Tonight, I watched the last episode of the Gilmore Girls. I sobbed. I cried because, in that amazing way good TV has of making the unreal real, I felt that an era in my life, not just in Lorelai and Rory's, was ending. I felt that a girl I knew had grown into a woman and that a woman I loved was losing her child to adulthood.
I don't love the Gilmore Girls because they are paragons of Objectivist virtues or heroic in an epic way. In fact, half the time they make decisions that I think are wrong or stupid or just silly. I don't love them because they are smart and witty (though they are) or because they are beautiful (they are that too).
I love them because they represent a kind of relationship between parent and child that I crave for Livy and me. I want to be like Lorelai; I want to let Livy make her own decisions and mistakes and successes. I want to keep her close to me, knowing me and being known, and at the same time, let her go and be who she is. I want to be the place where she comes for meltdowns, the person that she relies upon when everything else is unreliable, and the sharer in her greatest triumphs.
And, though this part is much more out of my control, I want her to see me as a person, not just a mom. I want her to know that I make mistakes, to watch me living my values, to give me her opinions on my choices, and to be a part of the exciting era of my life that will come after her childhood. I want to teach her what she needs to know, but I also want to nurture a real relationship between us that will last even when we are equals.
Watching Rory leave Stars Hollow to hit the campaign trail made me ache for Lorelai and for me. I know that one day I will face a house and a daily life without Livy in it. When she goes, I want to know that we will miss each other, miss each other's company, not just the idea and familiarity of home. And when she goes, I want to have a career and love and a community like Lorelai, a life full of adventures and values, just as Livy will have, a life we can continue to share.
The greatest tribute that I can give to the Gilmore Girls is that it inspires me to be a better parent, to be more open, more communicative, more understanding, more nurturing, more fun, and to respect Livy's individuality.
I don't love the Gilmore Girls because they are paragons of Objectivist virtues or heroic in an epic way. In fact, half the time they make decisions that I think are wrong or stupid or just silly. I don't love them because they are smart and witty (though they are) or because they are beautiful (they are that too).
I love them because they represent a kind of relationship between parent and child that I crave for Livy and me. I want to be like Lorelai; I want to let Livy make her own decisions and mistakes and successes. I want to keep her close to me, knowing me and being known, and at the same time, let her go and be who she is. I want to be the place where she comes for meltdowns, the person that she relies upon when everything else is unreliable, and the sharer in her greatest triumphs.
And, though this part is much more out of my control, I want her to see me as a person, not just a mom. I want her to know that I make mistakes, to watch me living my values, to give me her opinions on my choices, and to be a part of the exciting era of my life that will come after her childhood. I want to teach her what she needs to know, but I also want to nurture a real relationship between us that will last even when we are equals.
Watching Rory leave Stars Hollow to hit the campaign trail made me ache for Lorelai and for me. I know that one day I will face a house and a daily life without Livy in it. When she goes, I want to know that we will miss each other, miss each other's company, not just the idea and familiarity of home. And when she goes, I want to have a career and love and a community like Lorelai, a life full of adventures and values, just as Livy will have, a life we can continue to share.
The greatest tribute that I can give to the Gilmore Girls is that it inspires me to be a better parent, to be more open, more communicative, more understanding, more nurturing, more fun, and to respect Livy's individuality.
