Things I Learned on My Travels Aside from the Order of Succession of the Monarchy

I learned many things on my travels. I know a lot more about the early kings and queens of England, and that's saying something because I knew a pretty good amount before. I know more about human evolution, about meteorites, about Roman mythology, and about online writing centers. Here are some different lessons that I learned:

1. Always, always wear your barefootshoes. No matter how stunning you think you look in your new black boots, DONOT WEAR THEM FOR WALKING ALL DAY! How do people wear shoes like these all thetime? They weren’t even heels!
2. When in England, eat Indian foodat every meal.
3. You get used to extreme cold andwind after about a week and don’t need your scarf and extra layers anymore. Youalways need your gloves, though.
4. Don’t bother with an umbrella. Nomatter how much it is raining, the wind is always stronger and really does turnumbrellas inside out! I thought that was just in movies!
5. When you travel alone, you meetlots of interesting people. The days I was on my own, people talked to meeverywhere I went. I met a Hungarian Ph.D. student, a father of a choir member,a man sitting at a café, a man taking the same walk I was who shared mydistaste for a piece of modern art, and a nice old lady at church.
6. Always take the guided tours atcathedrals. The guides are always hilarious old people who know EVERYTHING anduse the word “jolly” a lot.
7. Don’t pay attention to the reviewsof English hotels. They are written by Americans who are used to convenienceand space, and they always rank hotels low for being small and inconvenient.This isn’t helpful because everything in all of England is small (except forcathedrals) and inconvenient (except for drinking alcohol).
8. Never drive in York.
9. Cornish pasties are pretty good,but they do not rhyme with “tasty.” Instead, they have a short a sound, likenasty. A pAYsty goes on a stripper’s nipple.
10. The British believe very strongly inreligious services and tradition and cathedrals, but not so much in god. Incontrast, Southerners could worship in an outhouse if someone brought a NewTestament with the words of Jesus in red.
11. If you have the misfortune to bein a train station with Aaron, go ahead of him. Then you don’t have to watchhim be slow, stop randomly in the middle of walkways, and wonder which way isout when the sign saying “WAY OUT” is right in front of his face. Just gothrough the station and wait for him patiently outside.
12. If you want even passable serviceat restaurants, stay in America.
13. No matter how long you stay, therewill be things you didn’t see that you wish you had. Apparently, you can neverbe done with a rich, interesting country like England, especially London.Samuel Johnson was right: “A man who is tired of London is tired of life.” Forexample, I never made it to Samuel Johnson’s house.
14. Pack half of what you think youneed. In one week, your cleanliness standards will drop to the point that youwon’t care if you are wearing dirty clothes. Plus, they have washing machinesin England. They are small and inconvenient, but if you are worried about that,see #7.
15. 3 weeks is a long time to be away from your own beloved child, but some trips can be worth it. Even if you dread putting the sleeping child into her own bed for days after you get back and you actually think watching her do needlepoint is interesting. :)