More ork progress

I've gotten a lot of work done on the orks since the last post about them, two sessions worth in fact.  Yesterday I put down a layer of Dead White on the shirts, horns, and teeth of the models.  Then I tried the Vallejo Game Color Gunmetal, which I assume is equivalent to Boltgun Metal in the GW range.  It went on very dark, almost black, for the first three models before showing the metallic sheen that I expected.  I went back over the first three and they looked better, perhaps I had watered the paint down too much at first.  Then I washed everything I had painted that day with Devlan Mud.  After that I did some metal bits with an ancient pot of Brazen Brass to break up the Gunmetal.

The first day.

This morning I went back with Dead White and highlighted the appropriate areas.  I followed that with a highlight from another ancient pot of Chainmail, the a brand new pot of Shining Gold on the brass areas.  The metal highlights don't pop as much as I thought they would, especially since I gave the areas a wash beforehand.  Maybe metallic highlights just don't show that well.

I should have cropped this first.

I'm happy enough with how the white areas turned out, though there was a lot of time invested.  I took a bunch of shots of the same guy instead of a group shot for some reason.

Highlighty.

I'm away from my usual setup, hence the poor pictures.  I actually think the pictures look better than the real model, so take from that what you will.

Now with dramatic shadow.

With the white done I started in on the black.  I didn't have a real plan for how I was going to highlight it.  I started with Vallejo Game Color Stonewall Gray, which is far too light to do a straight highlight with.  Judging from the online paint chips, the Vallejo is closest to Fortress Grey in the GW line, but much lighter.  I started doing one of the straps, but didn't like the results.  Instead I decided to try a grey coat on the boots with a wash, so I got to experimenting.

Group boot shot.

The two on the right have a fairly heavy coat of thinned Stonewall Gray.  The next two have a sparser coat of the same, but after it had been on the palate for a few minutes and firmed up a bit.  The final one has a more elaborate process that I'll get to in a bit.

Left to right: Detailed - Controlled - Heavy

I did half with Devlan Mud and the other half with yet another incredibly old pot of Black Ink.  Back when I started collecting miniatures, I got the Black Ink not realizing it was ink and what that meant.  I got actual black paint soon enough, but held on to the ink even though I didn't really know what it was for at the time. 

Heavy coat of thin grey.

I did the washes after the pictures, so they'll have to wait until next time.  I was happier with the black ink after the washes were on, though I'll re-evaluate one they're dry.  I thought I would like the Devlan Mud more, so this result was surprising, though it really shouldn't be considering I want the boots black in the end.

Controlled grey, aiming to leave more shadows.

I did another pass with the Stonewall Grey to firm up the highlights, though I'm not sure how that will turn out.  I think I need to make my highlights brighter and my shading darker as the color seems to blend together too much considering the time I put into it.  If I was just basecoating and washing I'd be fine with the results, but I do add an extra step or two and am not seeing the results I want.  Perhaps an adjustment in approach is in order.

The detailed approach.

This final guy gets some extra screen time.  I wasn't happy with the straight Stonewall Grey, so I added a dot of black close by and mixed it up as I went.  The result was a very noticeable transition between dark and light, but one that I can't imagine doing for 100+ orks, and each ork having two feet at that.  I washed this one with Devlan Mud, thinking it would give me the better results, so I'm interested in how it turns out.  I'm thinking about giving it another black inking, but I'll judge when dry if it needs any more attention, though I think it will.

I'm finally closing in on finishing my first batch of orks.  I've probably been painting them, off and on, for a month or so.  At this rate I'll finish around the middle of 2013, assuming I don't paint anything else.  And if I don't count vehicles, of which there are plenty.  Hopefully things speed up as I get more reps in.

On the new models front, I made the exchange with EV on Tuesday, swapping the Terminators and Dreadnaught from my Black Reach box for his orcs and tactical squad.  I've assembled a Dethkopta, 2-3 orks, and perhaps 7 of the marines.  I made sure to put the missile launchers together, as they figure into the Blood Angels list I'm working at.  I also put together two more missile launcher marines from bits I had lying around and some I got from EV, so my second 4 ML squad is ready to go, if unpainted.  I'm not sure what I will do with the tactical squads ultimately.  They're nice models, and I do need another tac squad or two for my battle company, but they have the tactical arrows on their right shoulder pad.  While I like this detail, the Blood Angels don't use those markings, so they don't really fit into the army.  I could shave the arrows off, but that'll be plenty of work and I really like them as they are.  I could also paint them up as a different chapter (I've been looking at the Crimson Fists) or as a newly-turned Chaos squad.  For now the launchers are occupied and the rest can wait.

I may have mentioned in the last post that I've been back on a Blood Angels kick, so I've been working at them a bit.  The new models are so nice that I want to incorporate the BA specific pieces into all the models, though I am loath to recollect the army.  In the meantime I'm plugging gaps with the pieces I have now, so the new assault sergeant and missile launchers that I built look nice, and are what I'd like the rest to look like when I'm done.  I got a 20% off coupon from the FLGS, so I'm considering my purchase.  For the new list I need a Sanguinary Guard unit, so they're in.  I also need another unit of jumping assault marines.  I'm thinking about pulling the backpacks off some of the foot assault marines I have, but having used plastic glue that isn't something that will be done easily.  Instead I'm looking at getting another Death Company box and a regular assault box, then mixing the pieces to make a new jumper squad.  I'll have enough BA chainswords and bolt pistols for the regular troopers, plus the choice of at least three different fists for the sergeant, and the meltaguns that are on the way from GW.  The only sticking point is the shoulder pads.  The Death Company box has six pads with the BA chapter marking on them, which is great, but it also means I won't have enough of them to make a ten man squad.  I'm hoping the Sanguinary Guard unit has a similar surplus, but I'm not banking on it.  There are twenty sculpted pads in the DC box, so I can make plenty of detailed marines and I may just use transfers on blank pads for the other chapter symbols, but I would like to have everyone with a molded pad eventually.  I should have ordered some of the BA pads from GW while I was getting the meltaguns, but alas for hindsight.  I also need another Sanguinary Priest with a jump pack, plus some power weapons for that priest and his fellows.  While I also got enough storm shields from EV to make the nasty Honor Guard I've been dreaming about, I want those to be very ornate models and doubt I'll have enough bits to put them together in addition to the assault squad.  I'll probably end up getting yet another DC box for them and bashing all the bits together to make some themed guys.  That's on the horizon though.

In the present, the job search looms.  I want to finish these orks today, though that may be overly ambitious.  I'd also like to get and assemble the rest of the pieces for the BA list.  I haven't looked to see when I can expect the meltaguns yet, but my coupon is good through the middle of January, so I'm willing to wait a week or two before adding to my pile of unassembled minis.  It has been good making progress though.

Happy Hooter Days - Day 5

My tandeming toddler Chicken Little! :)

Happy Hooter Days - Day 4

Nursing my little Chicklett with her new leg braces. Breastfeeding a triangle baby is an art form! Follow our story; http://adventureswithtriangles.blogspot.com/

Happy Hooters Days Day 3

Don't mind the huge mess :) 

Ella and I have such a special nursing relationship because of what it's taken to get here. We're still struggling with some issues but it's moments like this one, with her sweet self and perfect latch, that I know it's all worth it. :)

Yo! Westward Ho to the Alamo: Day 1 (Indian Mounds, Rattlesnakes, and Family Dinner)

We left Atlanta this morning all covered in snow. Both Atlanta and we were covered in snow as Livy felt the need to dive into it face first right before we got into the car. But, as Lorelai Gilmore says, "It was the snow; . . . it's like catnip."

So, after a fairly long car ride, which included the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and a reading of "Rapunzel" from my new Grimm's Fairy Tales (my Christmas present!), we arrived at the Moundville Indian Mounds. These mounds were built by the same bunch of Indians (the Mississippians) that built Etowah Indian Mounds just north of Atlanta and the Cahokia Mounds near St. Louis that Livy and I visited last year.

We really enjoyed this site, partly because it had so many mounds. They weren't that large, but there were 20! And they were less regulated than the Etowah ones, so we could climb on them as much as we wanted. We wandered all through the large, open grounds, stretching out travel legs, and we ran up and down mounds. The largest had a model of the chief's house on it, and there was a river overlook and some diorama kind of views of life in the Mississippian culture.

The museum was nothing super special; it was new and flashy, but a little too text focused. For museums, I like pictures and artifacts and more bulleted kind of text. We did really enjoy learning that when the Mississippians died, they believed that they would walk along the Milky Way (called the Path of Souls), make their way past winged snakes and ginormous birds of prey, and then reach heaven. Their chiefs got to turn into these winged snakes (which looked a lot like dragons on the pottery) or into underwater panthers. How cool is that? I wanna die and go become an underwater panther.

Also, they also buried the dead sometimes in shallow graves in the floor of their houses. Gross.

Over all, I like Etowah better, mostly because of the fish trap in the river. I am really unreasonably obsessed with fish traps. I have see two, and they were both remarkably cool. Basically, the Indians made these big Vs in the river with rocks so that the fish would get washed right through a small opening into their nets. Sneaky!

The Etowah mounds are larger, but fewer. I can't really remember the Cahokia mounds very clearly because Livy and I were 7 days into our whirlwind trip and very tired. I remember the Cahokia museum being best.

Oh! One more super cool thing about the ramble around and over the mounds: Behind one mound, near a lake formed when the dirt for the mound was carried out, we found a snake! We think it was a rattlesnake, but it was dead. We didn't get close enough to be absolutely sure that it was a rattlesnake or that it was dead, but we got a picture of it that I will post tomorrow night when I have an internet connection and an SD port on the same computer.

After we left the mounds, we drove the nearly two hours to get to Meridian, my home town. We had dinner with my mom and Mimi at Mimi's apartment (leftover Christmas ham and some boiled shrimp!) and then came back to my mom's to spend the night. We leave in the morning, headed west with the sun.

I played a game? I played a game!

I got in my first game in far too long on Thursday, a re-engagement with 40k.  EV fielded a very nice Plague Marine army, while I dusted off the Blood Angels.  I went with the BAs mostly because I've had a hankering for them lately, but also because my Orks are not assembled enough to field a viable army.  I've been poking around the internets trying to get a handle on how 40k plays now.  I'm trying to avoid just copying a list off said internets as I don't think that really helps you learn.  While you might win your game, just following the instructions on the box doesn't really teach you anything, and as a result you don't grow as a player.  So I'm taking what I "learn" from these various sources and trying it out for myself.  At least that's the plan so far.

With that context set, my list was a bit of a mongrel.  Back in 3rd edition I ran mechanized Blood Angels, so I'm both familiar with the concept and wanting to try something different.  I ran mech back then because I couldn't do a jump pack list, so my only real option to do a fast, combat-oriented army was to stock up on tactical squads in rhinos.  In this brave new-to-me world of Blood Angels with assault squads as troops, the paradigm has changed and the door is open to run a different kind of list.  However, I lack the minis to run an all jump pack list, hence the mongrel list that I ended up with.  It's a mix of jumpers, mech, and fire support.  No detailed lists for this because of the nature of wargear in 40k, but also because this isn't a full-on battle report in the manner that I usually do them.  "Army lists" and more after the break.



Librarian w/ Jump Pack, Shield of Sanguinius, Blood Lance
2 x Sanguinary Priests, 1 w/ Jump Pack
10 x Assault Marines w/ Meltagun, Plasma Pistol, Power Fist
10 x Assault Marines w/2 Plasma Pistols, Power Fist
10 x Jumpless Assault Marines w/ Meltagun, Flamer, Thunder Hammer, Storm Shield, Rhino w/ Extra Armor
10 x Jumpless Assault Marines w/ Meltagun, Flamer, Power Fist, Rhino w/ Extra Armor
10 x Tactical Marines w/ Lascannon, Plasmagun, Power Weapon, Rhino w/ Extra Armor
5 x Devastator Marines w/ 4 Missile Launchers, Heavy Bolter Razorback w/ Extra Armor

The idea was to use the tac squad to hold objectives, put a SP (who stays in the box) in the razorback with the devastators (who get out at a good position), then put the librarian in one jump squad and the other SP in the other jump squad.  I wanted to hit in two waves or assault troops, but wasn't too sure who would get there first.  I had run lists something like this in 3rd edition, so I had a decent idea of how it would work.

EV ran something like this.  I don't know particulars, so it's a ballpark thing.
2 x Daemon Princes
3 x Plague Marines in Rhinos
1 Plague Marine squad on foot
3 x Vindicators

As you'll see in a moment, and can probably deduce from the Plague Marine nature, EV set up a gun line of sorts and waited for me to come to him.  His nicely painted marines put mine to shame, which may have affected the outcome.  I'll remedy that situation, hopefully in the not-so-distant future.

Things started bad for me.  I brought the tac squad to hold objectives, and we ended up with the good old fashioned "set up in opposite corners and come out swinging" mission, which meant there were no objectives to hold.  I should have taken a shot of the whole table, but the one below is a good representation.  I had a hill in my deployment zone that had decent fields of fire, so I set my devastators up there and let the SP ride around in style by himself.  I sent the tac squad north to engage one of EV's flanks and sent all the assault troops to hit the other flank.  This was probably a mistake in retrospect as I sent my troops the long way, and across open ground.  In my defense, I did try to screen the jumpers with the transports, but left gaps between the vehicles that the Vindicators could fire through.  One of many lessons for next time.

You can see my plan in action here.  Turn 2ish.

 Things unraveled quickly for me.  The tac squad rhino got mired on terrain (that I could have easily driven around), my drive-by meltagun shots didn't do much, and my assault marines never really got a charge off and were butchered by daemon princes.  I didn't make any headway against the Plague Marines.  As noted, my transport screen was ineffective and resulted in multiple pie plates dropping on my jumpers.  The result was that my desired two waves of attackers was more like 4 trickles of "attackers," who were easily picked off by those (literally) damned princes. 

What is left of my once-proud sons of Sanguinius.

The result was a near-perfect victory for EV.  I made a tactical error, as noted above, and got caught out by a couple mechanics.  The most notable one was that I had managed to misremember the to-wound chart.  I thought it worked like the to-hit chart, where equal numbers require 4s, higher/lower require 3s or 5s respectively, and doubled numbers require 2s and 6s.  That's awfully confusing when I look at it, but it makes plenty of sense to me.  Turns out it works differently, with each step of difference cranking the roll needed.  To put this in plainer terms, my troops needed 6s to wound the daemon princes (who I believe were toughness 6) instead of the 5s I thought they would have.  I also needed 5s to wound the Plague Marines, but I had expected that.  This meant that my regular troopers struggled to wound, and when they did the wounds were generally saved.  My power fists did a lot of missing, and my libby's force sword was ineffective against the daemon princes thanks to their Eternal Warrior.

My casualties mid-game.

I also had an issue with the assault squad in the second picture, who hopped out of their rhino and shot at the Vindicator with the intention of then assaulting it as well as the Plague Marines on the hill.  They blew up the Vindicator, which was nice, but then couldn't assault it, which wasn't nice.  Since they had shot the Vindicator, they couldn't assault a different squad, so they just waited to be cut down like their brothers.  At least they didn't have to wait long.  There were also some growing pains with the new cover system, but I think I got a handle on it quickly enough.  There were certainly learning opportunities all over the place.

EV's losses, plus a rhino and vindicator (not shown).

In the end, my lack of charging doomed my troops.  My various mis-steps didn't help either, but it was good to get a game of 40k in for the first time in years.  The devastators, which I included based on internet reviews, were the stars of my side, for what that was worth.  As such, they'll probably see more table time in the future.  I'm working on a list now that drops the transports for more jumpers and devastators, but it requires some extra pieces.  I think I'll substitute in jump packs on some of the foot assaulters to make a third jump squad, which should help.  I already started digging for more missile launchers and managed another 4 of them, so I'll have another devastator squad for next time as well.  I'm trying to tune the list to fit in as many bodies as I can, while still equipping them enough to get the job done.  I'm also trying to do that without simply copy/pasting a list, and I'm doing it by hand as I don't have Army Builder anymore and I can't find a free one online like Forward Kommander.  I'll need to add another Sanguinary Priest, hopefully as part of an honor guard, and find some special weapons (meltas, fists, that sort of thing), but I think I have the basic pieces already and will just need to massage them into place.  I don't really like the spammy lists that I find everywhere I look, so I'm going to try and build in a little personality, but we'll see how that turns out.  In the meantime, it was nice to get a game in, even if it was a horrific defeat.  I guess I owe EV a couple after all those Uncharted Seas games.

Early Breastfeeding Obstacles - Visitors & Helpers

Problem: During those first few precious days of nursing a new mother often has many visitors. People who want to hold the baby, comfort their cries with rocking motions, give mom a "break" by holding him/her, etc. These things are all nice... but they can also cause a disrupt in that initial bond. That crying baby needs a boob 9 times out of 10, and if this visitor is in your home for an extended period of time they might be doing more harm than good.

Baby Chase spent his first weeks on my skin and on the breast!

Not in visitors arms or with a pacifier.

Solution: Make a postpartum plan, just like a birth plan, that outlines your wishes, limits, and expectations. Share this with everyone before the baby is born and after, please understand that the postpartum period is about YOU, BABY, and YOUR FAMILY, not visitors...they can wait. There is nothing wrong with asking visitors to bring food for the family, fold a load of laundry, and help out with household things so that you are better able to care for and bond with your baby. There is also nothing wrong with printing up a sign asking guests to wash their hands immediately upon arrival to your home and to limit visits to 30 minutes or less.





If this visitor is living in your home, you may need to have a frank discussion with them about the importance of bringing baby to the breast often. This may lead into unwanted advice about how you are 'spoiling' the baby or that they must be 'starving and you should use formula since they nurse so much', but we'll talk more about that later. One of the biggest culprits behind milk supply issues is the fact that baby is not permitted unlimited access to the breast and one reason that baby does not get this access is because mom has many visitors to entertain, share baby with, and she may not be comfortable nursing in front of them, even in her own home. So limit visitors and if baby wants to suck, don't give baby a pacifier so grandma or aunty or neighbor can hold the baby a little longer. Give that baby a breast and ask your visitor to bring you a glass of water and a snack.





Please make sure all your visitors know how committed you are to breastfeeding, ask THEM to leave the room if you or they are uncomfortable with nursing at that time. This is your time to bond with baby, you need lots of rest, water, and skin to skin time. Your guests can admire baby while baby is in your arms, and even at your breast! Baby is at his or her best in your arms in those first days anyway...that's where baby was meant to be. Accept help around the home, with older children, with meals...not with baby. Baby is your task these first weeks, developing a bond, establishing milk supply, and recovering from the birth. Newborns are boring anyway (or so they say) there will be lots of time as baby gets older for giggles, smiles, playing, and the like. For now, you need a hot meal, a jug of water, and quiet time with your baby.





Go forth, normalize, and educate,

Be sure to check out:

Early Breastfeeding Obstacles Part 1 - Visitors & Helpers

Early Breastfeeding Obstacles Part 2 - Comfort Levels

Early Breastfeeding Obstacles Part 3 - Lack of Support

Early Breastfeeding Obstacles Part 4 - Scheduled Feedings

Early Breastfeeding Obstacles Part 5 - Fear

Early Breastfeeding Obstacles Part 6 - Cluster Feeding & Growth Spurts

Happy Hooter Days - Day 2

Baby Chase and I are very much enjoying nap time for Aiden, we can snuggle and nurse without interruption. I just happened to have done my hair and put on a smudge of make up...AND I tweezed my eyebrows so I don't look like a bush woman...so you get more than just my boob for today's Happy Hooter Days nursing picture! 




I'm pretty sure this sweet face makes the world go round...I love my little chunky nursling! Here he is in the throws of a milky coma!

Adios to our Colonial Carpool

Turns out there is this nasty thing called snow that falls out of the sky to plague us. There is a bunch of it in the yard right now. Rumor has it there is more of it spread all over the east coast. Williamsburg is on the east coast. Screw you, snow! Anyway, because of the big storm, we are changing our trip. I cried a bunch because I really had my heart set on Williamsburg, but we finally hit on a plan that makes me nearly as happy.

We are setting out tomorrow for the Alamo! What other name rings with so much adventure? We are going to drive into Texas by the northern route, through Birmingham, Meridian (we're staying tomorrow night with my mom), and Shreveport. We'll go through Dallas-Ft. Worth, down to Austin, and finally to San Antonio and the Alamo. Then, we'll come home by the southern route through Houston, Baton Rouge, and Mobile.

We haven't made many plans for what to do on the way, yet, but we will hunt up good adventures every night in the hotel. We are going to stop at Moundville, AL to see the Indian Mounds tomorrow. The day after tomorrow is still hazy with indecision, just the way I like it.

You'll hear from me on this blog as we travel, and Livy will be posting her pictures. Our new trip name is "Yo, Westward Ho to the Alamo." You have to imagine it with a little bit of a downtown ATL rapper sound; then you'll really understand it. :)

Happy Hooter Days - Day 1

The Good Letdown is NOT on vacation this week, watch for daily breastfeeding pictures (send us yours too) and the first in a series about early barriers to breastfeeding! 

Carpool to the Colonies

Last year, right after Christmas, Livy and I went on Kelly and Livy's Excellent Adventure, a roadtrip through TN, KY, IN, MO, AL, and GA. I blogged all about our adventures on that trip, and I loved the Christmas tradition of getting out in the world and having them.

So, in the spirit of Christmas adventure, Livy, Aaron, and I are setting out again. This time our trip will be called Carpool to the Colonies, and we intend to drive from Atlanta to Williamsburg, Jamestown, and Yorktown and then trek down the Outer Banks through Kitty Hawk and Roanoke Island. We will no doubt stop many places on the way and on the way back to hike (for Kelly), to play at playgrounds or children's museums (for Livy), and to admire the largest wad of gum in North Carolina or biggest junk yard (for Aaron).

I plan to blog our trip, and hopefully, Livy (who will be unwrapping a camera tomorrow for Christmas) will keep us supplied with photographs to share. And I will certainly tell you what we are reading or listening to as we drive; that's a big part of our trips too.

Hope you all are having a Merry Christmas!

My Accomplishments 2010

RationalJenn gave me the idea to list these. Since my memory is so bad, let me know if I missed anything that you know I accomplished. :)

• Threw the AOS's first MiniCon! Big success and convinced me that I can do organizy kinds of things if I put my mind to it.
• Started a podcast and a parenting education business with Jenn.
  
• Completed my second semester of grad school and decided on Rhetoric/Composition as my concentration. I ended this semester with a 4.08 GPA.
• Blogged lots more than last year and finally found my stride. I've figured out the kinds of things I like to blog about and am not making myself unhappy writing things I don't enjoy.
• Improved my relationships with Aaron and with Livy. We are all happier together at the end of this year than ever before.
• Completed a Whole30.
• Started Crossfit and have begun to see positive results.
• Read 80 books aside from my school reading.
• Taught 2 successful gymnastics pedagogy classes
• started a Latin club, the Sex Vultures
• Created my teaching philosophy and two syllabi to use when I am teaching composition
  
• Grew potatoes and onions for the first time.
• Lost weight and improved my eating habits without falling back into old destructive mental habits

Yay me!

Have time, will hobby

Had the last final of the last semester of my undergrad on Monday, an event that I've been looking forward to for a while.  Not having to worry about signing up for more classes or wondering what my schedule will be like is nice, but now I'm looking at Finding A Job, which is not so nice.  In the here and now, I have some hobby time and have been putting it to use.  I had lofty goals for the day yesterday: finish my five test orks, then roll into the Blood Angel I started months ago, then hopefully roll into more orks.  Inception got in the way of that, which is a great movie if you haven't seen it, so I didn't get all of that done, but I did make some progress.



I did the black on the orks, mostly boots and various straps.  I was going to leave the guns grey initially as my primer is dark enough that I think it would work fine with a metallic, but in the end I decided to do all the guns black as well.  Photo setup is well below par, so apologies for the poor quality.

Group shot.

I also tried out the Vallejo Heavy Warmgrey.  I wanted a white foundation paint, of which Vallejo has a couple.  I targeted the Warmgrey as the one that fitted my desires best, and perhaps it does when compared with the others, but it's definitely pinker than I expected, more of an Elf Flesh kind of color.  Regardless of the color, it went on like I wanted and covered well.

Detail shot!!!

I was somewhat disappointed with my progress before I started, but on reflection the orks are getting colored.  I'm going to try some different approaches to the white shirts, have metals and leather to do, and want to highlight the black a bit, but all that aside I'm getting close to finished with this batch.  Just another 20+ batches to go.  Oh, and basing.  But at least there's progress.

On the gaming front, actual games will probably have to wait until after Christmas, but I've been tinkering with a Blood Angels list that I'm pretty happy with now.  I finally made some new minis and re-equipped others so I'm cutting fewer corners than previously.

Nursing during the holidays

The holidays can present a very special challenge for breastfeeding moms. Some mamas have no problems whatsoever nursing in front of their entire families and their families are supportive and loving about it. SOME...not all. With my first daughter, I was pretty bashful about nursing. I even ((gasp)) breastfed her in a bathroom once. I breastfed in a separate room from everyone else except my husband, mom and grandma and if I was out, I covered up and tried to hide. I was petrified someone would know what I was doing until Olivia was almost a year. Then I pretty much stopped caring.

Well, now Christmas is a few days away and among others, my brother and father in law will be here. Ella nurses...A LOT and I don't intend on missing out on all the Christmas fun just because I'm breastfeeding. So I'm going to stay out in the living room. I have thought about if I should cover or not because I AM in my own home and Ella is very particular about how she's held while she's eating. I've also been thinking about different things I can wear to help be a bit more discreet. I'm not really comfortable around my father in law and wouldn't feel completely comfortable nursing in front of him so I know I'll want some sort of discretion. I know, the hard core NIPers around the world are screaming at me. But let's face it, NIPing doesn't mean you can't cover, it just means that you're nursing in public, cover or no cover. It means you're feeding your child wherever and whenever they need it.

Anyways, I digressed. So we're right in the holiday season and honestly, we probably could have brought this topic up a bit sooner considering celebrating happens throughout the month of December and really, starts in Thanksgiving but come on guys, give us a break--we all just had babies! :) So, what can we do to during the holidays? I thought how neat it would be to have a bunch of tips and hints about breastfeeding during the holidays and then I realized, I'm not an expert and since this is my first year of consciously thinking about how to handle it, I'll just write about my current thoughts and experience. I plan on breastfeeding Ella in my living room. Will I cover up? Maybe. I will probably have a blanket near me. I'm not going to mention it to anyone or announce that I'm about to breastfeed so they can leave if they want, I'm just going to feed her as needed. If someone makes a comment about it, I will simply tell them that Ella's eating and be very nonchalant about it--as I'm sweating inside. Am I nervous about my newfound NIPing self? Sure I am, however I believe that normalizing breastfeeding is super important and I intend on starting with my family on Christmas Day.

Good luck everyone! We'd love to hear your hints for the holidays and breastfeeding, as well as your experiences with it. The good, the bad and the jolly!

Letting Go of Things I Want But Not Badly Enough

This holiday break has been all about cleaning out and chucking old and useless stuff. I have been trying to get rid of stuff I don't need, stuff I don't really like that much, and stuff that has stopped making me happy and now only fills up the empty space in my house and leaves me feeling suffocated.

Mostly I am very good at this. Aaron might say too good. I throw stuff out willy-nilly and sometimes end up wishing I hadn't. I can get rid of sentimental stuff no problem. Throw away the stuff and keep the memories is my motto. I can get rid of clothes that don't fit or didn't end up looking as good as I thought. I can get rid of CDs, old documents, and even a piano (does anyone want one?). But today, I came up against a hard stack of things to get rid of - my pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding books.

It's time for them to go; I know this. Livy has been grown, born, and weaned. But I can hardly stand to put those books into the pile that means they have outlived their usefulness. I don't want that phase of my life to be over.

The thing is, I would love to have another baby. I want to be pregnant again, give birth (differently, this time), and breastfeed again (even more differently). Livy has been such a joy (after about age 3), and I would love to see how different it would be to have two children, experience a new personality, see what the mix of DNA from Aaron and me would make.

But Aaron doesn't want children. Not at all. No possibility. And I want Aaron more than I want another child. If our relationship lasts (and I sure hope it does), I will never have another baby; that pile of books is a tall, dusty reminder of that. I have to put away that dream because I want another one more. Sometimes valuing is a hard road.

Breastfeeding at home

Let me just start this blog post by saying that Ella is FINALLY HOME!!! Woot! After 74 LONG but short (NICU moms, you get it) days in the hospital, she's home with us and we couldn't be more thrilled. 

Ella at home <3

She came home yesterday (12-17), 1 day after her due date. As soon as we got home, she was screaming to eat. She'd breastfed before we left the NICU but only briefly because she was really futzing around at the boob. I had a lot of concerns that when we got home, she would do the same things she did at the NICU, which was breastfeed off and on and need bottles. But here's what I've discovered--when you're at home, and with baby around the clock, baby will take your boobie. Well, my baby will. Please keep in mind my post is about my baby and not all encompassing of all NICU babies in the world. :) 

Anyways, we got home and she ate right away. And has continued eating. I am breastfeeding on demand and offering her my breast anytime she starts fussing. She has already learned that she can just snack if she wants or get a nice full feeding. When she was in the NICU, they had her on a strict every-3-hour feeding schedule with full feedings. Now, most of us know that most breastfed babies do not necessarily eat every 3 hours. Sometimes they do...then they'll eat every hour. Or every 4...or every 30 minutes...it just depends. Many breastfed babies are not consistent. Ella personally tends to cluster feed in the evening. 1.5-2 hours of breastfeeding off and on, off and on. Today though, she did that earlier in the day and right now is sleeping peacefully. 

We've really only had two issues so far with breastfeeding at home. Our first full 24 hours, she had foamy greenish yellow poop which I think was cause by my overactive letdown and oversupply. We'd never gone a full 24 hours of straight breastfeeding so it was a first for the both of us. Ella also only likes my left breast. She will very rarely take my right breast. I'm hoping she'll get over that but for now, I'm pumping that breast a few times a day.

Sorry I have no breastfeeding pictures to share with this blog post, but I will share them later as I get them! 

Joy and Tomatoes Cometh in the Morning

Today, the day of the winter solstice, the darkest day of the year, I sit surrounded by gardening catalogs. They started coming in the mail last week, and now gorgeous pictures of ripe tomatoes and a drawing of a tee-pee full of beans and blossoms are on my lap.

There is something so hopeful about the act of winter garden planning. Outside, my tomato plants from last season still stand in their cages all brown and withered. The grass has stopped growing, and my perennial flowers sport dead puffs of seeds. And yet, in the midst of all this winter, I am thinking of spring. I am imagining the taste of yellow pear tomatoes and debating how many hot and how many sweet peppers I will want.

It is something essentially optimistic about the gardener's certainty that winter will end, that darkness will be replaced by days of almost endless sun, and that warm soil will be ready for planting. We dream of tomatoes, believing that the world won't end; the sun will not go supernova; nuclear war won't annihilate everyone. Spring will come, just as it did last year, just as it always has. Humans will be the same lovers of tomatoes that we have been for years.

It makes me think of Easter, which is weird at Christmas time. I think of the resurrection myth and of the belief that, after dark times and grief, warmth and happiness will return. I think of Anne Shirley and the night she realized she loved Gilbert and that he may die; when she knows that he will live, she quotes Psalm 30, "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning." I think of Boethius's wheel and his certainty that bad fortune will give way to good, turning through cycles, just like the seasons.

And here I sit, acting out the human hope for resurrection and rebirth and a change for the better in our fortunes, with my seed catalogs.

My Reading Journal and Why I Keep It and A List of What I've Been Reading

I have a little brown book with leather covers embroidered with designs, rough, handmade looking paper, and a string to tie it shut. It was given to me during a romance, and the inscription reads, "For your words, when my ears aren't around to hear them." The romance ended, and it was a long time before I felt ready to use the little book. I'm not a journaler, but because of the strong memory of the intense girl who gave it to me, I wanted to stay true to the intent of the gift. She and I talked about books and about writing, and so I decided to keep it as a list of the books I had read.

I enjoy looking back over it, even the recent things, but what I hope is that one day, when I am old and gray and full of sleep, nodding by the fire, I will take out this journal and remember the things that I read and see the patterns of my life laid out in books. I imagine that I will remember Livy's childhood through children's classics that I read aloud, my education with journal articles and more technical books, and the changes in myself as I age by which things are reread and how often. I imagine that my life will be chronicled, not in things I did or people I knew or places I went, but by what I read.

October, November, and December So Far Reading

Rebecca by Daphne DuMarier

A reread for me of a book about place. The novel begins and ends with a house, and I am fascinated by how Manderlay and its ghosts and secrets drive the plot and the characters. Whenever I reread this book, I think about the South and our obsession with place, even places from the distant past, and I feel a connection to DuMarier. Egger Cemetary and Caledonia, MS shape the lives of my family, I think, but thank heavens the shaping is less sinister than in Rebecca.

A River in the Sky by Elizabeth Peters

A fun reread of my dearest archeologists, Amelia Peabody and Radcliffe Emerson. I have no idea which of the novels this is, as they are all the same. The spice lies not in the plot, but in the characters.

The Two Towers and The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkein

Tolkein wrote in a letter that he had a "basic passion . . . for myth (not allegory!) and for fairy-story, and above all for heroic legend on the brink of fairy-tale and history, of which there is far too little in the world." I share his passion. Tolkein provides me with characters that live, really live, for me; I know what they would do even if the story veered into new ground. They are men and women whom I love, whom I am proud to love, and whom I hope would include me in their counsels and their fellowships if we met.

The Lost Hero and The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan

Fun new novels about Greek heroes (the first) and Egyptian magicians (the second). Very similar to his earlier series about Percy Jackson.

American English by Wolfram and Schilling-Estes

A linguistics textbook that rocked, though my class on the subject was terrible. I was fascinated by the Northern Vowel Shift, which is why so many of you dear Yankees sound so very odd. :)

Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

An amazing new find. See my review of Hunger Games. See it immediately, then go read these dystopic young adult novels about oppression, revolution, and freedom.

Egyptian Myths by Jacqueline Morley

Livy and I did these as a read-aloud, and I loved them. Very different from Greek myths, which I am so familiar with, and very exotic. They felt like a window into a very different kind of culture with very different concerns and values. Lots of fun. Went wonderfully with The Red Pyramid.

The Paleo Soution by Robb Wolf

After my Whole30 experience, I thought I would go to Dallas and Melissa's source, Robb Wolf. The book was funny, readable, very informative, and it raised some questions for me about how high-fat our diets should be and the place that saturated fat should hold in those diets.

A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle

My first of the Sherlock Holmes novels. Just as wonderful as the stories. And there were Mormons, a fascination of mine.

Currently Reading

A walk-through of Wheelock's Latin to supplement my AOS Latin Club (recently renamed the Sex Vultures - see Livy's History of Rome and his version of the Romulus and Remus legend for the reference). This reread of Wheelock's will probably take the rest of my life to finish.

African-American English: What a Writing Teacher Should Know by Teresa Redd and Karen Webb

The Sign of the Four by Arthur Conan Doyle

The Story of the World: Ancient Times by Susan Wise Bauer (read-aloud with Livy)

James Herriot's Treasury for Children (read-aloud with Livy and Aaron)

The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder (read-aloud with Livy)

D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths (read aloud with Livy and Aaron)

The Silmarillion by J.R.R Tolkein

Writing About Your Life by William Zinsser

The Art of the Personal Essay: An Anthology from the Classical Era to the Present compiled by Phillip Lopate

Homeschooling with the Gilmore Girls

I am a huge advocate of being able to learn from ANYTHING. This was put to the test two days this week. I've been sick. So sick that I didn't want to get out of bed and do anything. What did Livy and I do? We watched Gilmore Girls ALL DAY LONG and made 6 million paper snowflakes and construction paper chains, which are now hanging all over the house.

Livy and I had lots of conversations about the Gilmore Girls while watching, and I think she learned a lot from the experience. Some examples:

• What is economics? (Rory's granddad is teaching it at Yale.)
• What is base diving? (Stupid, stupid Logan)
• What does it mean to have a collapsed lung? (Base diving, anyone?)

The biggest category of learning is about people and their behavior. We talked constantly about people's motivations: why did he do that? What did she mean by that? Why would a person say that? This is one of the great things about TV. Because we are not so emotionally involved as we are with out actual relationships, we can analyze people's interactions in a more dispassionate way. We ended up talking about how we can think a person did wrong and still understand their feelings and why they did it. We watched the results of bad decisions and talked about what might have been better. We talked a lot about morality because, as you know if you have seen Gilmore Girls, they make some terrible decisions.

And the best thing about the experience? It wasn't forced. I didn't ask her questions like the reading section of standardized tests. We just talked about what we thought, and I answered her questions. For a private child like Livy, I think it sometimes takes too full days of just being together at home for her to start asking and talking. It was wonderful, and it was homeschooling.

Vomit Volcano

Yep, me with another post about vomit. Maybe it will become my trademark. Ha! Okay, let's hope not actually.

So, let me preface this by saying we have the worlds most laid back pediatrician in the whole world. Like... annoyingly laid back. I could probably go in with one of my children having a broken arm and she would say it was totally normal and all kids go through that phase. About a year ago I actually noticed that she wasn't really even examining my son during the well check - like she never listened to his heart or looked in his ears. Kind of basic, right? That being said, we've tried to switch... but she's the only pediatrician that hasn't given me grief about breastfeeding, co-sleeping, or who hasn't tried to damage my child by retracting foreskin. In fact, as far as I know... she doesn't even know we do or don't do any of these things because she's never asked! About 6 months ago we switched back to seeing her, and just settled that it was a close convenient place to get our children weighed and measured.

Anyway, back to the barf. So, both of my children have done the same thing... so it is "normal" to us. But just incase I'm missing something I'd like to poll the web. I feel like this happens because my children are comfort nursers (meaning they want to suckle even when they're not hungry) and I have an overactive letdown (I mean... REALLY overactive... I need to wear breastpads past the babies first birthday...). So, those two things mean that my children end up eating a lot even when they're not hungry.

What happens is when baby get sat up for burping or just so I can move, she starts sounding real juicy with breathing. Then she'll fuss around a little bit, so I'll try to burp her longer. And atleast once a day it ends with a vomit volcano faucet for 5-10 seconds by her just opening her mouth and letting it go. It's fresh uncurled breastmilk, and not projectile. Just pours out like a faucet. I remember when we asked our pediatrician about it, she said it was normal and that all babies spit up. She told us to imagine pouring an ounce of liquid on the counter. It would spread out everywhere and seem like a lot of liquid, even though it was just an ounce. My son eventually outgrew it, and I imagine my daughter will do the same. Neither one ever excessively cried or seemed upset about it like a child who was suffering with reflux. And it is generally just once or twice a day, not after every feeding. So, I just let it go.

The second way that this happens is when my baby's were trying to grunt out some poop too soon after having a full meal. It was like the pressure from their pushing went both ways. Oops!

Am I missing anything important here? Or is this just what is normal for our family? I know I could be better about not letting my babies comfort nurse on me, so I guess that is an obvious test to know if my theory is correct. Let me just add... that if a picture says a thousand words... this girls thousand rolls show that she is healthy and gaining weight;

Toddlers, Breastmilk, and Why I Won't Tandem

So all three of the TGL toddlers are receiving breastmilk. Mother Hen is tandem nursing, Mama Christa is giving Olivia pumped milk and HOPING she'll go back to the tap when Ella gets home, and I am giving Aiden pumped milk daily. But why do our toddlers get breastmilk? Why are Mama Christa and I going to the trouble to give our big kids breastmilk when they don't take it from the tap? Well, breastmilk is awesome...why else?! 2 year olds still benefit from the perfect human milk proteins, the over 200 amazing substances that have been identified in human milk, the purity, and most of all THE ANTIBODIES! It is, afterall, cold and flu season...now all three of our households have been ransacked by stomach flus and head colds over the last two weeks or so.

As a mommy I feel the need to protect my child from severe illness in any way possible...did you know that if you are breastfeeding and someone in your house gets sick, within ONE HOUR your body has developed antibodies to the virus/bacteria and those antibodies are already in your milk? This protects your nursling(s) from getting the illness. It doesn't mean your child will never get sick, but it does mean your child will get sick less often and the illnesses will be less severe. In humans, one of the top ways that viruses and bacteria get into our bodies is through the digestive tract. This is why exclusive breastfeeding protects infants from serious illness, it coats their virgin gut with the good stuff, antibodies, good bacteria, healthy mucous. What is the Virgin Gut?


"When babies are born, they have sterile gastrointestinal tracts. If babies are exclusively breastfed, they develop a natural healthy gut flora. (When I speak of the gut, I mean Baby's insides where the food goes until it hits the diaper.) This means that the major flora in breastfed babies has reduced numbers of bad types of bacteria and increased numbers of good bacteria. Formula-fed babies have increased numbers of bad bacteria, leaving them at more risk for illness"


Additionally, it's interesting to know that the introduction of formula, even just one little 2oz bottle not only interferes with the establishment of a good, solid milk supply (we'll talk about this delicate balance later on) it can change the pH levels of the baby's gut, and it takes 6 weeks for those levels to return to normal! This pH and Virgin Gut theory are the primary reasons behind why formula fed babies are at a higher risk for illness, especially severe illnesses. This is why breastmilk saves lives.

But that's BABIES right? Well, sure it is, but doesn't it stand to reason that an older child would benefit from the antibodies and the more than 200 substances found in that liquid gold? Not to mention, it's even being used to treat and CURE cancer in adults...won't our toddlers benefit from whatever it is that is killing cancer cells? This isn't in cow's milk, or goat's milk, or soy, rice, almond milks. It's in HUMAN milk...substances in HUMAN milk protect human infants and children from illness. Amazing.

Olivia receives almost exclusively pumped milk every day. For one thing, Mama Christa has an abundance of milk to give Olivia...for another, she's a petite child, was premature herself, and needs to stay healthy and strong when Ella comes home. Additionally, have you ever thought about how EXPENSIVE milk is these days?! I know our DHA fortified, organic milk costs more than a gallon of gas...so why not save some cash and give the kids some breast milk?

Aiden gets breast milk daily as well, but it is about half  and half compared to cow's milk, but he's getting it. Today he's ONLY getting breast milk because he had a nasty stomach flu yesterday and I'm trying to give him the easiest to digest stuff and take good care of his tummy.

Are you into organic? What's more organic that unprocessed BREAST milk ladies?! Nothing. That's what.

NOW, on to why I prefer that Aiden NOT get his breast milk from the tap. I fully support Mother Hen and Mama Christa in their tandem nursing, not just because they are my friends and I support them no matter what (yes, I would support them even if they were bottle feeding or formula feeding) but because I think that it's good for young children to continue to receive breast milk for the reasons listed above. Personally, however, I get overstimulated and "touched out" as it is by dealing with both boys...especially when Chase is nursing. I do great if Chase is nursing and that's all that's going on, but more often than not, Aiden is also climbing all over me and it would blow your mind the level of anxiety all this clamoring and touching causes me. If I had two children breastfeeding, I'm pretty sure I would LOSE MY MIND. Is this weird? To some, probably, but I'm an abuse survivor...I get touched out, and overcooked in  A LOT of different situations. Part of me, the emotional, I know tandem nursing is a good thing part, would really like Aiden to take up a liking for nursing so I could nurse them both...BUT...1: Aiden is a BIG kid, 30lbs and 3 feet tall, he doesn't need to be on me ok? and 2: that's too much touch for me...my breast would constantly be in SOMEONE's mouth and I"m not cool with that.


Many people wonder why you would nurse a toddler, and why you would tandem. I think the reasons are plain as day when you look at all the wonderful things in and about breastmilk, it really is easier to get it from the tap, so just do it that way. Many people say "I think it's great you tandem nurse/nurse an older child but I would never do it" but what's their reason...usually it's because it actually skeeves them out. Seriously, let's be honest, if you aren't an extended/tandem nurser...deep down, is it because it skeeves you out?! that's usually what's behind that statement, and often people only say the "I think it's great" part because they don't want to make the mom feel bad. Guess what, I'm on to this...it skeeves you out, and you know what...THAT'S OK TOO!! The fact is, around infant feeding/toddler feeding, we need to be supportive of other moms, even when they are not supportive or are skeeved out by what we do. The fact is, you don't know most people's motivations, even if you think you do! Part of the reason Aiden and I ended our nursing relationship early was because I didn't know how to/couldn't handle feeling exposed, used, and WAY overtouched when he started getting screwy at the breast...I couldn't handle it with a toddler for sure. :)

I've been hiding while nursing...

...I've been hiding... from my toddler! Since switching to nursing Chicken Little on demand he seems to think that he needs to nurse as often as the baby does (which is all the time...). For a while I was telling him that it was Chicklett's turn and that he could have a turn later, but now he's started to push her off of me and say that she is "all done." Couple this new attitude along with the fact that our normally sleeping 12-hours straight at night toddler has started waking more often than the baby and you've got one tired mama! So... I started trying to cover up and hide while nursing Chicklett. Break out the Udder Cover! Ha!

I'm not sure why I don't want him to nurse all the time - but something instinctual is telling me to limit him, and you should listen to your instinct. Other tandem mothers I know limit their nursing toddlers by only letting them nurse for a minute or two, but CL seems to be even more upset then because Chicklett will nurse for longer. We seem to be better off with him getting none at all until I'm in a position to let him have a full session.

On a side note - we believe his new sleeping issues is because of a sinus infection. We've never had one before, but upon complaining to girlfriends about his smelly breath a light has gone off in ye ol' brain.

My Whole30 Summary: Less Frodo Going to Mt. Doom (misery and pain) and More Sam Replanting the Shire (satisfying, hard work)

Now, about a month out from the Whole30, I think I can give a summary of what I did and what happened to me that might be useful.

What I Did:

Basically, for 30 days (with two evenings of eating less that perfectly at a rehearsal dinner and a wedding) I ate only meats, vegetables, nuts, and a little bit of fruit. I ate no dairy, no yucky oils, no alcohol, no potatoes, no added sugar, and no grains of any kind. I blogged the whole experience, and you can find my posts about it here. During these 30 days, I also did Crossfit 2x a week (except when I didn't) and was otherwise only mildly active with daily kinds of movement like gardening, cleaning, walking from the train to school, etc.)


How it Went:

For the first few days, I was excited, and sticking to it was fairly easy. I had recently quit smoking (a month before I started the Whole30 and now nearly 4 months), and I was way more confident about sticking to this month than I usually am when starting a diet. I mean, if I can quit smoking, I can do anything right?

Then came Days four and five. Suddenly, I hated all the cooking, I started having cravings, I felt like crap with no energy or happy feelings, and my Crossfit workouts became nearly impossible to complete. I had read to expect this, though, and my Crossfit coach seemed to think it was normal, so I just kept eating right and watched a lot of cheer-me-up TV.

After Day six, it was all easier. My body adjusted to the diet, and I had my energy and good mood back. Some of the highlights of the rest of the month were: greatly reduced PMS symptoms, improvement in my attitude and performance at Crossfit, managing a huge Halloween party without cheating and without too much misery, wearing my old pants, finding new foods to enjoy, and falling in love with a new paleo-friendly restaurant (a Brazilian steakhouse where actual Brazilians go, where it's affordable, and where the food is better than the big chains).

The Results:

Over the 30 days, I lost 15 pounds, dropped down a size in pants, dresses, and shirts, looked slimmer in my face and neck, and fit into my favorite bras again. My acne (which wasn't terrible, but it bothered me terribly) was gone, and my PMS symptoms were reduced. I felt better all around, including during exercise, with a clearer head and a little more energy (I was fairly energetic before). At my thyroid checkup, my doctor and I were happy to see that all antibodies pointing to Hashimoto's Thyroiditis were gone; he credits the gluten-free and the dessicated thyroid and iodine I take.

My Plans:

I was happier on the Whole30 than I thought I would be. I wasn't dying to go eat a big bowl of pasta on day 31. So, I think I will mostly stick with it. I'm going to allow myself alcohol at social events, but stick with the no dairy, no grains, no sugar. I am going to have a cheat once in a while; I can't imagine life without the potstickers at the Cheesecake Factory. But I don't mind giving up my daily crap. I don't need grains or sugar in my diet except for those occasional treats. When I eat them, I want it to be worth it. A slice of bread along with soup? Not worth it. High quality peppermint bark on Christmas morning? Worth it.

Last Observation:

I have had trouble in the past with an eating disorder, and any diet scares me. I don't want to become obsessed with the way I am eating like I was before. I don't want the process of making good changes in my nutrition to lead me to all kinds of self-hating mental talk. I want to continue to like my body and feel good about all it can do. For some reason, I had less trouble with the Whole30 than I have had before. I didn't focus on food every second of the day; I didn't start to hate myself more as pounds dropped away. For whatever reason, for the first time, I was able to remain rational about my body while following a food plan. That really might be the biggest benefit I have gotten from the Whole30.