Normalizing nursing one person at a time

Tonight (Tuesday) I was sitting in the hallway of my college waiting for my Ecofeminism professor to get there and unlock the classroom. As I waited, several more students showed up and joined me in the lap of luxury seating arrangement. One girl said to me, "Hey. You're like a breastfeeding guru, right?" I laughed and said "Yeah, something like that I suppose." Then she said she wanted my opinion on what age a child should wean. I, of course, stated that I felt that weaning was appropriate whenever mom and baby were ready. Then she asked me, well what about like a 7 year old nursing?!? I said, well the average age in the world is 5 year old so there are definitely some 7 year olds nursing. Then I started giving her some facts about the natural age of weaning, I said that I was breastfeeding my 3 year old and intended on letting her self wean, etc etc.

There were a few other girls there, sitting and listening and two of them asked me a few questions. I told them that before I had kids, the idea of nursing a 3 year old was like "Whaaaaaa?" but that when you're with your kids, it's not like one day they're just *different* then they were before simply because they are 3. At least 3 (maybe more!) girls were listening, responding and asking questions. I was so excited to be able to share these things with them and break down the barriers that this country has about breastfeeding. All 3 girls have no children...and their idea's of breastfeeding were probably very different then what I was telling them my experience was.

I talk about breastfeeding a lot. It's not something I really go out of my way to do, it just happens because I'm passionate about it. ::shrug:: I just can't help myself! And I also think that talking about it like I talk about anything (and EVERYTHING) else, helps normalize breastfeeding. Who knows? Today I may have helped create a major paradigm shift for some people about breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding and child led weaning. Maybe not...maybe they thought I was a total weirdo, but I like to believe that at the very least, somewhere down the road, when they have their own babies, they'll remember the conversation and know that it's okay to breastfeed, it's okay to breastfeed past a YEAR and want to know more about breastfeeding!! <3

It's easy to judge

I know a mom who did everything she could within her limits to breastfeed. She was failed by everyone around her though. The doctors, nurses, peds, specialists, lactation consultants. She had a community of women who did everything to help her. She did everything she could to make it work...and yet, it didn't. Baby is on formula after months of trying. I personally watched her go through this struggle and I, with my knowledge and passion, can't think of ANYTHING this amazing mama could have done differently. She truly did it all.

Watching this all has made me take a really good look at myself. Externally, I always say I try not to judge but if I'm out in public, before I can catch myself, I judge. I see a bottle with what I know is formula and I think, UGH! Luckily, I KNOW that so many women are failed by the medical system and that's a large, overwhelming reason why they are not able to successfully breastfeed. I have been in that position...I know what it's like. But that doesn't mean that my first reaction is sadness and irritation at all the bottles I see propped in babies mouths.

It's easy to judge. It's easy to sit there, with my beautiful baby at my breast who went through so much to live and breastfeed and make a quick judgement. With Ella, it was TOUGH. I went through A LOT to get her to breastfeed. I'm not looking for a pat on the back, it was really, really hard and if I hadn't had the support I did, I don't know if I would have made it through it. Maybe I would have, I don't know. But I *did* make it. I did, and here I am, breastfeeding with no issues, happy as can be. It's easy for me to sit on my pedestal of breastmilk and look at the artificial nipples in babies mouths with slight disdain.

Now, I admit, I'm being very melodramatic here. I don't actually look at all these bottle feeding mamas with disgust or disdain, I just have a brief flash of diasppointment, some judgement and then I talk myself through it. I remind myself of my first daughter...of this friend who did everything she possibly could, but still wasn't able to breastfeed. While it's easy to judge, we have to remember that it's not helping to judge these mamas. Educate gently. Support. And be a shoulder to cry on for those mamas who just couldn't do it. Whether it was because they weren't educated about breastfeeding, they had no support or they literally did everything they *possibly* could to make it work but it just didn't. All we can do as breastfeeding advocates is educate and support.

NIP: Support from strangers...it's not all insults and stares!

Today, while the ladies of The Good Letdown were playing at the park with our 6 kids, I sat at a bench and nursed Ella (pointing myself at a VERY pregnant mama to be so she could see that it's okay to nurse in public!). It's been hotter then hell here lately and of course I always forget water ::facepalm::. I was sitting there thinking that I wished I had water and BOOM, a religious group comes over and starts handing out water bottles to people. They came up to me and the woman handed me a bottle, smiled and said "A nursing mama especially needs some water!"

Now, whether or not you're a Christian and despite how you may feel about religious propaganda being handed out at a park, I was very impressed by their openness and attitude towards me NIP. I wasn't making any effort to cover whatsoever (I never do) and my breast was exposed (as was my fluffy belly). She looked straight at me, didn't look at all embarrassed and she had children/her husband with her. I was very pleased how she acted and made an effort to talk to me about nursing.

I've never had someone approach me while I was nursing and especially not in such a positive way. I was just pleased as punch that she was so open and accepting of me nursing openly at the park (and almost as happy that they had cold water...I drank mine AND Mother Hens haha!).

Letdown Love

When the three of us first thought to start this blog we had grand ideas...of an online community providing information and support for breastfeeding mothers using social media; information that was casual, open, friendly. We wanted people to SEE breastfeeding, so a new mother at least felt more comfortable with the image of a nursing baby, so it would be more normal to her. We hoped and dreamed of some big, awesome movement of breastfeeding mothers. 

When we hit 100 fans on our Facebook Page, we were so excited. Most of our fans were personal friends, colleagues, and online friends we knew from a few places. Then an AMAZING thing happened. People started sharing. They told friends who told friends who told friends, and here we are. We have over 600 fans on the facebook page, and more than 200 followers (what what?!!!!) here on the blog itself. The word has spread! We don't know how you found us, but we are SO GLAD you did. 

We are doing our best to keep up on the latest research, provide you with a safe place to ask questions, get support, and celebrate milestones. Sometimes posting is slower than others, sometimes we are really scraping the bottom of the barrel for inspiration, and sometimes life just gets in the way, but we are REALLY trying to bring you as much as we can in the best way we can.

A few days ago, after we started posting our hindsight stories (Megz's and Christa's), we started receiving private messages, and Mother Hen said to me "I'm kinda glad we started this whole blog thing." It made me smile. We are making a difference, we are helping women take charge of their health and their babies' health. We are touching lives, and it seems that you wonderful people are motivated, interested, and moved by our ideas, thoughts, musings, and stories. We are so happy to be able to reach out.

What I'm trying to say is, first of all, to those of you who were among our first fans...thank you for spreading our little blog around. Thank you for finding enough about what we were saying to spread the word to those you know. To those of you who have joined us over the last few months, thank you for coming over and "sitting down" with The Good Letdown. It means a lot to us to have women, families, and support persons here to share, learn, and laugh with us. 

We hope we are a part of your community, and we hope we continue to grow and reach more mothers. Don't hesitate to share our blog, or a specific topic with pregnant women and families, you have the power to turn on a lightbulb to start changing the outcome for mothers. We have a gap to fill where care providers fall short, to provide information and dispell myths, to make breastfeeding the STANDARD, not the exception. It's our job here to support mothers in giving their babies breastmilk, even if it's only some and not all, because every little bit makes mommies and babies healthier than if they received none at all. 

Thank you, and keep spreading the word. Share with us your thoughts and ideas. :)