It's easy to judge

I know a mom who did everything she could within her limits to breastfeed. She was failed by everyone around her though. The doctors, nurses, peds, specialists, lactation consultants. She had a community of women who did everything to help her. She did everything she could to make it work...and yet, it didn't. Baby is on formula after months of trying. I personally watched her go through this struggle and I, with my knowledge and passion, can't think of ANYTHING this amazing mama could have done differently. She truly did it all.

Watching this all has made me take a really good look at myself. Externally, I always say I try not to judge but if I'm out in public, before I can catch myself, I judge. I see a bottle with what I know is formula and I think, UGH! Luckily, I KNOW that so many women are failed by the medical system and that's a large, overwhelming reason why they are not able to successfully breastfeed. I have been in that position...I know what it's like. But that doesn't mean that my first reaction is sadness and irritation at all the bottles I see propped in babies mouths.

It's easy to judge. It's easy to sit there, with my beautiful baby at my breast who went through so much to live and breastfeed and make a quick judgement. With Ella, it was TOUGH. I went through A LOT to get her to breastfeed. I'm not looking for a pat on the back, it was really, really hard and if I hadn't had the support I did, I don't know if I would have made it through it. Maybe I would have, I don't know. But I *did* make it. I did, and here I am, breastfeeding with no issues, happy as can be. It's easy for me to sit on my pedestal of breastmilk and look at the artificial nipples in babies mouths with slight disdain.

Now, I admit, I'm being very melodramatic here. I don't actually look at all these bottle feeding mamas with disgust or disdain, I just have a brief flash of diasppointment, some judgement and then I talk myself through it. I remind myself of my first daughter...of this friend who did everything she possibly could, but still wasn't able to breastfeed. While it's easy to judge, we have to remember that it's not helping to judge these mamas. Educate gently. Support. And be a shoulder to cry on for those mamas who just couldn't do it. Whether it was because they weren't educated about breastfeeding, they had no support or they literally did everything they *possibly* could to make it work but it just didn't. All we can do as breastfeeding advocates is educate and support.

Bad Advice

When I was breastfeeding Olivia, as we approached the age of 1 I thought to myself, we've actually only been nursing 6 months, so it's not fair to either of us to wean. I'm just going to keep going. I didn't actually KNOW that people did this. When I googled toddler breastfeeding, I was astonished to learn I wasn't alone.
With Ella, the very IDEA of weaning at one never would have crossed my mind. Not even for a second. She'll be a year in 3 weeks (sob), and she still nurses throughout the night and at least every 3 hours during the day, although usually more. She can make it longer when I go to class (4.5 hours, with a snack of solids) but if the boobs are around, she's all up in the bizness.
Because we are approaching a year, I've been thinking about how some people DO wean at a year...and I really want to know how they do this. I'm not being judgmental, really I'm not. I'm honestly curious. If I were going to wean Ella at a year old, it'd be horrible. She's NO where near ready to wean and the idea of denying her breast just boggles my mind.
I decided to google "weaning at a year" to see what comes up. The first website is a website I absolutely detest. Every time I google something to do with parenting, this site comes up and the advice is almost always ::facepalm:: worthy. Kids Health article on Weaning frustrated me so much! They said:

Some experts say that after the first birthday is the best time to begin weaning because kids are more adaptable to change at that age. (A 2-year-old toddler, for example, is likely to be much more attached to breastfeeding and less flexible about giving it up.) A 1-year-old baby is also eating more solid foods and so may naturally lose interest in nursing. Engorgement will also become less of a problem for moms around this time because as the demand for breast milk decreases, so does milk production.

I mean, seriously...they are essentially saying if you nurse past a year, your toddler will be attached to you and be completely insatiable. ::facepalm...headdesk...sigh of frustration:: This blog post actually originally started as a question about weaning at one but now it's morphed into a frustrated blog post about getting bad information about breastfeeding. We see it all the time. We always try to correct it when we see it but it's like never ending. It can get so frustrating to encounter this ridiculous information all across the board.

As we approach our blogiversary (yeah, we're that dorky), I know I personally am looking back on why we started this blog. We started this blog because we wanted to share our experience about breastfeeding as well as provide support and information. We wanted to bust up the myths that are everywhere. As I was writing this post, and I came across some of these stupid webpages that exist, it really reminded me how important it is to keep this up. Keep up providing support. Keep up the information. The love.  The village.

Letdown Love

When the three of us first thought to start this blog we had grand ideas...of an online community providing information and support for breastfeeding mothers using social media; information that was casual, open, friendly. We wanted people to SEE breastfeeding, so a new mother at least felt more comfortable with the image of a nursing baby, so it would be more normal to her. We hoped and dreamed of some big, awesome movement of breastfeeding mothers. 

When we hit 100 fans on our Facebook Page, we were so excited. Most of our fans were personal friends, colleagues, and online friends we knew from a few places. Then an AMAZING thing happened. People started sharing. They told friends who told friends who told friends, and here we are. We have over 600 fans on the facebook page, and more than 200 followers (what what?!!!!) here on the blog itself. The word has spread! We don't know how you found us, but we are SO GLAD you did. 

We are doing our best to keep up on the latest research, provide you with a safe place to ask questions, get support, and celebrate milestones. Sometimes posting is slower than others, sometimes we are really scraping the bottom of the barrel for inspiration, and sometimes life just gets in the way, but we are REALLY trying to bring you as much as we can in the best way we can.

A few days ago, after we started posting our hindsight stories (Megz's and Christa's), we started receiving private messages, and Mother Hen said to me "I'm kinda glad we started this whole blog thing." It made me smile. We are making a difference, we are helping women take charge of their health and their babies' health. We are touching lives, and it seems that you wonderful people are motivated, interested, and moved by our ideas, thoughts, musings, and stories. We are so happy to be able to reach out.

What I'm trying to say is, first of all, to those of you who were among our first fans...thank you for spreading our little blog around. Thank you for finding enough about what we were saying to spread the word to those you know. To those of you who have joined us over the last few months, thank you for coming over and "sitting down" with The Good Letdown. It means a lot to us to have women, families, and support persons here to share, learn, and laugh with us. 

We hope we are a part of your community, and we hope we continue to grow and reach more mothers. Don't hesitate to share our blog, or a specific topic with pregnant women and families, you have the power to turn on a lightbulb to start changing the outcome for mothers. We have a gap to fill where care providers fall short, to provide information and dispell myths, to make breastfeeding the STANDARD, not the exception. It's our job here to support mothers in giving their babies breastmilk, even if it's only some and not all, because every little bit makes mommies and babies healthier than if they received none at all. 

Thank you, and keep spreading the word. Share with us your thoughts and ideas. :)