxygen is being delivered to all the infants organs and tissues)
Gain in sleep time
More rapid weight gain
Decreased crying
More successful breastfeeding episodes
Earlier hospital discharge

For mom:
Improved bonding, feelings of closeness with their babies
Increased breast milk supply
Increased confidence in ability to care for their babies
Increased confidence that their babies are well cared for
Increased sense of control

All of these benefits have been proven time and time again by research. In fact, in countries without as many medical resources, this is often the only option for many premature babies to be kept warm. While preemie parents are often unable to have baby placed upon them immediately after birth, you can usually start K-care very soon after your baby is born. There are some instances when baby is too ill to be taken out of their incubator. These instances are much less than some NICU's would have us know but if this is truly the case, you can lay your hand firmly, but gently on your baby's body so that they can experience your touch at the very least. If mom isn't available right away, dad can and should do skin on skin with baby as soon as possible!
For more resources on K-care, see the end of this article. (Note: If you're having a difficult time getting your NICU to allow K-care, these resources are research based and supported. Bring them to the NICU and fight for your and your baby's rights!)

2. Notice baby's state of quiet alertness.
Dr. Sears says: "Within minutes after birth, the newborn enters a state of quiet alertness, the state in which, researchers have discovered, a baby is most able to interact with her environment. it's almost as if she is so enthralled by what she sees, hears, and feels that she doesn't want to waste any energy squirming. During this alert stage, the baby looks directly at the mother's eyes and snuggles at the mother's breasts....The quiet, alert phase lasts only an hour or so, and then the baby contentedly drifts into a deep sleep. You'll see this state again in the days to come, but for shorter periods of time."

At first, preemies spend only very brief periods of time with their eyes open, and do not focus on anything. Assuming your preemie does not have any eyesight issues like ROP, your preemie will only have a few periods a day, for possibly only a few seconds, when they are in a quiet alert state (The Essential Guide for Parents of Premature Infants). When your preemie is in this quiet alert stage, bring her about 8 inches away from your face, and interact with her. Smile, talk softly, change your expression often and allow her to enjoy this time with you. Do not let anything that isn't vitally important inturrupt these moments. If a procedure or medication needs to be done but it can be held off for a few minutes, do so and use your preemie's quiet alert time to interact with her. If for some reason you are unable to hold your preemie, get close to the incubator and put your face level with hers. Open the door to the incubator, place your hand on her and talk softly.

*NOTE: Even if your baby has eyesight issues, you should obviously still do these kinds of things with your baby! :)

3. Touch your baby.
Dr. Sears says: "Gently stroke your baby, touching her whole body. Besides feeling good, stroking has medical benefits. The skin is the largest organ of the human body, and it is very rich in nerve endings. At a crucial transition time in a baby's entry into the world, when breathing patterns are often very irregular, stroking stimulates the newly born baby to breath more rhythmically."

This is one of the things that almost ALL preemie parents can do with their preemies. There may be times when your preemie is too delicate or too sick to hold, but you can almost always touch them. Depending on their gestational age and health, there are different types of touch that should be utilized.
Still Touch is exactly what it sounds like. You lay a hand gently, but firmly on your preemie and do not move it around. Some preemies are very sensitive to being stroked and with the very earliest preemies, stroking their skin can cause damage. It is important to pay attention to your preemie and notice their reactions as you're touching them. It's also important to talk to your nurse about the condition of their skin and what is and isn't safe. If you feel your NICU nurse is not receptive to your needs and wants as a parent, ask to speak to the charge nurse.
Containment provides your preemie with a secure and nurturing human-boundary. Use your hands to provide containment by holding baby's arms and legs in a flexed position. This method of providing stability and predictability enables parents to gain confidence, especially during the early days in the NICU. Containment is useful for preemies who are medically unstable, fretful, or recovering from surgery. It can also be used during procedures where your prem needs support and comfort.
Movement: If you have an older preemie or as your preemie gets older and can tolerate movement, try a firm stroking on the bottoms of their feet or palm of their hands. If they are tolerating that well, you can try other movements. You can also try patting their butts. Keep a very close eye on them to see how they tolerate the movement. If they don't like it, stop and try again later.

4. Gaze at your baby.
Dr. Sears says: "Your newborn can see best at a distance of about ten inches, which, incidentally, is the approximate distance from a mother's nipple to her eyes. During the first hour after birth, a baby's eyes are wide open, as if wanting to relate to his new world."

Once they start getting quiet alert times, gaze at them often. Direct eye contact with them so they can see you and learn your face. Even if they're asleep, which preemies sleep far more than regular newborns, it is comforting for mother and father/partner to gaze at their newborn. As soon as you can get up to the NICU after your baby is born, spend time just looking at them. It can be difficult to see past all of the monitors and wires hooked up to your baby so look at their face. Absorb their tiny eyes and nose, see their ears, their sweet baby cheeks. Breathe deeply and just gaze at your baby.

5. Talk to your newborn.
Dr. Sears says: "Studies have shown that newborns can distinguish their mother's voice from that of everytong else very early in life. Baby can also recognize Dad's voice, as well as siblings'. Mother's voice comforts her baby and helps baby feel at home in the world."

Your baby has heard your voice from the time their ears were developed in utereo. They know your voice, as well as their fathers voice. Talk to your preemie all the time. Read to them. Sing them songs. Tell them about your day. Tell them what their big sister or brother is doing. Tell them how much you love them and how proud you are of them for being so strong and brave. They will be comforted by your voice.

6. Delay routine procedures.
Dr. Sears says: "Often times the attending nurse takes care of routines first, such as measuring the baby, cleaning him up, giving him vitamin K and putting ointment on his eyes...Ask the nurse ahead of time to delay these procedures for an hour or so, until you and your new baby have enjoyed the initial bonding period."

Procedures that are done on preemies right after they are born can almost never be delayed. Many times they are life saving things such as providing oxygen etc. However, you can ask that the blanket or towel they use to clean your baby off be given to you. The smells from the womb will help stimulate the mother's milk production. Also, speak to the nurses and doctors ahead of time and impress upon them how vital it is for you as a new mother to be able to at least briefly touch and look at your baby after they are born. Depending on how well they are breathing on their own, you may be able to spend time gazing into their face. Of course, this may not be an option but let your medical team know how important it is to you if it IS possible.

7. Breastfeed your baby in the first hour after delivery.
Dr. Sears says: "The baby's sucking and licking of the nipple releases the hormone Oxytocin into the mother's bloodstream. Oxytocin causes the uterus to contract and lessens postpartum bleeding. It also produces feelings of affection. Your baby's first sucking experience should take place at the breast. Newborns need to breastfeed early and often in order to learn correct sucking based on the sucking instincts they are born with."

Most preemies cannot be brought to breast right away. If they can, great! But in almost all instances, this simply isn't possible. What you can do however is start pumping as soon as possible. If you know ahead of time that you're going to deliver, have a pump brought in your room. If not, have a nurse bring you a hospital grade breast pump right away. You should start pumping as soon as you can, preferably within 3 hours after your baby's birth. Even if you get nothing at first, keep pumping to stimulate your breasts. It is imperative that you pump often, at least 8-10 times in a 24 hour period. If you're not responding well to the breast pump, try hand expression. Many moms respond to hand expression far better than they do to a breast pump. In fact, there is very new research that demonstrated that mothers who followed each electric pumping session with hands-on compressions of the breast extracted more milk and boosted their long-term milk production.

Human milk is far easier on a premature baby's digestive system. It contains lipase, a hormone that helps with fat digestion, which allows babies to be able to use more of the calories available in the milk. In fact, studies have shown that the milk of mothers who deliver a premature infant is higher in protein, fat, and other nutrients for catch-up growth. (Dr. Sears)

By 32-34 weeks gestation, most preemies can start attempting to breastfeed. That doesn't mean they'll catch on and start breastfeeding immediately (although some may!!), it just means that their suck/swallow/breathe reflex is usually mature enough to start trying to breastfeed. They may just nuzzle or fall asleep but keep trying! And I STRONGLY recommend not giving preemies any bottle feedings until breastfeeding is established. If the NICU insists on mouth feedings, you can try alternate feeding methods.

8. Ask for privacy.
Dr. Sears says: "This first hour after birth should be a quiet one in which Mother and Father/Partner focus on their new baby. Ask that you be left alone as much as possible during this time, so that your attention is not diverted from your baby by the hustle and bustle of nurses and other hospital personnel."

Again, this is something that you probably will not be able to have with your preemie. Most preemies have to go to the NICU right away, even if it's just for observation. However, once you can get to your preemie, unless your baby is having procedures done, there is no reason why you cannot have privacy. Even if you're in a NICU where there are multiple beds in one room, there are usually curtains or room separators that are offered for your baby and you can ask for privacy. Spend time with your preemie and try to focus on them as opposed to the machines and wires. It can be difficult to celebrate the birth of a baby if they are premature and sick but remember, you just had your baby and try to enjoy and celebrate the birth of your baby.

Kangaroo Care Resources and Articles
Midwifery Today: Kangaroo Care
Kangaroo Care Benefits
U of Michigan: Kangaroo Care

Pumping Resources
Pumping for your Preemie
More Nutritious Breastmilk for Preemies
Breastmilk for Preemies

Other Preemie Resources
Bonding with your Preemie
"The Premature Baby Book" by Dr. Sears
Ella's Halo

Works Cited:
http://preemiehelp.com/for-preemie-parents-and-carers/parenting-in-the-nicu/bonding-with-preemie-in-the-nicu/positive-touch-and-your-preemie
http://scopeblog.stanford.edu/2012/01/more-nutritious-breast-milk-for-preemies/
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/157955.php
http://www.exclusivelypumping.com/2007/11/30/pumping-for-your-preemie/
"PREEMIES: The Essential Guide for Parents with Premature Babies" By Dana Wechsler Linden, Mia Wechsler Doron, Emma Trenti Paroli

A year ago today, our life began

On December 17, 2011, 11 days before Christmas, 1 day after her due date and after 74 days in the NICU, Eleanor Dayle, my miracle baby came home. That video was filmed by my husband as we walked in the door and Ella and her big sister Olivia got to be together for the first time outside of a hospital. ALL of us were together for the first time outside of a hospital.

The last year has been a whirlwind. It's been the most amazing and stressful year of my life. I've dealt with Ella going back into the hospital with a life threatening illness for 10 days, severe postpartum depression that was beyond debilitating, moving, death in the family...but through it all, this tiny baby, this 2 pound baby girl who was so forcefully brought into the world before her time has grown. She's grown and changed and is now this amazing 1 year old who is over 19 pounds! She crawls, she pulls herself up and cruises on furniture, she says "mama", "dada", "done" and "no". She signs "milk", "more" and "done" and has a strong, independent, intense personality. She's an awful sleeper, she gets into the dogs water multiple times a day, she crawls up the stairs and never stops eating (solids AND mama's milk).

I honestly cannot put into words what today means for me. I cannot put into words how the experience of having a baby so small, so sick, so frail yet so strong and brave has changed me. It has imprinted my soul. It has shaped my entire life. My life was complete when my children were together under one roof, in our home.

I feel so blessed. I have amazing friends, a wonderful husband and family and two incredible, fabulous, strong, independent little girls. I truly love running this blog as well as Breastmilk for Preemies and being a doula. This post has been kind of a tangent I realize...I just kind of let the words flow.

Thank you all for being a part of my life and reading this blog. I love being a part of The Good Letdown. I love what we created...we all do. This community means so very much to us. Thank you all. <3

New plan for Ella's sleep!

Last night was probably one of the worst nights we've had in a while. I was at my wits end and it didn't help that Olivia (almost 3) woke up as well and had a royal tantrum. So this morning, I was texting Megz while also researching some stuff on my phone and came up with a new plan.

New plan for Ella: Megz and I were talking and came up with a theory that maybe this isn't about sleep. Maybe it's leftover trauma from her NICU stay. Megz suggested that maybe falling asleep feels similiar to being paralyzed. Maybe...it could be! So, new plan. No pack and play. She does NOT like to sleep away from me so I'm going to make an essential oil blend/buy a blend that promotes relaxation, sleep and reduces anxiety (still doing research on the exact combination that's best but they all go hand in hand). Each night, before bed, I'm going to go in our bedroom, set up relaxing music and give her a massage using these oils and an organic lotion or maybe coconut or sweet almond oil. I'm also going to get an oil burner so that our room smells like this. Then, I'll nurse her and we'll lay in bed and relax and be calm.

I'm also going to get a lovey or make one, and start holding it whenever we're doing something calm. Nursing, cuddling, sleeping. We'll sleep with it together so that it smells like us together and let breastmilk get on it so it smells like my milk as well. We'll associate the lovey with all good things. Being relaxed, loved, snuggled and fed.  I'm going to make sure our room is a nice temperature and dress in appropriate pajamas,...maybe even just a diaper cover over her diaper (otherwise she takes the darn thing off!!!).

I'm getting a laptop next week with my financial aid so I'll start doing my homework in our room so that as soon as she starts stirring, I'm right there and can pat her to sleep. That seems to be somewhat effective, which makes me wonder if waking up alone is scary for her, which would make sense...her first 74 days of life were spent in a crib alone, as opposed to nestled in her mamas tummy like she was supposed to.

Guest Blog: Jessica's Story

My name is Jessica and I have the most beautiful daughter. The last 8 months have been a roller coaster and I wanted to share it with you and your readers:

When I woke up on November 16, the last thing I thought I would do was have a baby. I was 32 weeks pregnant, and my water broke. All I could do at the hospital was cry. I wasn't ready, the baby wasn't ready, my boobs weren't ready. Well, Elizabeth was ready!

She was born a mere 5 hours later. I got to see her for a few short seconds before she was rushed off to the NICU. She needed oxygen at first, then intubation and a vent along with two doses of surfactant to help her lungs inflate/deflate properly.

I started pumping that evening, and continued for about a week or so until I could start trying to nurse.

She didn't take her first feeding until Saturday, November 20th. I remember the exact date because that was a HUGE day for us. That was the first time we got to hold her. We couldn't even touch her before then. A few days later, we were given the go ahead to try to nurse.

At first, Lizzie would open wide, take the while nipple into her mouth, I would get my hopes up....and then she would quickly fall asleep. So, the nurses started letting her latch while gavaging her feeding. That way she would start to realize that mamma's nipple meant full tummy. At that point she was battling jaundice. She was under lights for a total of 10 days. During those 10 days, I could only take her out to attempt to nurse once a day, and she could only be out of the isolette for 45 minutes, maximum. This meant that usually, we would spend most of the 45 minutes struggling her sleepiness to get her to nurse, and my poor husband would only get to snuggle her for 10 minutes or so after I finally gave up and let them gavage a few milliliters.

Slowly, but surely, Lizzie started to get the hang of it. As she grew stronger and more stable, she got moved around to different spots in the NICU. I found out later that a couple of the nurses advocated for us to have the best spots in the corner because she was a good nurser and deserved the good spot - with more privacy.

We spent 29 days in that NICU, and by the end of it, Elizabeth was breastfeeding full feeds at least three times a day, and taking the others from a bottle. Thanks to my diligent pumping right from the beginning, she has only ever had breast milk.

We came home on December 15th, and the transition to full time breastfeeding was hard - on both of us. She had to work harder more often, and I had to spend virtually 24 hours a day with a 5lb baby attached to my breast.

Just when we were getting into a groove and both my husband and I were getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, BAM! I needed my gallbladder out - the day before Christmas Eve.

I was told that I needed to pump and dump for at least 24 hours after my surgery, and 24 hours after my last pain pill. I had a nice freezer stash, but not that nice. I only took the prescribed pain pills for one day so I could go back to nursing as soon as possible. I was more determined than ever to not give my daughter any formula. Hey, we made it through a whole month of being separated, I wasn't about to let one little bitty surgery get in my way now! Thankfully, an amazing friend offered to donate some of her frozen milk to bridge any shortage I may have had.

Once I recovered from surgery, we were back to smooth sailing. The amount of time she needed to complete a whole feeding had gone down to about 20 minutes or so, I was actually getting a little sleep, things were great!

Then I went back to work part time.

I was (and am) able to pump once (sometimes twice) during my work day, which is about 7 hours long, including drive time. I did everything to keep my supply up and keep enough milk in the fridge for her. I even pumped while driving. Slowly my supply started to dwindle and my pumping output went way down. *Enter amazing, beautiful, milk donating friend* She not only donated MORE milk to help us out, but gave me tips and encouragement to help get my supply back up. I have to admit, during that time, the sample cans of formula were looking kinda nice.

After trying fenugreek, oatmeal, sports drinks, and tons of water, my supply finally came back.

Now, Elizabeth is eight (8!!!) months old and nursing like a champ. We actually just had a day when she was ALL about the boob and wanted nothing to do with my husband or anyone else. He jokingly said, "Remember when it was a struggle to get her to eat? Geez, where'd that kid go?" Hmph.

She is starting to become more and more mobile, and more and more busy, so lately nursing has been the only break time we get. I love sitting down to feed my amazing daughter and looking into her eyes. We have such a special bond.

I am so very proud of her for being so strong so early. She has shown me a strength I have in myself that I never knew was there. I couldn't have done any of this without the help of my cheerleaders, including my amazing, supportive husband.

It was all so worth it.

The challenges of preemie breastfeeding

You know how when you have a baby and you bring them right to breast and it's all wonderful and sweet?

Well I don't! 

However, I did think that once my preemie started breastfeeding that BAM! we'd be good to go. I didn't know that she might breastfeed once...then not do it again the next time, or for days at a time. No one TOLD me this. So when this happened to me, I felt SO frustrated! I tried to hold onto the fact that she COULD do it and I knew that. But each time that Ella wouldn't latch on or would fall asleep at the breast or even worse, would decide that the ugly green curtain behind us was far more interesting then mamas breasts, my heart broke just a little bit. Each time she didn't breastfeed, the nurses would reassure me that it was perfectly normal for preemies to do that. I should not actually say that no one told me that preemie's aren't consistent with breastfeeding. When we got to the NICU, we were given an inch thick packet of information. Yup, I sure did read that. Uh huh. What with all the dying preemie worry I had as well as the 2 year old with major separation anxiety. You betcha. 

So, once Ella started breastfeeding I was soooo excited...as many of you may remember from my original post Breastfeeding Success back in October. She breastfed three days in a row so I thought we were set. Dreams of disappearing NG tubes danced in my head. But then I was rejected. This inconsistency happened for a LONG time. WEEKS. It was very disheartening. I didn't stop trying, I didn't stop pumping and I didn't stop hoping for the day when Ella would breastfeed more then once in a single given day. 

I found some information that I thought was really great for preemie breastfeeding. I URGE you to share this information with anyone you know who has or is facing having a premature infant. 

Fact Sheet from University Hospitals of Cleveland

LLL articles and info about preemie breastfeeding

How to keep your preemie awake-from iVillage

I also urge you to check out Dr. Sears book "The Premature Baby Book". I am currently reading this book and I swear, it could be called "The Premature Baby Book for Mama Christa and Ella". 

PS. Ella DID start consistently breastfeeding eventually...but that's a blog post for another day. 

I'm the youngest of the group and I claim the hardest nursing experience medal! :)

Kangaroo care with Olivia after trying to nurse. 2 days old

My name is Christa and I'm the youngest of the bunch (by 5 months ha-ha). I have no fun nicknames so Christa will do just fine. I have a 23 month old named Olivia and my husbands name is Shane. Olivia will be 2 in October.

Prior to my daughter being born, I figured I'd breastfeed for about 6 months. I don't know how I came up with this number, or why on earth I thought it sounded like a good plan but that was what I thought. Once she was born, that completely changed. I should start by introduction by giving you a brief history of how Olivia came about. It wasn't as simple as a roll in the hay and a positive pregnancy test. We tried for a year, and had to go through infertility treatment to conceive her because I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). I finally got pregnant in March of 2008 and was due in December 2008. I had a pretty high risk pregnancy, with low progesterone, gestational diabetes, PSD (pelvic symphisis dysfunction) and then at the end, severe pre-eclampsia. I was diagnosed and hospitalized with pre-eclampsia on October 20, 2008. Exactly one week later, at 33 weeks and 5 days, my blood pressure had risen and sustained to 260/180 and they induced me. I had always intended on having a totally natural delivery but after about 25 hours of labor, I asked for an epidural. After about 48 hours of labor, I ended up with a c-section. Olivia was born on October 29 and weighed 4 lbs 9 ounces. I saw her for about 10 seconds before she was rushed to the NICU and then didn't get to see or hold her again until she was about 7 hours old.

I realize that is a lot of background information but it's important to lead me up to my breastfeeding journey! When I finally got to see and hold Olivia, she wasn't able to feed because of a medication I had been on while in the hospital called magnesium sulfate. She had to wait 24 hours before any food could be given to her. Before she could even eat, the nurses had brought me a breastpump and had me hooked up to it, pumping colostrum, which was stored in small syringes for her when she finally could eat. By the time Olivia was cleared to eat, I was eager to breastfeed her. I was in the NICU holding her and brought her to my breast with a lactation consultant present and we got her on my breast...and she fell asleep. She was barely able to latch on. I was absolutely crushed. Aren't babies supposed to latch on and eat right away?? We tried constantly. I would get up every 3 hours and try to make it to the NICU to get her to latch on but even if we could get her to latch, which was never a proper latch, Olivia would fall asleep right away. She was just too weak to latch on. After a few days, they asked if we wanted to do bottles. I said ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I wasn't going to give her bottles! I was going to breastfeed. But it came down to this--if she couldn't eat, she couldn't go home. So several hours later, and many many tears, I decided to give in to the bottles. I still tried breastfeeding her every time I was in the NICU but it just didn't work. So I continued pumping and she would get my milk from a bottle. We brought Olivia home when she was 7 days old.

For about 6 weeks, I continued trying to bring her to my breast, in hopes she would latch on. We had a few half hearted nursing sessions with a nipple shield but my milk was so fast flowing that it would get overfilled with milk and always falls off. Everytime she would refuse my breast, I would hand her over to Shane or my mom and they would bottle feed her while I sobbed with my breastpump attached to me. Eventually I stopped offering her my breast and just decided to continue pumping. We did have to supplement because the pump just didn't provide the supply and demand nor the latch that a baby did and try as I might, I couldn't get my breasts to give me what my tiny baby needed. I didn't have any education on what I was doing and I was totally flying by the seat of my pants. There is a lot I know now that I didn't know then, but hindsight is 20/20 I suppose!

By the time Olivia was about 5 months old, I'd suffered pretty bad depression about failing to get her to latch, several nipple infections and my supply was so completely low that she was getting about 1 bottle of breastmilk a day. I contacted La Leche League (LLL) and the lactation consultants (LCs) and asked if babies were able to latch on after having spent so much time at the bottle. They said it was worth a try but it probably wouldn't work. I knew that if I didn't get her to start breastfeeding, it would only be a very short time before she had to be completely on formula. On April 16, 2008, when she was 5.5 months old, I came home from work and sat on the couch cross legged. I took down my shirt and brought my almost 6 month old up to my breast.

Like she'd been doing it the entire time, Olivia latched on like a little pro!!!!!!!!!!! She breastfed for exactly 7 minutes before detaching herself and SCREAMING her head off. I had my mom prepared with a bottle, so we finished her feeding with a bottle. A few hours later, before Olivia was super hungry, we climbed into bed and I brought her to my breast again. This time she latched on again with no issues and had her entire feeding from JUST breastfeeding. I was still nervous she wouldn't continue so for quite some time we always had a bottle ready but she never had an issue after that. At almost 6 months old, my 34 weeker latched on and breastfed like a little professional piggie!! I can't even express to anyone how this felt. It was probably my number one biggest achievement of my entire life. Within weeks, my milk supply increased to the point where our freezer was full of breastmilk and I even looked into donating milk. We loved nursing and since we co-slept, Olivia fast learned how to pop the boobie out of my sleep bra and latch on while we were both sleeping.

A breastfed baby is a happy baby.
Olivia, a few days after she latched on.

I nursed Olivia up until February of 2010, when she was 16 months old. I'd wanted to nurse her longer (so much for 6 months right?!) but we wanted to have another baby and the medications I had to take were not safe for breastfeeding babies. So in February of 2010, I weaned her (much to my sadness and her complete lack of caring it seemed ha-ha) and then lo and behold, 2 weeks later....I was pregnant with baby number two...with NO fertility drugs!

Now I'm 26w2d pregnant with our second girl and actually on strict bedrest for pregnancy induced hypertension. We're preparing for the possibility of another preemie and I have my Medela pump and style ready to go. If we have another preemie with latch issues, you bet I'll go through it all again but this time, I am more eduacted and I definitely will not stop trying to get her to latch on.