New plan for Ella's sleep!

Last night was probably one of the worst nights we've had in a while. I was at my wits end and it didn't help that Olivia (almost 3) woke up as well and had a royal tantrum. So this morning, I was texting Megz while also researching some stuff on my phone and came up with a new plan.

New plan for Ella: Megz and I were talking and came up with a theory that maybe this isn't about sleep. Maybe it's leftover trauma from her NICU stay. Megz suggested that maybe falling asleep feels similiar to being paralyzed. Maybe...it could be! So, new plan. No pack and play. She does NOT like to sleep away from me so I'm going to make an essential oil blend/buy a blend that promotes relaxation, sleep and reduces anxiety (still doing research on the exact combination that's best but they all go hand in hand). Each night, before bed, I'm going to go in our bedroom, set up relaxing music and give her a massage using these oils and an organic lotion or maybe coconut or sweet almond oil. I'm also going to get an oil burner so that our room smells like this. Then, I'll nurse her and we'll lay in bed and relax and be calm.

I'm also going to get a lovey or make one, and start holding it whenever we're doing something calm. Nursing, cuddling, sleeping. We'll sleep with it together so that it smells like us together and let breastmilk get on it so it smells like my milk as well. We'll associate the lovey with all good things. Being relaxed, loved, snuggled and fed.  I'm going to make sure our room is a nice temperature and dress in appropriate pajamas,...maybe even just a diaper cover over her diaper (otherwise she takes the darn thing off!!!).

I'm getting a laptop next week with my financial aid so I'll start doing my homework in our room so that as soon as she starts stirring, I'm right there and can pat her to sleep. That seems to be somewhat effective, which makes me wonder if waking up alone is scary for her, which would make sense...her first 74 days of life were spent in a crib alone, as opposed to nestled in her mamas tummy like she was supposed to.

Postpartum Depression - Myths

Today while doing some browsing during naptime, I was looking around at Jenny's Light and wanted to share some information with our readers about postpartum depression. Mama Christa and I have both been diagnosed with significant PPD and want to share what we are learning along the way with our readers. I thought I'd start with this list of of myths from Jenny's Light:

Postpartum MYTHS as Developed by The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

1. Postpartum depression is normal -- all new mothers feel tired and depressed.
2. If you don't get postpartum depression right after you give birth, you won't get it at all.
3. Postpartum depression will go away on its own without treatment.
4. All women with postpartum depression have thoughts about hurting their children.
5. Women with postpartum depression look depressed or stop taking care of themselves.
6. Women with postpartum depression are bad mothers.
7. If you have postpartum depression, you must have done something wrong.
8. You'll get over your postpartum depression if you just get more sleep.
9. Women with postpartum depression can't take antidepressants if they are breastfeeding.
10. Pregnant and postpartum women don't get depressed.

If someone you know is suffering from PPD, please don't say insensitive things like "well, you're the one who wanted children so bad," or "just get a grip, s/he is just a baby," both of which I've heard in recent weeks. Be careful that the things you say to moms with PPD don't make them feel like they are to blame for their depression or the symptoms of their depression. Mama Christa and I can both tell you that those moms are feeling crappy enough about the thoughts and feelings they are having, about their worth as mothers, wives, and friends. Offer to help if you can, even if all you are doing is keeping the mom company. Support her in getting help if she needs it, refer her to Jenny's Light for information and resources, and be a safe person she can share with without judgement. Mama Christa's post about Postpartum Depression is evidence that so many mothers are suffering, and they don't feel safe sharing such intimate details of their pain, anger, and depression, so be available as best you can to moms in this position. Just like every baby and every mom is different, every PPD experience is different. It's not what I thought it was from reading and education, but it sure sucks. 

For many mothers with PPD medication is a safe and effective route to treatment. Kelly Mom lists Dr. Hale's research on anti-depressants in breastfeeding mothers, and here is that information for you and for you to share with those who may benefit. Not all doctors are familiar with medications safe during pregnancy, so educate yourself about it!