I want to switch my list up a bit to include more infantry and be less jack reliant. Unfortunately I'm using all the infantry I have except for a unit of Winter Guard Infantry. I was initially underwhelmed by the unit, but after having read around some I'm itching to give them a shot. The only issue is I want to field them with the UA and Kovnik Joe, and perhaps some Rocketeers too. I don't have any of those parts, so I haven't made a list with them yet. I decided to fiddle with Forward Kommander a bit and see what I could come up with. I found that I have most of the makings for a pSorscha tier list, so I figured one up to see what I'd need for it and this is what I came up with.
pSorscha + 5
Kodiak - 8
Destroyer - 9
Wardog - 1
Min Battle Mechanics - 2 *
Widowmakers - 4
Full Winter Guard Infantry - 6
Winter Guard UA - 2
2 Rocketeers - 2 *
2 Winter Guard Mortars - 6
Kovnik Joe - free for tier 2 *
This list gets me to tier 2 and thus a free Kovnik Joe. I'm torn on the last point between what I have now and maxing out either the Rocketeers to 3 or the Battle Mechanics. That will be a decision to come though, as I'll have to get 5 blisters to do this list as it is (the starred entries) and I want to get Strakhov as well. I plan to chip away at it over the coming month or so, especially as I still have plenty of stuff to be painted as it is. I'll also need to order a scope for a Mortar spotter since I'll be running a pair. Or maybe just the one plus a Widowmaker Marksman and either another Rocketeer or full Mechanics. But that option would need more new models still. The UA and Kovnik Joe (and Strakhov) are at the top of the list in any case.
Got a bit of painting done today, but nowhere near what I wanted to. I made some progress on the Widowmakers and have a Mortar unit at about 35%. The wardog is still waiting to be glued together and based. Broke out the camera again today to try out macro mode, but it still wouldn't focus on a mini. I'd rather wait on photos than put up a bunch of blurry ones, so that's on the future list as well.
3/30/10
Khadoran Machine Rolls On
Had another game with EV this afternoon and scored another rousing victory, though this one was much closer than the last. I used the same list as last time with two exceptions: I ran pVlad instead of pSorscha and I marshaled the Destroyer instead of the Kodiak. EV played Cryx and a list that I'll attempt to recreate as best I can. He had a lot more models this time, many of which I was unfamiliar with and/or that died before I got a handle on what they did.
pAsphyxious
Cankerworm
3 of the little bonejacks, not sure which ones but I think one of each
Mechanithralls with Necrosurgeon and 2 Brute Thralls
Bile Thralls
Necrotech
2 Pistol Wraiths
Machine Wraith
Skarlock (I think)
I was surprised at his lack of a heavy jack, though I see now that the Cankerworm filled that role fairly well. One of my biggest concerns about Cryx when I started learning the game (all of a month ago) was Incorporeal models. I hadn't faced any until today, when I was staring down three of them. It turns out that I didn't have to worry so much, mostly thanks to the Ternions. The Greylords were definitely the men of the match for me, taking out both Pistol Wraiths, the majority of the Mechanithralls, the Necrosurgeon, and did a couple wounds on the Brute Thralls. I hadn't had the opportunity to use a spray template before today, despite hearing good things about them. Turns out they are, in fact, worth their weight in gold. There was a smallish building in the middle of the board, which EV filled with the Cankerworm and Pistol Wraiths, leaving them nice and bunched up for the Ternion's magic shotguns of doom. After cleaning house, the next turn saw them swing around the house to hose the Mechanithralls, with one Greylord taking out 4 of them and the Necrosurgeon with a single shot. Brutal.
Attrition was higher this time around. I lost the Juggernaut (again), Ternions, Manhunter (also again) and 3 of 4 Widowmakers. My two remaining 'jacks were at about 50%, one flank had nothing but the Mortar holding it down, and Vlad ended the game well ahead of the rest of his troops. It didn't matter, though, as I got to engage his cruise-missile mode and do an assassination run. Asphyxious got too close to my line, so I dropped a mortar on his head then popped Vlad's feat, Boundless Charge to get over terrain, Blood of Kings and went to town. After playing Sorscha with her modest melee abilities I was very happy with the result.
I was also happy with the Mortar in this game. After it hit exactly nothing in the last game, it managed to kill things with both direct hits and fortunate scatters. The shell to the face of the Lich worked very well as Vlad arrived with less punch than I'd wanted, after having to Boundless Charge over terrain, but I'd forgotten that I'd softened the Lich up a little earlier in the turn. I was amazed that the Mortar managed to hit a caster with no help, just a clutch roll. In the end I think Vlad did enough damage to get the job done on his own, but the margin was too close as it was. Still, a victory is a victory and I have a pair now in as many games. You can't ask for much more than that.
On the painting front, nothing is happening. I got started on assembling the war puppy, but I'm debating how to put it together. The middle is hollow with each side having half the body, in an L shape sort of deal. It's an odd way to make a figure and something I've never really seen before. I ran a pin through the middle to connect the halves, but as of now it's only glued into one side. I think I'll green stuff it around the pin while also gluing around the edges of the body. I'm very worried that it won't hold, but the PP forums tell me it will, so we'll see how it goes. I hope to get assembly on it done tomorrow, or at least advanced more than it is now, along with more general painting. I also hope to get some pictures taken tomorrow. I had previously decided to base coat everything and then go back and do highlights and shading, though now I'm leaning back towards doing a test model where I try and figure out wet blending. I ordered some card sleeves from my FLGS that will hopefully come in tomorrow, and I want to pick up Strakhov while I'm there. Maybe the Winterguard UA and Kovnik Joe. And the Butcher. And and and. Funny how I came back to gaming with the intention of painting first and gaming a distant second, but now I'm right back at painting to game, and painting half-assed at that. Still, I hold out hope that this time I'll actually go back to models and finish them up. Time will tell.
pAsphyxious
Cankerworm
3 of the little bonejacks, not sure which ones but I think one of each
Mechanithralls with Necrosurgeon and 2 Brute Thralls
Bile Thralls
Necrotech
2 Pistol Wraiths
Machine Wraith
Skarlock (I think)
I was surprised at his lack of a heavy jack, though I see now that the Cankerworm filled that role fairly well. One of my biggest concerns about Cryx when I started learning the game (all of a month ago) was Incorporeal models. I hadn't faced any until today, when I was staring down three of them. It turns out that I didn't have to worry so much, mostly thanks to the Ternions. The Greylords were definitely the men of the match for me, taking out both Pistol Wraiths, the majority of the Mechanithralls, the Necrosurgeon, and did a couple wounds on the Brute Thralls. I hadn't had the opportunity to use a spray template before today, despite hearing good things about them. Turns out they are, in fact, worth their weight in gold. There was a smallish building in the middle of the board, which EV filled with the Cankerworm and Pistol Wraiths, leaving them nice and bunched up for the Ternion's magic shotguns of doom. After cleaning house, the next turn saw them swing around the house to hose the Mechanithralls, with one Greylord taking out 4 of them and the Necrosurgeon with a single shot. Brutal.
Attrition was higher this time around. I lost the Juggernaut (again), Ternions, Manhunter (also again) and 3 of 4 Widowmakers. My two remaining 'jacks were at about 50%, one flank had nothing but the Mortar holding it down, and Vlad ended the game well ahead of the rest of his troops. It didn't matter, though, as I got to engage his cruise-missile mode and do an assassination run. Asphyxious got too close to my line, so I dropped a mortar on his head then popped Vlad's feat, Boundless Charge to get over terrain, Blood of Kings and went to town. After playing Sorscha with her modest melee abilities I was very happy with the result.
I was also happy with the Mortar in this game. After it hit exactly nothing in the last game, it managed to kill things with both direct hits and fortunate scatters. The shell to the face of the Lich worked very well as Vlad arrived with less punch than I'd wanted, after having to Boundless Charge over terrain, but I'd forgotten that I'd softened the Lich up a little earlier in the turn. I was amazed that the Mortar managed to hit a caster with no help, just a clutch roll. In the end I think Vlad did enough damage to get the job done on his own, but the margin was too close as it was. Still, a victory is a victory and I have a pair now in as many games. You can't ask for much more than that.
On the painting front, nothing is happening. I got started on assembling the war puppy, but I'm debating how to put it together. The middle is hollow with each side having half the body, in an L shape sort of deal. It's an odd way to make a figure and something I've never really seen before. I ran a pin through the middle to connect the halves, but as of now it's only glued into one side. I think I'll green stuff it around the pin while also gluing around the edges of the body. I'm very worried that it won't hold, but the PP forums tell me it will, so we'll see how it goes. I hope to get assembly on it done tomorrow, or at least advanced more than it is now, along with more general painting. I also hope to get some pictures taken tomorrow. I had previously decided to base coat everything and then go back and do highlights and shading, though now I'm leaning back towards doing a test model where I try and figure out wet blending. I ordered some card sleeves from my FLGS that will hopefully come in tomorrow, and I want to pick up Strakhov while I'm there. Maybe the Winterguard UA and Kovnik Joe. And the Butcher. And and and. Funny how I came back to gaming with the intention of painting first and gaming a distant second, but now I'm right back at painting to game, and painting half-assed at that. Still, I hold out hope that this time I'll actually go back to models and finish them up. Time will tell.
Parenting Toolbox: Validate Feelings
So before I talk about what to do with feelings, what are they exactly?
"Your subconscious is like a computer—more complex a computer than men can build—and its main function is the integration of your ideas. Who programs it? Your conscious mind. If you default, if you don’t reach any firm convictions, your subconscious is programmed by chance—and you deliver yourself into the power of ideas you do not know you have accepted. But one way or the other, your computer gives you print-outs, daily and hourly, in the form of emotions—which are lightning-like estimates of the things around you, calculated according to your values." --Ayn Rand "Philosophy: Who Needs It" from Philosophy: Who Needs It
So basically, feelings are automatic physiological responses to value judgments a person has already made. Feelings can be good clues to figuring out your thinking, but feelings can never replace thinking. Feelings, as automatic responses, are neither wrong or right; only the underlying conclusions can be wrong or right.
So what does this mean about the way parents should respond to children's emotions? One more quote:
"Your subconscious is like a computer—more complex a computer than men can build—and its main function is the integration of your ideas. Who programs it? Your conscious mind. If you default, if you don’t reach any firm convictions, your subconscious is programmed by chance—and you deliver yourself into the power of ideas you do not know you have accepted. But one way or the other, your computer gives you print-outs, daily and hourly, in the form of emotions—which are lightning-like estimates of the things around you, calculated according to your values." --Ayn Rand "Philosophy: Who Needs It" from Philosophy: Who Needs It
So basically, feelings are automatic physiological responses to value judgments a person has already made. Feelings can be good clues to figuring out your thinking, but feelings can never replace thinking. Feelings, as automatic responses, are neither wrong or right; only the underlying conclusions can be wrong or right.
So what does this mean about the way parents should respond to children's emotions? One more quote:
"An emotion as such tells you nothing about reality, beyond the fact that something makes you feel something. Without a ruthlessly honest commitment to introspection—to the conceptual identification of your inner states—you will not discover what you feel, what arouses the feeling, and whether your feeling is an appropriate response to the facts of reality, or a mistaken response, or a vicious illusion produced by years of self-deception . . . .
In the field of introspection, the two guiding questions are: “What do I feel?” and “Why do I feel it?"
--Ayn Rand "Philosophical Detection" from Philosophy: Who Needs It
The correct response to an emotion is introspection, asking oneself these two questions. But small children are not yet skilled in introspection, so it should be our goal as parents to model the process for them, both in dealing with our own emotions and with their. First, an example of modeling when dealing with our own emotions.
Today, Livy was playing over at Jenn's house with Ryan, Morgan, and two neighbor boys. The kids were excited and chased each other into the street. I immediately yelled, "Out of the street!" with real fear in my voice. When they were safely in the yard, I told them how scared I was when they went into the street and why. I identified my emotion for them - yelling, big-eyed, breathing hard Mom equals fear (first question - "What do I feel?"), and then I told them that a car might have hit them (second question - "Why do I feel it?"). By modeling an identification of my emotion and a reason why I feel it, I am teaching them not only to stay out of the street, but how to introspect. This situation may require more teaching ("You may not know this, but cars sometimes drive too fast on this road. They may not see you."), more problem solving ("What can we do so that you remember to stay out of the road?"), or more limit setting ("You may not play in the front yard unless an adult is outside with you."), but in this post, I am just interested in the emotions of the situation.
Now an example of dealing with a child's emotions:
Livy comes running into the house, crying. I go to her and pick her up and ask, "What is the matter, sweetie?" She launches into a story about how they were playing red light green light and Ryan did this and Morgan did this and then that happened and then this happened, etc. I listen until she is done telling me the story, and then I say, "You sound really mad. Are you mad?" Sometimes I am right, sometimes not. Let's say this time she says, "No, I am sad." Then I say, "I can see that are so so so sad." She says, "Yes. So sad. As sad as the whole universe." So now we have answered the first question: What are you feeling? Next, she might (cause she is 6 and has been practicing introspection for years) tell me why she is sad. "Ryan or Morgan or someone else or the universe hurt my feelings by doing X." But when she was smaller, I would say, "Are you sad because Ryan, Morgan, or whoever did X?" Sometimes a yes, sometimes a no, but now she is focused on the second question: Why do I feel it?
If a parent hides his own feelings and the reasons for them, he has denied the child a chance to observe introspection. If the parent tells a child in the grip of an emotion, "Don't be upset. It will be alright" or distracts the child from his emotion or tells the child his emotion is not appropriate, he has denied the child a chance to practice introspection. I believe that preventing children for experiencing, thinking about, and working through their emotions leads to repression.
So validating the child's feelings in the moment means:
1. postponing a discussion of the thoughts behind the emotion until the introspection is done. In other words, let people feel what they feel before you start trying to find solutions. This can be especially hard if they child's emotions seem inappropriate or are directed at you. But, emotions are valid, even if they underlying thoughts are not, and so letting the emotion happen before working on the underlying thoughts allows introspection and then problem solving.
2. "not fixing, rescuing, or trying to talk children out of their feelings." ( Jane Nelson) A big emotion is a great chance for kids to introspect and to learn that they are capable. They learn that feeling sad or scared or angry won't last forever, and that they can make it through.
3. being present with the child who is in the grip of a big emotion. Emotions, for the child who is still unskilled at dealing with them, can be really scary. Their hearts may race; they may feel out of control; or they might get all sweaty or shaky. It is much easier to do the hard work of introspection when we feel safe and supported. Also, since children are not skilled introspectors, they need a parent to help them walk through the process. I am always amazed that adults expect 2 year olds in time out to "think about what you did;" it is our job as parents to teach them how to do that kind of thinking (and I don't believe they can do it alone, or even at all, at 2).
One final thought: I think validating feelings would work wonders for most relationships, not just those with children. How many of us have felt, after telling a friend or spouse about a problem, that we wished they had just supported us and then let us come up with our own solutions? For children, I think it is the same. When they are in the grip of an emotion, they need our support and love while they are feeling the emotion and introspecting about it, and then they can work on their own solutions (probably with our help). By jumping right in to end the emotion and get the problem solved for them, we deny them a chance to be efficacious.
More Formspring Q&A
This is just so fun! Ask me more! http://www.formspring.me/kellyelmore
Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Do you want any?
My ears are pierced, and they used to be pierced in a lot of places, including in the inside. When I stopped being rebellious on purpose to make my parents crazy, I let those holes grow up.
I have no tattoos, but I want one. I'm kind of a wimp, so I haven't gotten one yet. I want a daffodil. Also, besides being a wimp, I also can't think of anywhere on my body that either still looks perky or will look perky forever, so I am nervous about a droopy, wilting daffodil!
Given your view of sex as a good thing that shouldn't be considered shameful or wrong, at what point do you expect Livy to start having sexual relationships? Will you be teaching her about birth control and sexual safety at puberty or some other time?
Interesting. In some ways we have already started talking about birth control and safe sex. She has asked me to please have another baby, and I have explained how Aaron and I aren't planning on doing that and how because some smarty invented a way to have sex and not get pregnant, we don't have to! I explained vasectomies in detail because that's so neat-o. I have no idea how much of that she took in because she was pouty about no more babies at the time. :)
As far as sexual relationships, I don't know when she will begin to have them. I would expect it would be in her teenage years, but I wouldn't be opposed to her waiting longer either.
Since kids mature sexually long before they become legal grownups, I think it is unrealistic to expect them not to be having sex. It's fun, it feels really good, and their biology will be driving them to want it in a serious way for YEARS before they move out and start living as an adult. So, my plan is to raise as mature a child as possible, talk with her about birth control and abortion and sexually transmitted diseases and the potential emotional consequences of sex long before she might have it (before puberty for sure), and then rejoice with her in the good feelings sex brings.
I do think puberty is too late, especially if that is the first sex talk of any kind. I think sex, like nutrition and good philosophy, should be talked about all through a child's life, whenever the subject arises because of the child's interest, something the adult wants to explain, or something seen on TV or read in a book.
You mentioned that you wished Ayn Rand had consulted with some parents before writing the sections in ItOE about children. Which parts do you take issue with, and why? by shlevy
I was thinking that I had read in ITOE a section about the timing of children moving from sensation, to perception, to concepts. I can't find it, so I suspect it might be in some other book. I am pretty sure I read it in an Objectivist book, but I have not proof.
Anyway, here is the timing I see: Infants are born already in the perceptual phase. They immediately are able to discriminate between different sensations and organize them into percepts, recognizing mom's voice, moving toward the nipples, etc. I've even read that babies can distinguish between different kinds of sound in the womb, but I don't know if that is true. So, they begin to organize sensations into percepts much earlier than whatever I read in that mystery book (which seemed to say infants were purely sensation). I also remember reading in the same passage that children become conceptual about the time they learn to speak, and this is definitely untrue. Because of using baby signs, it was clear to me that Sean (Rational Jenn's last baby) was conceptual several months before he learned to speak. He not only used signs, but used a vroom, vroom car sound to mean car and applied it not just to one or two cars but to all cars with the measurements omitted.
Anyway, I wish I could know where I read what I read. If anyone has any idea, please let me know.
What's your favorite Shakespeare play or poem? by rationaljenn
I'm not the hugest fan of reading Shakespeare. I don't usually like to read and study plays. But I love to see Shakespeare on stage. My favorite play is The Tempest. I also love King Lear, Much Ado About Nothing, and the Henry histories.
As for his poems, my favorite is Sonnet 73: http://poetry.eserver.org/sonnets/073.html.
You’re on a desert island. You can pick one author to be stranded with—not the author’s books, the man or woman him- or herself. Which author would you choose as your companion? ~Ans
I would probably not choose an author, for two reasons.
1. I'd choose an engineer/inventor type because I want to have lots of cool stuff to help me live on the island.
2. I tend to be attracted (both in love and in friendship) to people who are sciency and left-brained. I would probably enjoy my time more with someone like this. Plus, without any other resources for entertainment, wouldn't it be better to be stranded with someone who knew all the opposite things from you so that you could have what's in his brain to learn and keep you entertained?
If you are going to make me choose an author in this hypothetical, I don't know what to say. It's the books I'm interested in, and of the writers I know lots about, I can't think of one I'd like to live alone with on an island.
Off the top of my head, I think Samuel Johnson would be pretty entertaining. He's the best I can come up with, but he was kind of a jerk sometimes, so maybe not.
What gives you the best sense of accomplishment (outside of parenting)?
Actually, parenting does not give me the best sense of accomplishment, except in general terms. It isn't my primary career. Teaching is.
For now, most of my formal teaching happens in the gymnastics class I teach for university students studying to become P.E. teachers. I designed the class to teach them the basic skills of gymnastics and to teach them how to teach gymnastics to their future students.
My favorite thing in the class is when I am able to explain to my students how to break down a skill and convey it in the most simple way to their students. I am able to initiate them into the essence of teaching; figuring out the smallest pieces of the knowledge and figuring out how to convey it.
I love it when I find exactly the right words for a particular student and when I see the knowledge click into place in their minds. I love this when dealing with gymnastics, and I can't imagine how much I am going to love it when I am teaching writing and literature.
In a close second and third would be the moments when my daughter and I solve a problem together in a way that makes both of us happy (but you said no parenting, so ignore that) and when I have been struggling over a piece of a novel or poem and finally get it. The point comes home to me, and the quote or the feeling of the passage really belongs to me forever.
The Navier-Stokes equations describe fluid flow. Do these equations have solutions that last for all time, given arbitrary sufficiently nice initial data? Or do singularities develop in the fluid flow, which prevent the solution from continuing?
Nothing, not even equations, have solutions that last for all time. Didn't you know that we are all just dust in the wind? Here's a Robert Frost poem to enlighten you further on the constant change which is life for humans and for Navier-Stokes equations:
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
3/28/10
Some Formspring Questions
I've been enjoying answering questions on formspring, so I thought I would post some of my answers here. Please keep asking. It is super fun, and you guys know how much I love talking about myself.
What do you love about vampires? Since there are so many different depictions of them, please describe your favorite(s) and the one(s) you can't stand.
Great! Here’s a question I can really sink my teeth into! Ha, ha!
I think that I love vampires so much because they are the embodiment of all the traditional feminine sexual desires. They are beautiful, mysterious, powerful, charming, dangerous. They are driven wild by the smell and the taste and even the sight (in blushing cheeks) of a woman’s essence. Blood is a symbol of life force; the pumping heart of vitality. A vampire actually survives by consuming life. Nothing could be more primal or intense. And really, what woman wouldn’t want a lover who wanted her so much that he wanted to absolutely drain her, take everything for himself, master her completely even unto death. I wouldn’t literally want to die for sex, but metaphorically, I want to be annihilated by it. The vampire’s whole existence is driven by doing just that.
Of course, the fantasy is only good when the vampire is able to restrain himself, at least somewhat. That’s why the animalistic portrayal of vampires in Buffy is not appealing. Angel and Spike, though, feel the desire those other vampires feel, but they don’t act on it, at least not all the way, so the seduction can continue and the girl can live another day. I don’t like Anne Rice’s vampires all that much (though I love the Mayfair witches) because they are so effeminate. Are they all gay? Cause that’s not in my vampire fantasy. I LOVE Eric, one of Charlaine Harris’s vampires, because he is everything above plus a super smart business man. Sort of Hank Reardon meets hot creature of the night. I found Dracula (a la Bram Stoker) kind of gross. More like a bloated mosquito than a dreamy demon lover. I like the Twilight vampires for all the above reasons, though they are poorly written compared to the others I have listed. Underworld vamps were meh. I can’t think of others I should critique off the top of my head.
Another appealing thing about vamps is their immortality; it always makes for an interesting perspective in a story. I love to see how authors handle that. Are they still thriving (Eric)? Are they tired of life? (The Anne Rice vamp who gives the interview – can’t remember which one he is) Are they tortured by the things they have done? (Angel) Do they try to blend in with human society? (the Cullens)
On a purely physical level, are you more attracted to men or women? On the level of a prospective long-term relationship, are you more likely to consider men or women?
On a physical level, I am more attracted to men, but also very attracted to women. Maybe 60/40?
For a relationship, I am generally much more attracted to me. I have only had one relationship with a woman that I thought had any real long term potential, but as it turned out, she wasn't quite as gay as she thought. I also had one date with a girl that felt emotionally right, but that one didn't work out either. Almost all of my liasons with women have been either purely physical or physical relationships with friends. I'd make my percentages for relationships much more dramatic, like 95/5.
Do you think "shrugging" is ever appropriate outside of the fictional setting of Atlas Shrugged? What about revolution by force? What conditions would have to be met before you committed to either of these actions (shrugging or revolting)?
If by "shrugging" you mean leaving the mainstream world and hiding out somewhere with loved ones and making do with what you can produce yourself, I think shrugging is always appropriate. It seems individual to me. It would depend on how much you like civilization and how much you enjoy homesteading values and how bad things have gotten for you personally.
It wouldn't take all that much for me to shrug. If I had tons of money and if my closest friends were able to now as well, I'd go now to some remote place, live with people I love, produce most everything ourselves, and start learning to do the rest. For now, though, we depend on that heavily taxed income of Aaron's, and life here is too good to give it up.
As for revolution, I think that I have the right to end by force any rights violation that the government perpetrates on me. So, I technically have the right to revolt now. But, I think that things would have to be pretty bad before I would make that decision. I would have to believe that the life I am living is so bad that I cannot live in it anymore. My values would have to be so threatened that I would face death rather than continue in the way things have been going. We certainly aren't there for me yet, and I haven't given up hope that change is still possible without a violent revolt.
Do you think pornography is a degredation of sex? Do you enjoy watching it?
Oh. Thanks for the clarification.
I love pornography! I find a lot of the visual kind cheesy, but that might just be cause I am a girl. I love written erotica even more.
I think everything can be a degradation of sex if you are a degraded and degrading kind of individual. But if you use porn because you enjoy it and because your motto is "The more sex the better, even in media," then I think it is a great value.
I think that most people who label some sexual activity or porn degrading are the kind of people who want sex to be always clean and for dramatic music to play from the heavens every time. A realistic view of sex - that it is sometimes holy and intimate and sometimes physical and earthy and sometimes both at the same time - will go a long way toward clearing the good name of porn.
If you could choose, how would you want to die?
When I was a child, I wanted to spontaneously combust in the mall and turn into a towering pillar of flame and get on the news.
Now, I would just go with dropping in the harness. Wylie Henderson, a resident of Caledonia, MS about 100 years ago, literally dropped in the harness. He died in the field, and the mule dragged him home. That's what I want. I want to die in the middle of reading a poem out loud to a class (preferably Tennyson's "Crossing the Bar") or in the middle of a big party. Many, many years from now.
Then, I want to be buried at Egger Cemetery with Wylie Henderson, and I want this epitaph (by Robert Louis Stevenson:
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie,
Glad did I live, and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.
This be the verse they 'grave for me:
Here she lies where she longed to be,
Home is sailor, home from the sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
Are all of your major parenting decisions mutual between you and Livy's dad, or does one of you have final say if you disagree?
I don't completely know what you mean by major. I'm just gonna give some examples, and you can ask more specifically, if I don't get what you mean.
We discussed parenting and education a lot before she was born and when she was a baby. So we are on the same page there. We do some different parenting things, but when we don't completely agree, we are just honest with Livy about the disagreement and carry on doing what we do in each separate house. I think we have slightly different rules about food, for example. Livy can eat whatever and whenever she wants in my house; she has to ask about eating sweets at his house. It's easier to be different about that kind of thing when you are divorced, I think, because it is so easy for the child to know what the rules are at each house. It would be harder to disagree about how to handle food if we lived together.
We talked about a list of people Livy can spend the night with, without talking to the other parent. We agreed that if she wants to spend the night with someone not on our list, we will talk about it and either parent has veto power.
An interesting disagreement came up recently. I am much more Free Range than my ex, and when Livy told him she could go and get stuff from another aisle at the grocery store or walk to Jenn's neighborhood pond by herself, he was very worried. Though I am not willing to hold off from these things for years, I was willing to wait a while for him to feel safe about her. Worrying about her safety is too big an issue, so I agreed that I would wait until she was 7 to let her do these things. We both wanted him to have peace of mind when she is with me. I told him that I would only give him that year, and he was fine with that. When she asked why she couldn't do those things anymore, I explained that Daddy and I disagreed about them. I told her that he had asked me to wait until she was older, and I agreed to do that because I wanted him to feel safe about her. She accepted that pretty easily.
We often talk on the phone, especially when we are going through some problem with Livy, giving each other advice and support. We try to work as a team, and by and large, I think we succeed pretty well.
Because I am so bossy, I have had to practice not getting all in Livy and her dad's business. Unless an issue is very big and important, I just stay out, even when he parents a little differently than I might. He is loving and involved, and since he is a great father, I just butt out as much as possible.
Once she called me crying because he wouldn't let her do something she really wanted to do. I empathized with her feelings, told her how much I loved her, and told her that since she and Daddy both loved each other so much and were so good at solving problems, I knew they could work this out. Then got off the phone. It was hard, but I do want them to have their own relationship without me in it.
If you meant legally, we have joint custody.
3/27/10
Victory for the Motherland
Played my first non-battle box game last night against Etna's Vassal, the man who bears some responsibility for my return to wargaming in general and Warmachine in particular. I was concerned going in on two fronts: first because it was my first game with infantry, and second because he was playing Skorne and I had never faced a Hordes army before. It turns out I didn't need to be concerned as I won handily, losing only a Juggernaut and a Manhuntress. Army lists were as follows.
The Valiant Armies of Khador
PSorscha
Juggernaut
Destroyer
Widowmakers
Greylord Ternion
Winter Guard Mortar
Manhuntress
Man O War Kovnik
Kodiak (marshaled by the Kovnik)
The Scurrilous Armies of Skorne
Archdomina Makeda
Titan Gladiator
Cyclops Savage
Cyclops Brute
Praetorian Swordsmen
Cataphract Centrati
Paingivers
Agonizer
That's my best guess at his list going by what I remember and the PP Skorne gallery page. I was initially dismayed at the amount of infantry EV was fielding. Infantry was, as noted, a big concern of mine going in and I was worried about being swamped. It turns out that I did end up swamped by infantry and it wasn't such a bad thing, though that owes as much to EV's poor dice rolling (consecutive rolls: 3, 2, 2, 2 on 2d6) as it does to solid Khadoran armor plating. In the end I think the game turned on a couple events. One, his Titan came up a couple inches short of charging my Destroyer, which led to my Greylords freezing it in place and the Destroyer following up with liberal amounts of axe to mouth. Second was the aforementioned poor dice rolling, where 5 charging swordsmen left the Kovnik standing with 1 unmarked box, and another 4 swordsmen scratching the paint a little on my Kodiak.
EV surrendered after the death of two of his three warbeasts with his warlock exposed, staring down the barrel of Sorscha's feat and an angry Destroyer fingering it's axe and eyeing the locks mouth. I learned a lot about how fury works and I think I have a firm grasp on the mechanics of it now. He had a lot of models still in the game and I was less convinced he was screwed than he was, but we were under something akin to time restraints and he was in store for some serious axe to mouth action, so it probably would have worked out as he expected anyway.
I was very pleased with the Kovnik/Kodiak pairing. It was my first time using either one and they worked together as well as I had hoped they would. The Kovnik's Drive ability seems tailored to the Kodiak's method of assualt, allowing me to boost the initial attacks and also the throw attack with his 'jack marshal bonus. Unfortunately I couldn't manage a 7 on 3 dice to land the throw, but it was glorious when it worked in my mind. I was underwhelmed by the Widowmakers, though they played a big role in taking down the Titan. I was downright disappointed in the mortar, which has been highly touted all across the interwebs but failed to do anything at all to any target it happened to hit.
Though it wasn't as complete a victory as I would have liked, a win is a win. I'm 1-0 for the Motherland, so no visits from the Butcher just yet. I may try out Vlad in my next game as I've only used Sorscha to this point and I want to get a feel for what other casters are like. I may also swap out the mortar, though I'm not sure what I'd do with the points just yet.
On the painting front things are not progressing as quickly as I had hoped. School has interposed itself between myself and my hobbies once again, so painting time has been scarce. I've been enjoying OwlandMoonGuy's blog over at bolterandchainsword.com, especially how he tracks his painting progress. Since I haven't gotten a camera together for pictures yet, text will have to do. In rough order of priority, the status of my projects is thus:
Sorscha - 65% done
Manhunter - 75%
Destroyer - 45%
Juggernaut - 20%
Widowmakers - 5%
Ternions - based and primed
Mortar - 10%
Winter Guard Infantry - primed, needs basing
When I got the bulk of my Khadorans from EV he had already painted a Kodiak, Devastator and Vlad, so those are finished. I also picked up a wardog yesterday and am fixated on painting it up like a friend's English Bulldog, so that will probably shoot to the top of the priority list once I get it assembled and based. As of now it sits in the blister though.
Post #2 complete, one more than I'd realistically thought I'd get done. Hopefully next time I'll have pictures up and running.
The Valiant Armies of Khador
PSorscha
Juggernaut
Destroyer
Widowmakers
Greylord Ternion
Winter Guard Mortar
Manhuntress
Man O War Kovnik
Kodiak (marshaled by the Kovnik)
The Scurrilous Armies of Skorne
Archdomina Makeda
Titan Gladiator
Cyclops Savage
Cyclops Brute
Praetorian Swordsmen
Cataphract Centrati
Paingivers
Agonizer
That's my best guess at his list going by what I remember and the PP Skorne gallery page. I was initially dismayed at the amount of infantry EV was fielding. Infantry was, as noted, a big concern of mine going in and I was worried about being swamped. It turns out that I did end up swamped by infantry and it wasn't such a bad thing, though that owes as much to EV's poor dice rolling (consecutive rolls: 3, 2, 2, 2 on 2d6) as it does to solid Khadoran armor plating. In the end I think the game turned on a couple events. One, his Titan came up a couple inches short of charging my Destroyer, which led to my Greylords freezing it in place and the Destroyer following up with liberal amounts of axe to mouth. Second was the aforementioned poor dice rolling, where 5 charging swordsmen left the Kovnik standing with 1 unmarked box, and another 4 swordsmen scratching the paint a little on my Kodiak.
EV surrendered after the death of two of his three warbeasts with his warlock exposed, staring down the barrel of Sorscha's feat and an angry Destroyer fingering it's axe and eyeing the locks mouth. I learned a lot about how fury works and I think I have a firm grasp on the mechanics of it now. He had a lot of models still in the game and I was less convinced he was screwed than he was, but we were under something akin to time restraints and he was in store for some serious axe to mouth action, so it probably would have worked out as he expected anyway.
I was very pleased with the Kovnik/Kodiak pairing. It was my first time using either one and they worked together as well as I had hoped they would. The Kovnik's Drive ability seems tailored to the Kodiak's method of assualt, allowing me to boost the initial attacks and also the throw attack with his 'jack marshal bonus. Unfortunately I couldn't manage a 7 on 3 dice to land the throw, but it was glorious when it worked in my mind. I was underwhelmed by the Widowmakers, though they played a big role in taking down the Titan. I was downright disappointed in the mortar, which has been highly touted all across the interwebs but failed to do anything at all to any target it happened to hit.
Though it wasn't as complete a victory as I would have liked, a win is a win. I'm 1-0 for the Motherland, so no visits from the Butcher just yet. I may try out Vlad in my next game as I've only used Sorscha to this point and I want to get a feel for what other casters are like. I may also swap out the mortar, though I'm not sure what I'd do with the points just yet.
On the painting front things are not progressing as quickly as I had hoped. School has interposed itself between myself and my hobbies once again, so painting time has been scarce. I've been enjoying OwlandMoonGuy's blog over at bolterandchainsword.com, especially how he tracks his painting progress. Since I haven't gotten a camera together for pictures yet, text will have to do. In rough order of priority, the status of my projects is thus:
Sorscha - 65% done
Manhunter - 75%
Destroyer - 45%
Juggernaut - 20%
Widowmakers - 5%
Ternions - based and primed
Mortar - 10%
Winter Guard Infantry - primed, needs basing
When I got the bulk of my Khadorans from EV he had already painted a Kodiak, Devastator and Vlad, so those are finished. I also picked up a wardog yesterday and am fixated on painting it up like a friend's English Bulldog, so that will probably shoot to the top of the priority list once I get it assembled and based. As of now it sits in the blister though.
Post #2 complete, one more than I'd realistically thought I'd get done. Hopefully next time I'll have pictures up and running.
3/26/10
My Paleo Health Challenge
Ok, so let's pretend we are in a little booth separated by a screen, and I am going to tell you all my dirty paleo sins. I haven't just lusted after cupcakes in my heart, either. My impure thoughts have often turned into cupcake orgies. What I want is for you to just tell me to say 5 "Hail, Mark Sissons" and 5 "Our Groks" and then I will be fit and healthy and lean by magic.
But as you may know, I'm not into all that sinning and forgiveness and stuff. The health of our bodies doesn't work like that, any more than the health of our spirits does. Eating well and making exercise a part of my life won't happen by magic, and though I have improved some by hard work, I haven't come as far as I would like to.
So, I am having a paleo health challenge for myself. I am hoping that choosing some goals, forming a small support group, having some accountability through blogging, and setting a motivating assessment and reevaluation deadline will help me get more serious.
Priest and food gurus aside, I do want to do some confessing. I want to list my weaknesses, partly to help me identify and learn to overcome them, partly to help other who may share them.
Here are my major problems:
1) I eat out too much. Even when I eat fairly well at restaurants, I know I am eating way less than optimal food cooked in way less that optimal ways.
2) I still eat sweets and grains too frequently. I am not terrible, but I really do need to eat way less of these.
3) I eat too many of the less detrimental carbs for losing weight (potatoes, sugary veggies, etc). 4) I sometimes still eat when I am not hungry.
5) I have been fairly sedentary for a while, not lifting weights and not doing very many active activities (like hiking or playing).
So, with those in mind, my goals are these:
1) I will make an effort to cook at home more often, especially at lunch, which is my eating out downfall. I will try to make eating at home fun like a restaurant by setting the table and reading my book, just as if I were out. I will take my time over meals, as I do at restaurants.
2) I will stop eating grains and sweets. Not only are they bad for me, but they aren't ever even as good as I think they will be. I will have to come up with a coping strategy for Mexican restaurants, which are my favorite and where I just love the chips.
3) I will rarely cook with potatoes at home, and I will limit onions.
4) Before I eat, I will stop, drink a little water, and think about if I am hungry. I will stop halfway through every meal, drink a little water, and think about whether or not I am full. I can always save anything I haven't eaten for another meal.
5) I will do the Body by Science workout once a week, and I will be more active just for fun, especially on the weekends. Downloading some audio books will make it easier to follow through with the hiking.
I have found some health buddies from the OEvolve list, and I hope that some extra support will help me. My plan is to report at the end of the day about what I did well, what my challenges were, what I ate, if I was active, and what kind of help I need. I am also hoping to have some texting buddies from that same group who can talk me down from throwing myself headlong off a bridge into a vat of M&Ms.
I've decided to set a deadline, not for being skinny or for being perfect, but for reassessment. We have an Objectivist Mini-Con here in Atlanta planned for the 4th of July weekend. Since I want to look good and be feeling tons of pride about my changes at that conference, I am setting it as my deadline. I am not setting an amount of weight to lose or anything like that. That is not my focus, though it would be rockin good. I want to be at the Mini-Con, thinking back over the last 3 months, feeling great about the progress I have made.
I will be periodically blogging about my progress. Partly, I think the accountability will help me. Partly, I just think everyone on earth needs to know all my business.
But as you may know, I'm not into all that sinning and forgiveness and stuff. The health of our bodies doesn't work like that, any more than the health of our spirits does. Eating well and making exercise a part of my life won't happen by magic, and though I have improved some by hard work, I haven't come as far as I would like to.
So, I am having a paleo health challenge for myself. I am hoping that choosing some goals, forming a small support group, having some accountability through blogging, and setting a motivating assessment and reevaluation deadline will help me get more serious.
Priest and food gurus aside, I do want to do some confessing. I want to list my weaknesses, partly to help me identify and learn to overcome them, partly to help other who may share them.
Here are my major problems:
1) I eat out too much. Even when I eat fairly well at restaurants, I know I am eating way less than optimal food cooked in way less that optimal ways.
2) I still eat sweets and grains too frequently. I am not terrible, but I really do need to eat way less of these.
3) I eat too many of the less detrimental carbs for losing weight (potatoes, sugary veggies, etc). 4) I sometimes still eat when I am not hungry.
5) I have been fairly sedentary for a while, not lifting weights and not doing very many active activities (like hiking or playing).
So, with those in mind, my goals are these:
1) I will make an effort to cook at home more often, especially at lunch, which is my eating out downfall. I will try to make eating at home fun like a restaurant by setting the table and reading my book, just as if I were out. I will take my time over meals, as I do at restaurants.
2) I will stop eating grains and sweets. Not only are they bad for me, but they aren't ever even as good as I think they will be. I will have to come up with a coping strategy for Mexican restaurants, which are my favorite and where I just love the chips.
3) I will rarely cook with potatoes at home, and I will limit onions.
4) Before I eat, I will stop, drink a little water, and think about if I am hungry. I will stop halfway through every meal, drink a little water, and think about whether or not I am full. I can always save anything I haven't eaten for another meal.
5) I will do the Body by Science workout once a week, and I will be more active just for fun, especially on the weekends. Downloading some audio books will make it easier to follow through with the hiking.
I have found some health buddies from the OEvolve list, and I hope that some extra support will help me. My plan is to report at the end of the day about what I did well, what my challenges were, what I ate, if I was active, and what kind of help I need. I am also hoping to have some texting buddies from that same group who can talk me down from throwing myself headlong off a bridge into a vat of M&Ms.
I've decided to set a deadline, not for being skinny or for being perfect, but for reassessment. We have an Objectivist Mini-Con here in Atlanta planned for the 4th of July weekend. Since I want to look good and be feeling tons of pride about my changes at that conference, I am setting it as my deadline. I am not setting an amount of weight to lose or anything like that. That is not my focus, though it would be rockin good. I want to be at the Mini-Con, thinking back over the last 3 months, feeling great about the progress I have made.
I will be periodically blogging about my progress. Partly, I think the accountability will help me. Partly, I just think everyone on earth needs to know all my business.
3/25/10
Objectivist Round Up - March 25, 2010
Welcome to the March 25, 2010 edition of objectivist round up.
I wanted to hearten people up a little bit after a very hard week, so I went hunting for an Ayn Rand quote that might make Objectivists feel good about the work they did and inspire them to keep fighting and keep living out their values. Here's what I found (from The Virtue of Selfishness):
"The virtue of Pride can best be described by the term: “moral ambitiousness.” It means that one must earn the right to hold oneself as one’s own highest value by achieving one’s own moral perfection—which one achieves by never accepting any code of irrational virtues impossible to practice and by never failing to practice the virtues one knows to be rational—by never accepting an unearned guilt and never earning any, or, if one has earned it, never leaving it uncorrected—by never resigning oneself passively to any flaws in one’s character—by never placing any concern, wish, fear or mood of the moment above the reality of one’s own self-esteem. And, above all, it means one’s rejection of the role of a sacrificial animal, the rejection of any doctrine that preaches self-immolation as a moral virtue or duty."
And now, the carnival:
Jared Rhoads presents All talk, no debate posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "Enough with the bickering over budgetary minutiae; House Democrats and Republicans need to oppose this bill on fundamental principles."
Rachel Miner presents Tool: Capturing the Precious Times posted at The Playful Spirit, saying, "I share some tools which have added much joy for me by helping me capture the precious moments of parenting. There are so many experiences that are both easy to forget and worthy of remembering."
Joseph Kellard presents Did Students Heed My Career Advice? posted at The American Individualist, saying, ""My deeper purpose in telling students all of this was to get them to take my experiences as a guide for how to start thinking about their own potential careers and career choices.""
James Hughes presents The Nature of Consciousness Vs. Religious concepts posted at We Don't Need God, saying, "This is an article contrasting the nature of consciousness with religious concepts like god and the soul."
C.W. presents "Eliminating Reserve Requirements" posted at Krazy Economy, saying, "There are plenty of krazy ideas running around to worry about, but this isn't one of them. You might have seen this concern posted. It just indicates that the poster has no idea what he is talking about."
Ron Pisaturo presents The Limitless Unreason of the Left posted at Ron Pisaturo's Blog, saying, "This is my first submission to the Objectivist Roundup."
Sandi Trixx presents Health Care Reform as Slavery (or Government as Our Master) posted at Sandi Trixx, saying, "I propose that the health care reform bill is a violation of the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution."
Mike Zemack presents A Monument to Power-Lust posted at Principled Perspectives, saying, "For a lead on the real motives driving Obama and company on their healthcare agenda, some valuable incite can be gained by reading (or re-reading) Ayn Rand's essay THE MONUMENT BUILDERS from her book, The Virtue of Selfishness."
Ron Pisaturo presents They rob our dollars until we need their dimes. posted at Ron Pisaturo's Blog.
Julia Campbell presents Fish and Chips posted at the crankin' kitchen!, saying, "A yummy new version of an old classic!"
Diana Hsieh presents The Immediate Effects of ObamaCare posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Now that ObamaCare passed, it's time to pause to refuel... and then get back into the fight!"
Atul Kapur presents Does Katie Really Know Where Taiwan is? posted at Wit Lab, saying, "In this post, I explain that memorization of countries' locations on a map does not actually add to a child's geographical knowledge; but is, in fact, a harmful epistemological practice."
Paul Hsieh presents Hsieh PJM OpEd: "ObamaCare: The Coming Battles" posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "We may have lost the first round in the health care battle. But if we follow these principles,the final victory can still be ours."
Trey Givens presents A List of People who Have Called Me Fat posted at Trey Givens, saying, "Well, I think the title of this post speaks for itself. My only question now is whether this counts as a pre-existing condition to Obama."
Benjamin Skipper presents Obamacare Passed: Now What? posted at Benpercent, saying, "While many are understandably dismayed at the passing of Obamacare I cannot help but see it as just one big opportunity for activism. With such a significant number of voters opposed to the legislation can it be expected for America to acquiesce and idly accept its "fate"? Answers for such actions will be sought."
That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of objectivist round up using our carnival submission form.
Share
Technorati tags: objectivist round up, blog carnival.
I wanted to hearten people up a little bit after a very hard week, so I went hunting for an Ayn Rand quote that might make Objectivists feel good about the work they did and inspire them to keep fighting and keep living out their values. Here's what I found (from The Virtue of Selfishness):
"The virtue of Pride can best be described by the term: “moral ambitiousness.” It means that one must earn the right to hold oneself as one’s own highest value by achieving one’s own moral perfection—which one achieves by never accepting any code of irrational virtues impossible to practice and by never failing to practice the virtues one knows to be rational—by never accepting an unearned guilt and never earning any, or, if one has earned it, never leaving it uncorrected—by never resigning oneself passively to any flaws in one’s character—by never placing any concern, wish, fear or mood of the moment above the reality of one’s own self-esteem. And, above all, it means one’s rejection of the role of a sacrificial animal, the rejection of any doctrine that preaches self-immolation as a moral virtue or duty."
And now, the carnival:
Jared Rhoads presents All talk, no debate posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "Enough with the bickering over budgetary minutiae; House Democrats and Republicans need to oppose this bill on fundamental principles."
Rachel Miner presents Tool: Capturing the Precious Times posted at The Playful Spirit, saying, "I share some tools which have added much joy for me by helping me capture the precious moments of parenting. There are so many experiences that are both easy to forget and worthy of remembering."
Joseph Kellard presents Did Students Heed My Career Advice? posted at The American Individualist, saying, ""My deeper purpose in telling students all of this was to get them to take my experiences as a guide for how to start thinking about their own potential careers and career choices.""
James Hughes presents The Nature of Consciousness Vs. Religious concepts posted at We Don't Need God, saying, "This is an article contrasting the nature of consciousness with religious concepts like god and the soul."
C.W. presents "Eliminating Reserve Requirements" posted at Krazy Economy, saying, "There are plenty of krazy ideas running around to worry about, but this isn't one of them. You might have seen this concern posted. It just indicates that the poster has no idea what he is talking about."
Ron Pisaturo presents The Limitless Unreason of the Left posted at Ron Pisaturo's Blog, saying, "This is my first submission to the Objectivist Roundup."
Sandi Trixx presents Health Care Reform as Slavery (or Government as Our Master) posted at Sandi Trixx, saying, "I propose that the health care reform bill is a violation of the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution."
Mike Zemack presents A Monument to Power-Lust posted at Principled Perspectives, saying, "For a lead on the real motives driving Obama and company on their healthcare agenda, some valuable incite can be gained by reading (or re-reading) Ayn Rand's essay THE MONUMENT BUILDERS from her book, The Virtue of Selfishness."
Ron Pisaturo presents They rob our dollars until we need their dimes. posted at Ron Pisaturo's Blog.
Benjamin Skipper presents An Urge to Sacrifice? posted at Musing Aloud, saying, "A question stemming from my personal life: Why do some people insist on continuing to offer assistance despite the fact it's unnecessary and I'm unappreciative of such efforts?"
Julia Campbell presents Fish and Chips posted at the crankin' kitchen!, saying, "A yummy new version of an old classic!"
Diana Hsieh presents The Immediate Effects of ObamaCare posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Now that ObamaCare passed, it's time to pause to refuel... and then get back into the fight!"
Atul Kapur presents Does Katie Really Know Where Taiwan is? posted at Wit Lab, saying, "In this post, I explain that memorization of countries' locations on a map does not actually add to a child's geographical knowledge; but is, in fact, a harmful epistemological practice."
Kelly Elmore presents Book Review: Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life posted at Reepicheep's Coracle, saying, "In this book review, I explain how, despite the similarities of our educational ideas, I have some serious disagreements with Rue Cream's ideas about unschooling."
Paul Hsieh presents Hsieh PJM OpEd: "ObamaCare: The Coming Battles" posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "We may have lost the first round in the health care battle. But if we follow these principles,the final victory can still be ours."
Trey Givens presents A List of People who Have Called Me Fat posted at Trey Givens, saying, "Well, I think the title of this post speaks for itself. My only question now is whether this counts as a pre-existing condition to Obama."
Benjamin Skipper presents Obamacare Passed: Now What? posted at Benpercent, saying, "While many are understandably dismayed at the passing of Obamacare I cannot help but see it as just one big opportunity for activism. With such a significant number of voters opposed to the legislation can it be expected for America to acquiesce and idly accept its "fate"? Answers for such actions will be sought."
Rational Jenn presents Now THAT'S What I Call a Food Allergy-Friendly Company posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "Amazing! A company that provides really great food allergy information that is NOT coerced by the government! Why in the world would they do such a crazy thing?"
That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of objectivist round up using our carnival submission form.
Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Share
3/24/10
Book Review: Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life
I love to read books about unschooling (what I like to call life-learning), especially the ones that describe the daily lives of unschoolers. I like to know what other people are doing, get new ideas, and feel re-inspired about our lifestyle. I recently read Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life by Rue Cream. Even though our thoughts on education are similar in some ways, I really hated parts of this book, and I wanted to write a review. I hope that the review will serve to illuminate further the way I choose to interact with my child.
The book is organized into questions and answers. I like the format because many of the questions are ones that we get all the time. It's interesting to me to see someone else's answers. Even when some of them irritate me to death.
I thought I would post some quotes and then tell you why I didn't like them.
"To unschool is to be available to find a map, read a book, time a swimming race, bake a cake, or play a game at a moment's notice."
Dude, are you your child's servant? I like to spend time with my child (I can't imagine homeschooling would be a good choice for someone who didn't), but I have other things I want to do as well. Housework, writing, reading, French, a nap, etc. I will usually be glad to help with things, but the child might have to wait until I am finished with what I am doing. Sometimes I might be in the mood to jump right up and play a game; sometimes not. That's life, kid. Better to learn it now. Your fun, your learning, and your life are your own responsibility. I will help, but I am not your programmable mom-bot.
"In any situation where a child has to ask me for help in order to do something, I feel it is my responsibility to happily give that help."
Mom-bot alert again. Not only do I not feel I have to do everything that they cannot do themselves, I certainly don't feel I have to be happy about it. There are some things that are essential. I would never refuse to nurse a tiny, hungry baby or help a child who is throwing up or respond to a real emotional crisis. However, most of the things children want are not essential. Just because you cannot read yet does not mean that I should drop whatever I am doing to read whatever you want me to whenever you want me to. However, asked nicely, I will almost always come to a stopping place in what I am doing and read whatever you need.
"Dagny and Rowan have their own money and equal access to any money the family has. We asked them how much money they needed each month, and that's what they get. . . . They are not required to spend it on certain things; if they want to save it all they're free to spend money from the family budget instead if it's available."
I think this is patently ridiculous. Livy receives an allowance with no strings attached, but we decided together how much it should be. She didn't just get to say. And having equal control over the family's money? If you are mature enough to control a household's money, I think you should get a job and start controlling your own. The reason I financially support Livy fully is because she can't do it herself. When she can, she will have to. I don't have any problem with a child participating in financial decisions; in fact, I support it. What better way to learn how it works? But when it comes down to a final decision, my partner and I make it. For us, unschooling is about the child being the boss of his own life, not the boss of ours.
"We do not make Rowan and Dagny go to the doctor. They choose to go to the doctor when they don't feel well and want help to feel better, just as I do."
On the surface, I agree with this. Most doctor visits would be optional for Livy. If you would rather suffer through a sinus infection instead of going to the doctor, that is fine by me. Unless you are waking up all night long and waking me up with you. Then it is "our" problem, and I would have some input on whether you go to the doctor. But, what would Rue Cream do if a child had a serious injury? I handled situations at the gym where a child has broken a bone and must go to the hospital but begs and begs not to go. They aren't behaving rationally; they are scared and immature. I believe that in situations where serious bodily injury or death or mental health or the rights of others are at stake, a parent must insist on a rational course of action, no matter how much the child may not like it. I have prevented a screaming toddler from running into the street, forced Livy into a car seat, and I would certainly make a child go to the ER with a broken leg. None of these are good situations, and I would try my best to help the child feel better about them, but in the end, I will not let you permanently damage the only body you get before you are old enough to protect it yourself. I owe it to the adult Livy to see that her leg gets healed.
There are also many things I liked in the book, so I'll share some of those, too.
"If even one person in the family is feeling over scheduled, you can all work together to come up with a solution that gives everyone what s/he needs and wants."
I like that one because so often kids are the focus of the family, and mom and dad run themselves ragged trying to meet the child's needs. It is so much healthier for everyone to work out a plan together that meets everyone's needs as much as possible. Example: Livy is an introvert, and I am an extrovert. We are constantly problem solving to find ways for me to get out and about and among people enough and for her to get plenty of downtime. Today, I wanted to go to the zoo. She wanted to stay home all day. We compromised by staying home some and by going on a less dramatic outing (a long walk to lunch and the town square playground) so that I could get out of the house.
While addressing questions about homeschoolers and socialization, Rue Cream writes, "Am I worried about socialization? Yes, but not for my own children." She goes on to talk about the "culture of conformity" in schools. I agree with her. Age segregation and the intensified peer focus of children who interact primarily with their peers are some of the worst aspects of school. I want Livy to know that age is just a number and that friendships should be based on common values. So far, she can enjoy toddlers, preschoolers, kids her own age, and older kids (she generally doesn't have much interest in adults, yet), and I want her to keep her openness to people of different ages. I want her to see people in all different stages of life, and I hope that will give her some perspective when faced with pressure to conform to the standards of her friends.
There were a million other things she said that I agreed with, mostly because she believes children should decide for themselves what to do with their time. The theme over and over throughout the book is "When you feel that you must force your child to do something, reevaluate." Unlike Rue Cream, I do force some things (life, limb, mental health, and the rights of others), but I think it is excellent to think carefully about how often we force our children to do things. It is incredibly rare in our house, and we manage to live happily, mostly peacefully, and not fall into chaos.
While I agreed with her basic premise (freedom for children), I thought that the way it is carried out in her house gives a wrong impression of what unschooling should be. It isn't a family where the desires of the child dictate what the family does. It is a family where the desires of each member of the family dictate what that particular member does. I'm not the boss of Livy (except in rare circumstances), but that doesn't make her the boss of me either.
The book is organized into questions and answers. I like the format because many of the questions are ones that we get all the time. It's interesting to me to see someone else's answers. Even when some of them irritate me to death.
I thought I would post some quotes and then tell you why I didn't like them.
"To unschool is to be available to find a map, read a book, time a swimming race, bake a cake, or play a game at a moment's notice."
Dude, are you your child's servant? I like to spend time with my child (I can't imagine homeschooling would be a good choice for someone who didn't), but I have other things I want to do as well. Housework, writing, reading, French, a nap, etc. I will usually be glad to help with things, but the child might have to wait until I am finished with what I am doing. Sometimes I might be in the mood to jump right up and play a game; sometimes not. That's life, kid. Better to learn it now. Your fun, your learning, and your life are your own responsibility. I will help, but I am not your programmable mom-bot.
"In any situation where a child has to ask me for help in order to do something, I feel it is my responsibility to happily give that help."
Mom-bot alert again. Not only do I not feel I have to do everything that they cannot do themselves, I certainly don't feel I have to be happy about it. There are some things that are essential. I would never refuse to nurse a tiny, hungry baby or help a child who is throwing up or respond to a real emotional crisis. However, most of the things children want are not essential. Just because you cannot read yet does not mean that I should drop whatever I am doing to read whatever you want me to whenever you want me to. However, asked nicely, I will almost always come to a stopping place in what I am doing and read whatever you need.
"Dagny and Rowan have their own money and equal access to any money the family has. We asked them how much money they needed each month, and that's what they get. . . . They are not required to spend it on certain things; if they want to save it all they're free to spend money from the family budget instead if it's available."
I think this is patently ridiculous. Livy receives an allowance with no strings attached, but we decided together how much it should be. She didn't just get to say. And having equal control over the family's money? If you are mature enough to control a household's money, I think you should get a job and start controlling your own. The reason I financially support Livy fully is because she can't do it herself. When she can, she will have to. I don't have any problem with a child participating in financial decisions; in fact, I support it. What better way to learn how it works? But when it comes down to a final decision, my partner and I make it. For us, unschooling is about the child being the boss of his own life, not the boss of ours.
"We do not make Rowan and Dagny go to the doctor. They choose to go to the doctor when they don't feel well and want help to feel better, just as I do."
On the surface, I agree with this. Most doctor visits would be optional for Livy. If you would rather suffer through a sinus infection instead of going to the doctor, that is fine by me. Unless you are waking up all night long and waking me up with you. Then it is "our" problem, and I would have some input on whether you go to the doctor. But, what would Rue Cream do if a child had a serious injury? I handled situations at the gym where a child has broken a bone and must go to the hospital but begs and begs not to go. They aren't behaving rationally; they are scared and immature. I believe that in situations where serious bodily injury or death or mental health or the rights of others are at stake, a parent must insist on a rational course of action, no matter how much the child may not like it. I have prevented a screaming toddler from running into the street, forced Livy into a car seat, and I would certainly make a child go to the ER with a broken leg. None of these are good situations, and I would try my best to help the child feel better about them, but in the end, I will not let you permanently damage the only body you get before you are old enough to protect it yourself. I owe it to the adult Livy to see that her leg gets healed.
There are also many things I liked in the book, so I'll share some of those, too.
"If even one person in the family is feeling over scheduled, you can all work together to come up with a solution that gives everyone what s/he needs and wants."
I like that one because so often kids are the focus of the family, and mom and dad run themselves ragged trying to meet the child's needs. It is so much healthier for everyone to work out a plan together that meets everyone's needs as much as possible. Example: Livy is an introvert, and I am an extrovert. We are constantly problem solving to find ways for me to get out and about and among people enough and for her to get plenty of downtime. Today, I wanted to go to the zoo. She wanted to stay home all day. We compromised by staying home some and by going on a less dramatic outing (a long walk to lunch and the town square playground) so that I could get out of the house.
While addressing questions about homeschoolers and socialization, Rue Cream writes, "Am I worried about socialization? Yes, but not for my own children." She goes on to talk about the "culture of conformity" in schools. I agree with her. Age segregation and the intensified peer focus of children who interact primarily with their peers are some of the worst aspects of school. I want Livy to know that age is just a number and that friendships should be based on common values. So far, she can enjoy toddlers, preschoolers, kids her own age, and older kids (she generally doesn't have much interest in adults, yet), and I want her to keep her openness to people of different ages. I want her to see people in all different stages of life, and I hope that will give her some perspective when faced with pressure to conform to the standards of her friends.
There were a million other things she said that I agreed with, mostly because she believes children should decide for themselves what to do with their time. The theme over and over throughout the book is "When you feel that you must force your child to do something, reevaluate." Unlike Rue Cream, I do force some things (life, limb, mental health, and the rights of others), but I think it is excellent to think carefully about how often we force our children to do things. It is incredibly rare in our house, and we manage to live happily, mostly peacefully, and not fall into chaos.
While I agreed with her basic premise (freedom for children), I thought that the way it is carried out in her house gives a wrong impression of what unschooling should be. It isn't a family where the desires of the child dictate what the family does. It is a family where the desires of each member of the family dictate what that particular member does. I'm not the boss of Livy (except in rare circumstances), but that doesn't make her the boss of me either.
3/22/10
My Paleo Kid
There has been some talk on OEvolve about how to help kids transition to a paleo diet with their parents, and the suggestions have been really helpful. But, I thought it might be useful to hear about how paleo works when you do it from the beginning, or at least how it worked for us. As a disclaimer, we are not 100%. We eat tons of things in our family that are not good for us, but we try to minimize those things and we know what things are bad when we eat them. :)
Livy (who is six) started her paleo journey in the womb. While I was pregnant with Livy, I ate meat, veggies, raw dairy including loads of butter, bone broths, some raw liver in smoothies, and cod liver and butter oil. I also ate some crap, but I did pretty well over all. Livy was breastfed for the first 3 years and several months of her life, and she was exclusively breastfed for about 10 months. While nursing her, I kept up that same kind of fatty and nutrient-dense diet.
I waited until Livy was actually interested in solid foods (in eating them, not just playing) before offering her any. At about 10 months, she started to try to get things off of our plates, so I would give her a big chunk of steak or a large carrot to chew - basically, real food, but nothing chokeable. She would suck every bit of juice out of the steak until it was grey. Steak has been her favorite food for all 6 years of her life. She didn't really ingest much solid food until she was over a year old and finally had some teeth. At that time, I would chew up things on my plate and then give them to her to eat or cut food up into tiny pieces. We did delayed the big allergens, but most of them aren't healthy foods anyways. She never had baby food, and she ate (and still eats) a wide variety of foods. She loves egg drop soup, any Thai food, beef and pork, chicken wings, grape tomatoes, salad (as long as it is covered in balsamic vinegar), salmon, and anything heated up in a bowl of homemade stock. But, as she has gotten older, she also likes pizza, cake, candy, soda, and innumerable other kinds of junk. I did not give her unhealthy foods when she was too little to want them; no need to give ice cream to babies before they actually want it. :) We did not give her cereals. It's just awful how little babies start their lives out with crappy grains, when they could be eating meat and broth.
Our policies about food are these:
1. Eat whatever you want whenever you want. I usually do not buy crap and bring it home, so her choices are pretty good. Sometimes I do buy things like popsicles and marshmallows, but not very often. She goes to the fridge, gets snacks or meals, heats them up, and eats when she is hungry. I like that this policy keeps her in touch with her body's needs and gives her independence. If I feel that she is eating too much junk, I look to myself first. Am I buying too much junk? Am I not preparing healthy foods that she likes? Usually, if I clean up my shopping or cook more, the problem is solved. Once I had to mention to her that I noticed she was eating a lot of sugar, and we talked about ways to cut down and still be satisfied. She was willing to work with me.
2. I don't prevent her from enjoying cake at parties, having chocolate milk at a restaurant, or eating candy on Halloween. She eats a healthy diet most of the time, and the rest of the time I try not to worry. She is usually very good about self-monitoring (much better that I am) and rarely overeats candy or cake. I want her to enjoy herself and not feel resentful about our diet.
3. We eat out a pretty good amount, so I guide her into making better choices when we are out. If she really, really wants macaroni and cheese, I let her have it, but I try to explain why steak or chicken wings or a cup of soup would be a better choice. She almost always chooses meat or soup because this is what she is used to.
4. We do not do "kids' food." I hate children's menus, and I hate the idea that kids will only eat pizza, mac and cheese, and hamburgers. Livy has always eaten adult food, and we rarely order off the children's menu. Instead we find smaller portions of regular food, like soups, appetizers, and small portions of meats. I do not cook more than one thing. If you don't like what I cook, find something else in the fridge for yourself. I do not leave out spices (though I am sensitive to her palate, just as I am to Aaron's). My idea is that Livy is a human person, and she can eat like one from the beginning of solid foods. Often, she and I split an entree, and that way, she tries many different delicious foods.
5. Exercise is optional. I do not force her to join a sport or anything like that. But, I try to make exercise fun. We have a trampoline; we go to the park; we ride bikes or scooters. She chooses to play soccer. I think, as in the case of diet, modeling is the best way for kids to make good choices. She sees me and her dad (particularly her dad) being active, so it seems like the way people should be. She can do pistol squats on either leg (for you Crossfitters), so I guess she is doing okay!
6. I do not encourage a small child to fast (obvious, I hope), but I don't make a big deal out of missing or delaying a meal. I see so many parents encouraging, bribing, forcing, or guilting kids to eat at regular meal times. I think this is silly. They aren't stupid; when they get hungry, they will eat. Today, Livy chose to skip lunch. No big. The human race has faced times when kids missed more than one lunch, and we all survived.
7. I teach about nutrition more than I legislate. Those of you who know me and my parenting are probably not surprised that I do not force Livy to eat or not eat according to my wishes. Instead, I have been teaching her about healthy eating since she was a baby, and I encourage her to eat well by my example, by my use of my money for healthy stuff instead of crap, and by putting the work into making things that she likes that I like for her to eat. I am not willing to make food a battle (partly because I don't want her to rebel and eat 2 tons of candy later and partly because food battling leads to the kind of disordered relationship with food that I have struggled with my whole life).
Now that I have rambled on and on about my principles, let me give you some specifics about what Livy eats. These are the foods she eats most often (some of these are obviously used by me in the preparation) and the supplements she takes: beef, chicken, pork, turkey, bacon, sausage, shrimp, and fish (all kinds of cuts and all kinds of preparation), stock (bone broths made from all kinds of animals), chili, meat stews, meaty soups, oranges, berries, apples, raw milk, butter, lard, coconut oil, bacon grease, olive oil and balsamic vinegar for salad dressing, salad greens, tomatoes, broccoli, onions, potatoes, eggs, cod liver oil, vitamin D, and a multivitamin. I even went to the kitchen to see what else might be added to this list and couldn't find much. Sometimes she eats Campbell's Soup (cause she loves it), and sometimes she eats popsicles, but I think that is about it. She will eat ANYTHING that we grow in our own garden or get from our beloved farmer.
For breakfast (when she chooses to eat it), she usually has leftovers from the night before. Lunch is more of grazing kind of meal - milk, fruit, lunch meats, etc - unless I cook. For cooked lunch or for dinner, I make meat and a veggie or a stew. When we eat out, she eats pretty much the same kinds of things (meat, veggies, soups), but I know (and she knows) that the fats and broth and meat are not the healthy farm and homemade kind. We like to eat ethnic food, and sometimes we can find restaurants (Thai especially) that use healthy ingredients.
I'll be happy to discuss any of the above with folks who want to ask questions, make comments, or criticize to kingdom come. :) Pictures follow.
Fat, healthy, breastfed baby
Livy, Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and fan of chicken wings
Livy eating turkey leg
Inevitable build of paleo child :)
Livy's actual body type - long and lean and muscular. Amazing how wrong all the people were who told me that breastfeeding, meat, fat, etc would make her fat. Just so everyone knows, I don't think this is the only natural body type, just hers. I suspect she inherited it from her dad.
Livy (who is six) started her paleo journey in the womb. While I was pregnant with Livy, I ate meat, veggies, raw dairy including loads of butter, bone broths, some raw liver in smoothies, and cod liver and butter oil. I also ate some crap, but I did pretty well over all. Livy was breastfed for the first 3 years and several months of her life, and she was exclusively breastfed for about 10 months. While nursing her, I kept up that same kind of fatty and nutrient-dense diet.
I waited until Livy was actually interested in solid foods (in eating them, not just playing) before offering her any. At about 10 months, she started to try to get things off of our plates, so I would give her a big chunk of steak or a large carrot to chew - basically, real food, but nothing chokeable. She would suck every bit of juice out of the steak until it was grey. Steak has been her favorite food for all 6 years of her life. She didn't really ingest much solid food until she was over a year old and finally had some teeth. At that time, I would chew up things on my plate and then give them to her to eat or cut food up into tiny pieces. We did delayed the big allergens, but most of them aren't healthy foods anyways. She never had baby food, and she ate (and still eats) a wide variety of foods. She loves egg drop soup, any Thai food, beef and pork, chicken wings, grape tomatoes, salad (as long as it is covered in balsamic vinegar), salmon, and anything heated up in a bowl of homemade stock. But, as she has gotten older, she also likes pizza, cake, candy, soda, and innumerable other kinds of junk. I did not give her unhealthy foods when she was too little to want them; no need to give ice cream to babies before they actually want it. :) We did not give her cereals. It's just awful how little babies start their lives out with crappy grains, when they could be eating meat and broth.
Our policies about food are these:
1. Eat whatever you want whenever you want. I usually do not buy crap and bring it home, so her choices are pretty good. Sometimes I do buy things like popsicles and marshmallows, but not very often. She goes to the fridge, gets snacks or meals, heats them up, and eats when she is hungry. I like that this policy keeps her in touch with her body's needs and gives her independence. If I feel that she is eating too much junk, I look to myself first. Am I buying too much junk? Am I not preparing healthy foods that she likes? Usually, if I clean up my shopping or cook more, the problem is solved. Once I had to mention to her that I noticed she was eating a lot of sugar, and we talked about ways to cut down and still be satisfied. She was willing to work with me.
2. I don't prevent her from enjoying cake at parties, having chocolate milk at a restaurant, or eating candy on Halloween. She eats a healthy diet most of the time, and the rest of the time I try not to worry. She is usually very good about self-monitoring (much better that I am) and rarely overeats candy or cake. I want her to enjoy herself and not feel resentful about our diet.
3. We eat out a pretty good amount, so I guide her into making better choices when we are out. If she really, really wants macaroni and cheese, I let her have it, but I try to explain why steak or chicken wings or a cup of soup would be a better choice. She almost always chooses meat or soup because this is what she is used to.
4. We do not do "kids' food." I hate children's menus, and I hate the idea that kids will only eat pizza, mac and cheese, and hamburgers. Livy has always eaten adult food, and we rarely order off the children's menu. Instead we find smaller portions of regular food, like soups, appetizers, and small portions of meats. I do not cook more than one thing. If you don't like what I cook, find something else in the fridge for yourself. I do not leave out spices (though I am sensitive to her palate, just as I am to Aaron's). My idea is that Livy is a human person, and she can eat like one from the beginning of solid foods. Often, she and I split an entree, and that way, she tries many different delicious foods.
5. Exercise is optional. I do not force her to join a sport or anything like that. But, I try to make exercise fun. We have a trampoline; we go to the park; we ride bikes or scooters. She chooses to play soccer. I think, as in the case of diet, modeling is the best way for kids to make good choices. She sees me and her dad (particularly her dad) being active, so it seems like the way people should be. She can do pistol squats on either leg (for you Crossfitters), so I guess she is doing okay!
6. I do not encourage a small child to fast (obvious, I hope), but I don't make a big deal out of missing or delaying a meal. I see so many parents encouraging, bribing, forcing, or guilting kids to eat at regular meal times. I think this is silly. They aren't stupid; when they get hungry, they will eat. Today, Livy chose to skip lunch. No big. The human race has faced times when kids missed more than one lunch, and we all survived.
7. I teach about nutrition more than I legislate. Those of you who know me and my parenting are probably not surprised that I do not force Livy to eat or not eat according to my wishes. Instead, I have been teaching her about healthy eating since she was a baby, and I encourage her to eat well by my example, by my use of my money for healthy stuff instead of crap, and by putting the work into making things that she likes that I like for her to eat. I am not willing to make food a battle (partly because I don't want her to rebel and eat 2 tons of candy later and partly because food battling leads to the kind of disordered relationship with food that I have struggled with my whole life).
Now that I have rambled on and on about my principles, let me give you some specifics about what Livy eats. These are the foods she eats most often (some of these are obviously used by me in the preparation) and the supplements she takes: beef, chicken, pork, turkey, bacon, sausage, shrimp, and fish (all kinds of cuts and all kinds of preparation), stock (bone broths made from all kinds of animals), chili, meat stews, meaty soups, oranges, berries, apples, raw milk, butter, lard, coconut oil, bacon grease, olive oil and balsamic vinegar for salad dressing, salad greens, tomatoes, broccoli, onions, potatoes, eggs, cod liver oil, vitamin D, and a multivitamin. I even went to the kitchen to see what else might be added to this list and couldn't find much. Sometimes she eats Campbell's Soup (cause she loves it), and sometimes she eats popsicles, but I think that is about it. She will eat ANYTHING that we grow in our own garden or get from our beloved farmer.
For breakfast (when she chooses to eat it), she usually has leftovers from the night before. Lunch is more of grazing kind of meal - milk, fruit, lunch meats, etc - unless I cook. For cooked lunch or for dinner, I make meat and a veggie or a stew. When we eat out, she eats pretty much the same kinds of things (meat, veggies, soups), but I know (and she knows) that the fats and broth and meat are not the healthy farm and homemade kind. We like to eat ethnic food, and sometimes we can find restaurants (Thai especially) that use healthy ingredients.
I'll be happy to discuss any of the above with folks who want to ask questions, make comments, or criticize to kingdom come. :) Pictures follow.
Fat, healthy, breastfed baby
Livy, Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and fan of chicken wings
Livy eating turkey leg
Inevitable build of paleo child :)
Livy's actual body type - long and lean and muscular. Amazing how wrong all the people were who told me that breastfeeding, meat, fat, etc would make her fat. Just so everyone knows, I don't think this is the only natural body type, just hers. I suspect she inherited it from her dad.
3/21/10
Never seem to get far enough/ Staying in between the lines
That line sums up pretty well why I need to go away. Sometimes I feel like a cud-chewing cow, stuck in the same old field, domesticated, tamed. Then, I get in my car, and I go. This time I took Aaron with me. The song that my title came from is "Windfall" by Son Volt. It's my theme song for this latest adventure. Here are the lyrics and a video of the song.
Now and then it keeps you running
It never seems to die
The trail's spent with fear
Not enough living on the outside
Never seem to get far enough
Staying in between the lines
Hold on to what you can
Waiting for the end
Not knowing when
May the wind take your troubles away
May the wind take your troubles away
Both feet on the floor, two hands on the wheel,
May the wind take your troubles away
Trying to make it far enough, to the next time zone
Few and far between past the midnight hour
Never feel alone, you're really not alone...
Switching it over to AM
Searching for a truer sound
Can't recall the call letters
Steel guitar and settle down
Catching an all-night station somewhere in Louisiana
It sounds like 1963, but for now it sounds like heaven
May the wind take your troubles away
May the wind take your troubles away
Both feet on the floor, two hands on the wheel,
May the wind take your troubles away
It's hard to sum up an adventure with a description of what you did because it's more about how you felt. Here's our adventure in poetry (quoth Anne). I felt free, happy, windblown, and wild. I felt like all the world stretched out in front of me, and I could reach it all by driving north on GA 9. I wasn't a mom, wasn't a student, wasn't a teacher, wasn't anyone's wife or daughter or friend. I was a world traveler bound for unknown lands. The clock ran backwards, and I was 17. I was all spring on the inside.
Here's the story in prose: Aaron and I put the top down on the Jeep, packed a suitcase, and headed north on the small roads for Greenville. It was warm and sunny, and Aaron was sunburned before we were out of Atlanta. :) The back roads were full of interesting things to look at -- farms, junk stores, houses, and Forsythia everywhere, all bloomed out yellow. We stopped in Clemson at the Botanical Gardens, where we walked for an hour or so. It was covered over with Daffodils ("a host of golden daffodils . . . tossing their heads in sprightly dance") and Camellias (I am capitalizing the important things like some people capitalize god).
We got to Greenville after dark and went straight to Reedy River Park downtown. We walked among the crowds on the upper paths, crossed the suspended, cantilevered bridge, and saw people spelling out Google with glow sticks. Then we walked down to the lower paths where it is dark and deserted. We sat on a swing and then on a bench and looked out over the waterfall and the rocks. We felt the warm night air on our arms, really for the first time this year. The bridge was lighted up all blue.
We spent the night on the north side of Greenville so that we could visit Cowpens Battlefield Park in the morning. It was a cloudy, rainy looking day, so when we got to the battlefield, we went hiking right away. After about a mile and a half, it started to rain, so we went back to the car and got lunch nearby. After lunch, we drove the loop around the battlefield to look at where General Morgan routed that prissy friend of the Prince of Wales, Tarleton. The battle was a neat-o strategic plan, so I suggest you look it up. Seriously, I am no Revolutionary War buff, but it was cool. Apparently, if Tarleton hadn't lost so badly here, Cornwallis might never have surrendered at Yorktown. We also visited a little (but really well done) museum about the battle.
We drove home through Athens to see what the University of Georgia looks like. Nothing impressive, I am afraid. Just a lot of mismatched buildings. If you want to see a pretty campus, I suggest Berry or Sewanee. Aaron suggests Stanford.
I have two major complaints about South Carolina, since I know you are all very interested in my rants and opinions. First, if you name a gas station after the Sphinx and have a picture of said Sphinx on your gas pumps, you should spell Sphinx correctly. All through SC, there are gas stations called "Spinx." A part of me died every time I saw one. Second, why do people in South Carolina plant so many Bradford pear trees? They look like Lego trees, all shaped perfectly, as if they never had a moment's free growth in the free air in their whole sad tree lives. They look so domesticated, so pitiful, like a tiger at the zoo pacing up and down his cage for the rest of his sad Lego life. There's nothing wild or spontaneous or rebellious about those preppy, Gap-shopping, conformist trees. I wish lightening would strike every one and knock their branches all askew. Bradford pears have no business being in my adventures.
Now we are home, and I feel that I can put the mantle of mom, student, teacher, daughter, wife, friend, and responsible creature back on, having stretched my back a little and felt the wind. I have reassured myself once again that I will never be a cud-chewing cow or a Bradford pear tree.
Now and then it keeps you running
It never seems to die
The trail's spent with fear
Not enough living on the outside
Never seem to get far enough
Staying in between the lines
Hold on to what you can
Waiting for the end
Not knowing when
May the wind take your troubles away
May the wind take your troubles away
Both feet on the floor, two hands on the wheel,
May the wind take your troubles away
Trying to make it far enough, to the next time zone
Few and far between past the midnight hour
Never feel alone, you're really not alone...
Switching it over to AM
Searching for a truer sound
Can't recall the call letters
Steel guitar and settle down
Catching an all-night station somewhere in Louisiana
It sounds like 1963, but for now it sounds like heaven
May the wind take your troubles away
May the wind take your troubles away
Both feet on the floor, two hands on the wheel,
May the wind take your troubles away
It's hard to sum up an adventure with a description of what you did because it's more about how you felt. Here's our adventure in poetry (quoth Anne). I felt free, happy, windblown, and wild. I felt like all the world stretched out in front of me, and I could reach it all by driving north on GA 9. I wasn't a mom, wasn't a student, wasn't a teacher, wasn't anyone's wife or daughter or friend. I was a world traveler bound for unknown lands. The clock ran backwards, and I was 17. I was all spring on the inside.
Here's the story in prose: Aaron and I put the top down on the Jeep, packed a suitcase, and headed north on the small roads for Greenville. It was warm and sunny, and Aaron was sunburned before we were out of Atlanta. :) The back roads were full of interesting things to look at -- farms, junk stores, houses, and Forsythia everywhere, all bloomed out yellow. We stopped in Clemson at the Botanical Gardens, where we walked for an hour or so. It was covered over with Daffodils ("a host of golden daffodils . . . tossing their heads in sprightly dance") and Camellias (I am capitalizing the important things like some people capitalize god).
We got to Greenville after dark and went straight to Reedy River Park downtown. We walked among the crowds on the upper paths, crossed the suspended, cantilevered bridge, and saw people spelling out Google with glow sticks. Then we walked down to the lower paths where it is dark and deserted. We sat on a swing and then on a bench and looked out over the waterfall and the rocks. We felt the warm night air on our arms, really for the first time this year. The bridge was lighted up all blue.
We spent the night on the north side of Greenville so that we could visit Cowpens Battlefield Park in the morning. It was a cloudy, rainy looking day, so when we got to the battlefield, we went hiking right away. After about a mile and a half, it started to rain, so we went back to the car and got lunch nearby. After lunch, we drove the loop around the battlefield to look at where General Morgan routed that prissy friend of the Prince of Wales, Tarleton. The battle was a neat-o strategic plan, so I suggest you look it up. Seriously, I am no Revolutionary War buff, but it was cool. Apparently, if Tarleton hadn't lost so badly here, Cornwallis might never have surrendered at Yorktown. We also visited a little (but really well done) museum about the battle.
We drove home through Athens to see what the University of Georgia looks like. Nothing impressive, I am afraid. Just a lot of mismatched buildings. If you want to see a pretty campus, I suggest Berry or Sewanee. Aaron suggests Stanford.
I have two major complaints about South Carolina, since I know you are all very interested in my rants and opinions. First, if you name a gas station after the Sphinx and have a picture of said Sphinx on your gas pumps, you should spell Sphinx correctly. All through SC, there are gas stations called "Spinx." A part of me died every time I saw one. Second, why do people in South Carolina plant so many Bradford pear trees? They look like Lego trees, all shaped perfectly, as if they never had a moment's free growth in the free air in their whole sad tree lives. They look so domesticated, so pitiful, like a tiger at the zoo pacing up and down his cage for the rest of his sad Lego life. There's nothing wild or spontaneous or rebellious about those preppy, Gap-shopping, conformist trees. I wish lightening would strike every one and knock their branches all askew. Bradford pears have no business being in my adventures.
Now we are home, and I feel that I can put the mantle of mom, student, teacher, daughter, wife, friend, and responsible creature back on, having stretched my back a little and felt the wind. I have reassured myself once again that I will never be a cud-chewing cow or a Bradford pear tree.
It begins again
Since I've taken up wargaming again, why not add blogging to it? I plan to blog here about my gaming and painting exploits. With some luck I'll actually do it too. Full intro post to come, while painting stuff will have to wait 'til I take some pictures.
3/16/10
Potato Planting Day
Today, we finally had a nice sunny day with no rain, so we got the potatoes planted. I ordered seed potatoes of the following varieties: Red Gold, Yukon Gold, Red Norland, and Yellow Finn. My plan is to harvest as we go along and have lots of new potatoes, and if we get a large harvest, I'll leave some in the ground all the way through the season to store for the winter. I have only grown potatoes once before, and it didn't go well, so I am not exactly sure how many I will get.
I cut up the seed potatoes two nights ago, making sure each piece had at least one eye. I ended up with more than I needed, so next time, I will leave more eyes on each piece and have fewer pieces. I left the potatoes out for the two nights because I read that it can prevent rot if you let the cuts callous over before planting. More sophisticated gardeners sprinkle sulfur on the potatoes to prevent rot, but I can't be bothered with that. They can rot if they please.
I planted the potatoes in the containers that you can see here. Yes, my neighbors will think I am running a garbage can farm, rather than a potato farm. The bag that you see is a left over bag of peat moss. Livy emptied out half of the peat, and we planted potatoes there too. If you also want to plant in your random containers, make sure you cut a whole or two in the bottom for drainage.
Below you can see that I put only about 5 or 6 inches of soil in the containers. As the potato plants grow upward, I will add more dirt to encourage the plants to make more lateral roots and more potatoes. I read that I should add more dirt whenever the plant reaches 4-6 inches high. I saw a great way to make this kind of bed, starting with one tire and adding more tires and more dirt as the plant grows. If I see any abandoned tires, I will be grabbing them for next year.
The next picture is of the tiny lettuce seedling that have popped up in one of my containers. The first seeds of the spring are always a delight. 
Below are pictures of our science experiments we are doing about plants. The first one is celery in colored water, illustrating how stems pull water up from the roots to the leaves. The second is one of my seed potatoes half in water so that we can see what is happening to our potatoes under the soil. 
Spring really is here. I can tell because suddenly the yard needs mowing (but I won't for a while because it is full of sweet smelling purple blossomed weeds), daffodils are out in force, and my lilac bush has tiny leaves on it. My next tasks are to cut back the old dead growth on my fountain grass
and to plant some new flowers and summer blooming bulbs.
and to plant some new flowers and summer blooming bulbs.
3/14/10
Parenting Toolbox: Family Meetings
I just came back from an awesome Positive Discipline certification class (so I can eventually teach parents how to use these tools I love so well) that I took with Jenn. I'm certified! I learned a problem solving model that parents in my classes can use to help each other find new solutions to behavior problems. I learned how to use experiential activities and role playing to give parents a new perspective on the problem. But along with how to teach, I also learned something new about positive discipline that I wanted to take home and use with my family.
I had read about family meetings before, but I never seriously thought about doing them. Basically, a family meeting is a time when the whole family sits down together, gives some compliments and thank yous, discusses and problem solves any issue that the family has been having, looks at the calendar for the coming week, and then does some fun activity together. I never even thought about this for us because of our unusual family situation.
Livy and I are together 24/3.5, meaning she spends half of her week with me, but during that part of the week we are hardly ever apart. We solve problems as they come up, and since it is just the two of us most of the time, it's pretty easy to come to solutions we can both live with. Throw in Aaron, who is with us more or less depending on the part of the week Livy is with me (our schedule changes by the semester). So, when Livy is with me during the week, Aaron is hardly home when she is because he works such long hours. When Livy is with me over the weekend, Aaron, Livy, and I are together most of the time.
To add more complications, Aaron is my partner and Livy is my child, but their relationship with each other is out of the normal way. He is not her step-dad, and he isn't in a parental role. He's a grown-up that she likes who lives with us and is important to mom.
So, I thought, family meetings sound like a great tool for mom, dad, 2.5 kids, and a dog to attend. During the workshop, I completely turned my view on this around. Jenn pointed out to me, and I can't believe I didn't see this earlier, that in some ways they have a sibling relationship. They want to come to me about problems with each other. These problems are few and far between, mostly I think because both of them are so insanely easy to live with, but they don't talk to each other about them. Examples: "Mom, can you make sure no one eats the last brownie? I want to eat it tomorrow." "Kelly, where should we put Livy's new computer that I just finished?" Neither of these problems is hard to solve, but they both talk to me alone about it.
Though I don't want to push their relationship, I don't want to prevent its normal development either. They live in the house together, and they should be able to talk and solve problems together without me in the middle. So, I think the family meeting is a perfect idea. I like it when the three of us are together; there is something wonderful about having all your most beloved people together around a table. Here's my ideas about how each element of the family meeting will benefit us:
The compliments and thank yous: This will be a good experience for Livy and for me, in particular. Aaron is very appreciative, but she and I could use some work. It will be excellent practice for the two of us to think throughout the week about what we really like about our family members and what we want to thank them for. It will also be a chance for Livy to see me thanking Aaron for what he makes possible for Livy and I to have together (all that time and leisure).
The problem solving bit: This will be good practice for the two of them to work together on problems that involve them both. They can talk to each other, not just to me, about where the computer should go. I also like the idea of Livy seeing Aaron and I modeling good problem solving skills. We do them, but rarely in front of her. It will be excellent for her to see us figure out how to deal with my irritation about not putting a new trash bag in when you take the old one out. This is a nothing problem to us, but she needs to learn how these kinds of domestic issues are resolved. Finally, I think she needs to be more involved in our household decisions. It's good practice for real life to help mom and Aaron decide on how to spend money and how to handle household chores.
The calendar part: It will be great for Aaron and Livy to know more about what the other one is doing. I sort of manage everyone's calendar (not his work one). Livy isn't always aware that Aaron is going to do a board game day on Saturday, and he doesn't always know the neat things we have planned during the week while he is at work. I think knowing what the other one is doing will be a nice bonding thing, and I will feel less burdened by sharing all the calendar and planning stuff that I keep up with.
The fun activity part: We really do love to play games together, and this will be a good chance to do it. Maybe a card game or a board game. They both really like strategy games, which aren't my thing, but after the warm fuzzies of having them in a family meeting with me, I am sure I will be willing to play Settlers of Catan until their hearts are content. They also like it when I read aloud to all of us, and maybe this would be a good time to choose a book for the three of us (a family meeting problem we could work on together?) and read it only after the family meetings.
I'm going to talk to both of them about doing this, set up our first meeting, and I'll report back and let you know how it went.
I had read about family meetings before, but I never seriously thought about doing them. Basically, a family meeting is a time when the whole family sits down together, gives some compliments and thank yous, discusses and problem solves any issue that the family has been having, looks at the calendar for the coming week, and then does some fun activity together. I never even thought about this for us because of our unusual family situation.
Livy and I are together 24/3.5, meaning she spends half of her week with me, but during that part of the week we are hardly ever apart. We solve problems as they come up, and since it is just the two of us most of the time, it's pretty easy to come to solutions we can both live with. Throw in Aaron, who is with us more or less depending on the part of the week Livy is with me (our schedule changes by the semester). So, when Livy is with me during the week, Aaron is hardly home when she is because he works such long hours. When Livy is with me over the weekend, Aaron, Livy, and I are together most of the time.
To add more complications, Aaron is my partner and Livy is my child, but their relationship with each other is out of the normal way. He is not her step-dad, and he isn't in a parental role. He's a grown-up that she likes who lives with us and is important to mom.
So, I thought, family meetings sound like a great tool for mom, dad, 2.5 kids, and a dog to attend. During the workshop, I completely turned my view on this around. Jenn pointed out to me, and I can't believe I didn't see this earlier, that in some ways they have a sibling relationship. They want to come to me about problems with each other. These problems are few and far between, mostly I think because both of them are so insanely easy to live with, but they don't talk to each other about them. Examples: "Mom, can you make sure no one eats the last brownie? I want to eat it tomorrow." "Kelly, where should we put Livy's new computer that I just finished?" Neither of these problems is hard to solve, but they both talk to me alone about it.
Though I don't want to push their relationship, I don't want to prevent its normal development either. They live in the house together, and they should be able to talk and solve problems together without me in the middle. So, I think the family meeting is a perfect idea. I like it when the three of us are together; there is something wonderful about having all your most beloved people together around a table. Here's my ideas about how each element of the family meeting will benefit us:
The compliments and thank yous: This will be a good experience for Livy and for me, in particular. Aaron is very appreciative, but she and I could use some work. It will be excellent practice for the two of us to think throughout the week about what we really like about our family members and what we want to thank them for. It will also be a chance for Livy to see me thanking Aaron for what he makes possible for Livy and I to have together (all that time and leisure).
The problem solving bit: This will be good practice for the two of them to work together on problems that involve them both. They can talk to each other, not just to me, about where the computer should go. I also like the idea of Livy seeing Aaron and I modeling good problem solving skills. We do them, but rarely in front of her. It will be excellent for her to see us figure out how to deal with my irritation about not putting a new trash bag in when you take the old one out. This is a nothing problem to us, but she needs to learn how these kinds of domestic issues are resolved. Finally, I think she needs to be more involved in our household decisions. It's good practice for real life to help mom and Aaron decide on how to spend money and how to handle household chores.
The calendar part: It will be great for Aaron and Livy to know more about what the other one is doing. I sort of manage everyone's calendar (not his work one). Livy isn't always aware that Aaron is going to do a board game day on Saturday, and he doesn't always know the neat things we have planned during the week while he is at work. I think knowing what the other one is doing will be a nice bonding thing, and I will feel less burdened by sharing all the calendar and planning stuff that I keep up with.
The fun activity part: We really do love to play games together, and this will be a good chance to do it. Maybe a card game or a board game. They both really like strategy games, which aren't my thing, but after the warm fuzzies of having them in a family meeting with me, I am sure I will be willing to play Settlers of Catan until their hearts are content. They also like it when I read aloud to all of us, and maybe this would be a good time to choose a book for the three of us (a family meeting problem we could work on together?) and read it only after the family meetings.
I'm going to talk to both of them about doing this, set up our first meeting, and I'll report back and let you know how it went.
3/8/10
First Gardening Day of the Spring
Today, we had a gorgeous 75 degrees and sunny kind of day. I put the top down on the Jeep, and Livy and I went to Walmart to get some gardening supplies for the spring. We bought 5 bags of potting soil (I'll show what we did with them below) and 3 bags of composted manure.
Once home, I laid down cardboard and shopping bags on the ground to kill the grass where I want my new veggie bed to be. I put the bags of potting soil on top of the cardboard (after cutting drainage slits on the bottom) and cut the top off of the bag. In this new container, we planted our onion sets (Red candy and Candy varieties). My plan is that by the end of the growing season, I will just take out the plastic, use some old boards to make the sides of the bed, and add any soil need to fill the area. Voila, new raised bed with improved soil from where the cardboard and shopping bags composted in.
The onions that I planted are intermediate day onions, selected to match my region. This is the first year I have grown onions, and apparently, the variety you choose has to do with the amount of light, not the temperature. Still based on latitude, but a little bit different. I bought the onion sets, instead of seeds, because I want to make my first onion experience as easy and successful as possible.
Next, Livy and I cleaned last years plants out of our self-watering containers and mixed in compost to get the soil ready for the seeds we will plant tomorrow. I LOVE these containers. The bottom of them has a large reservoir which is filled through the tubes you can see standing up. A plate with lots of holes covers the reservoir, and the soil goes on top of that. In our hot GA summers, without these pots, I have to water veggies more than once a day. With these pots, I can go several days, and the roots just pull water up from the reservoir. The green that you can see in one pot is chives from last year.
These pots will be home to our deck garden. These are the plants I want access to at any moment: grape tomatoes, herbs, lettuce, spinach, arugula, mixed greens, beets, and carrots (the things I harvest nearly every day). The plants that get harvested less regularly (onions, larger tomatoes, potatoes, and bush green beans) will live down in the yard.
Tomorrow, my plan is to get the spring seeds in the pots and to cut up my seed potatoes. I am considering planting the potatoes straight into half-empty cubes of peat moss so that I can mound the dirt as they grow. I haven't figured that out yet. I may have to build a bed for the potatoes. I am also considering straw bales. The seeds that we will plant tomorrow are: Roquette arugula, Bloomsdale spinach, a spring lettuce mix, Red Deer Tongue lettuce, Black Seeded Simpson lettuce, Golden Detroit beets, and Little Fingers carrots.
Once home, I laid down cardboard and shopping bags on the ground to kill the grass where I want my new veggie bed to be. I put the bags of potting soil on top of the cardboard (after cutting drainage slits on the bottom) and cut the top off of the bag. In this new container, we planted our onion sets (Red candy and Candy varieties). My plan is that by the end of the growing season, I will just take out the plastic, use some old boards to make the sides of the bed, and add any soil need to fill the area. Voila, new raised bed with improved soil from where the cardboard and shopping bags composted in.
The onions that I planted are intermediate day onions, selected to match my region. This is the first year I have grown onions, and apparently, the variety you choose has to do with the amount of light, not the temperature. Still based on latitude, but a little bit different. I bought the onion sets, instead of seeds, because I want to make my first onion experience as easy and successful as possible.Next, Livy and I cleaned last years plants out of our self-watering containers and mixed in compost to get the soil ready for the seeds we will plant tomorrow. I LOVE these containers. The bottom of them has a large reservoir which is filled through the tubes you can see standing up. A plate with lots of holes covers the reservoir, and the soil goes on top of that. In our hot GA summers, without these pots, I have to water veggies more than once a day. With these pots, I can go several days, and the roots just pull water up from the reservoir. The green that you can see in one pot is chives from last year.
These pots will be home to our deck garden. These are the plants I want access to at any moment: grape tomatoes, herbs, lettuce, spinach, arugula, mixed greens, beets, and carrots (the things I harvest nearly every day). The plants that get harvested less regularly (onions, larger tomatoes, potatoes, and bush green beans) will live down in the yard.Tomorrow, my plan is to get the spring seeds in the pots and to cut up my seed potatoes. I am considering planting the potatoes straight into half-empty cubes of peat moss so that I can mound the dirt as they grow. I haven't figured that out yet. I may have to build a bed for the potatoes. I am also considering straw bales. The seeds that we will plant tomorrow are: Roquette arugula, Bloomsdale spinach, a spring lettuce mix, Red Deer Tongue lettuce, Black Seeded Simpson lettuce, Golden Detroit beets, and Little Fingers carrots.
3/6/10
Three Good Things for this Weekend
1. Shea Levy, Alyssa Smudzin, and Miranda Barzey are just as super cool in person as online. I've had yucky experiences before when I connected with someone through email, and then found that when we met, there was no personal chemistry. I am so happy that, in this case, real life met online life without an awful matter/anti-matter annihillation.
2. My rereading of E.M. Forster has really begun. Howards End was the beginning, but it's not really a binge until you go to the second book. I started A Room with a View today. Ah, Mr. Emerson, who "is not tactful; yet, have you ever noticed that there are people who do things which are most indelicate, and yet at the same time -- beautiful?"
3. The seeds, seed potatoes, and onion sets that I am planting for my spring garden arrived in the mail today. Monday, I will prepare my container garden on the deck (for lettuce, spinach, arugula, herbs, and grape tomatoes -- the things I harvest daily) and my in-the-yard garden (for my regular tomatoes, onions, potatoes, green beans, and peppers). Now it really feels like spring. Some of thse things won't get planted until it's warmer, but the spinach, arugula, lettuce, onions, and peppers can go in the soil on Monday!
2. My rereading of E.M. Forster has really begun. Howards End was the beginning, but it's not really a binge until you go to the second book. I started A Room with a View today. Ah, Mr. Emerson, who "is not tactful; yet, have you ever noticed that there are people who do things which are most indelicate, and yet at the same time -- beautiful?"
3. The seeds, seed potatoes, and onion sets that I am planting for my spring garden arrived in the mail today. Monday, I will prepare my container garden on the deck (for lettuce, spinach, arugula, herbs, and grape tomatoes -- the things I harvest daily) and my in-the-yard garden (for my regular tomatoes, onions, potatoes, green beans, and peppers). Now it really feels like spring. Some of thse things won't get planted until it's warmer, but the spinach, arugula, lettuce, onions, and peppers can go in the soil on Monday!
3/4/10
Numerology and Love
There are 7 hills in Rome, 7 wonders of the Ancient World, 7 liberal arts, 7 days to create the world, 7 deadly sins, 7 dwarf rings, 7 books in the Harry Potter series, and 7 brides for 7 brothers, so I think there should be 7 reasons why Aaron (my partner) is the greatest.
1. Aaron is the most interesting person I know. He is constantly reading, learning, thinking, and discussing his new findings with me. Time with him is never boring; we could talk about things endlessly until the sun went supernova if only we wouldn't age.
2. Aaron is not only dedicated to his goals, but to mine as well. He is supporting me while I am in school and homeschooling Livy, not because English and Livy are his values, but because they are mine. He's like my own personal D'Medici, giving me the time to work on my own masterpieces.
3. Aaron is so freaking amazing in bed. I won't give you an example, cause TMI, but Oh. My. Lord.
4. Aaron is really rational. He thinks things through and won't stop until he has figured out a problem. Discussing an issue with him is like having a clarity-bot that will not only call bullshit on you but will hold your hand while doing it.
5. Aaron is always up for an adventure. He isn't the spontaneous one in our relationship, but whenever I propose some new scheme, he is on board. He doesn't let himself get stale.
6. Aaron is super chill, and no matter how hard I may try in my worst moments, I just can't rile him up all that much. He likes my intensity, empathizes with my emotions, but doesn't get all worked up with me. His aura is like an emotional Swedish massage.
7. Aaron is the perfect match for me, personality wise. I like to talk; he likes extroverts who like to talk and finds them entertaining to listen to. I remind him to smell the roses; he reminds me to get my oil changed. He keeps me on track with his orderly ways; I make him go off track and have adventures. We are both better and happier together.
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