I have found myself in the strange position of talking with a new friend about her birth choices (which are far different from mine). She does not want a homebirth at all, and I accept that. Hear me, people? Cause it just isn't my business. I was discussing hospital options with her, talking about doulas, passing on info about interventions. The strange part is that I found myself kind of advocating for an epidural. I know the risks; I wouldn't want one myself (though I had one, blast it); and I think not having one is a great choice. But, when a woman is afraid, when she is going to have a fairly tradition hospital birth with all the lying down, fetal monitoring, etc, and when she isn't committed to natural birth, I think an epidural might be the most compassionate choice.
Oh God, I might have just given myself a heart attack.
But, I guess I am writing this post to defend myself to myself. A true advocate for women does not dictate to them. She educates, listens, and advocates for the choices the woman herself makes. Informed consent and patient choice should be the core of our birth culture. And as my friend Jenn pointed out, that is what the women's rights movement should be about - giving women the freedom to make their own choices.
So, though I myself might choose to give birth with a trusted midwife (somewhere nearby but not hovering) in a fishy pool in the living room and bury my placenta in the garden with a daffodil bulb, I support the right of my friend to make her own decisions and to give birth in a hospital with all the interventions she feels are necessary. And if people think that is strange, all I can say is GIRL POWER!!!
And just for fun, a very tame birth picture with my beloved fishy pool.
