1/28/10
15 books in 15 minutes
1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
2. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
3. The Anne of Green Gables series by L.M. Montgomery
4. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
5. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
6. Nutrition and Physical Degeneration by Weston Price
7. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
8. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
9. "Ulysses" by Alfred Lord Tennyson
10. "Dover Beach" by Matthew Arnold
11. Lanterns on the Levee by William Alexander Percy
12. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
13. The Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder
14. Objectivism: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand by Leonard Peikoff
15. The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
It's funny that many of the books that shaped me are books I have enjoyed since childhood. I guess that is when most of the shaping is going on.
Let me know what your 15 books are.
1/22/10
Parenting Toolbox: Connection Before Correction
I've been at this non-punitive parenting for a long time, and much of the lecture and the workshop were review, but they were review I needed. It's easy, at least for me, to get complacent, to stop being creative, to stop being playful, and to respond to problems with the same old response, no matter how well it is working. So, for full disclosure, let me tell you guys that I have been engaging in some power struggles. I want her to do something, she doesn't want to, I insist, she screeches, we fight, she cries, I feel terrible. This has been happening too often. So, I went into the lecture and workshop with this problem in mind. Here's what I came out with.
One of Jane's Positive Discipline Parenting Toolcards is "Connection Before Correction." The card reads "Create closeness and trust instead of distance and hostility by making sure the message of love gets through." This is exactly what Livy and I need. I have gotten into the habit of making the behavior the first priority instead of our relationship. And no, brushing your teeth right this second, or getting out of the house on time, or going to bed are not more important to me than my relationship with Livy, no matter what impression I sometimes might give.
Now, lest anyone think I mean the behaviors are not important, let me clarify. Teeth need to be brushed sometimes. I need to get places on time. And I need to get to bed at a reasonable time. But, if I can connect with Livy FIRST, before working on solutions, I really do think the two of us can find a way to meet both of our needs.
So here is my plan, which I intend to run by Livy when she returns from her dad's house to see if she likes it. When I start to feel frustrated by a problem, instead of getting bossy and controlling, I will ask for a hug. If I get to connect that way, I think I will be calmer and able to carry on with problem solving instead of with bossing. If Livy and I are both getting mad and frustrated, I don't think the hug thing will work. So, one of us will call, "UNO!" Then, we will sit down and play one round of UNO, giving us time to calm down, before we try to solve the problem. Both of us are very very very intense, and we have been doing too much problem solving in the heat of the moment, which leads to fighting and yelling and general unhappiness. After our calming time, then we can tackle whatever problem made us so mad.
I know that there will be times when we don't have time for that kind of elaborate calming ritual. Especially when we are trying to get out of the door. So, I am thinking I will keep the toolcards in my backpack. If we are having an issue, it might be fun for Livy to pick a card. Then, the two of us can see if that idea might help us solve it.
I like that part of the plan for three reasons: 1. The picking of the card and reading it will be a good calming time to diffuse any screaming either of us is feeling like doing. 2. It sounds kind of fun, like a game. 3. I think these tools are not parenting tools, as much as they are life skills for social interactions. Therefore, Livy needs them as badly as I do. I want her to learn them now, so that she doesn't have to struggle to communicate respectfully and effectively, as I have had to. We will be working on the problems we encounter day to day, as well as teaching both of us good skills to apply to future problems. And, since both of us are life-learners, that's what we should be doing all the time.
I'll report back and let you guys know what Livy thinks of the plan and how it works for us.
1/18/10
A Comment About Birth Choices
I have found myself in the strange position of talking with a new friend about her birth choices (which are far different from mine). She does not want a homebirth at all, and I accept that. Hear me, people? Cause it just isn't my business. I was discussing hospital options with her, talking about doulas, passing on info about interventions. The strange part is that I found myself kind of advocating for an epidural. I know the risks; I wouldn't want one myself (though I had one, blast it); and I think not having one is a great choice. But, when a woman is afraid, when she is going to have a fairly tradition hospital birth with all the lying down, fetal monitoring, etc, and when she isn't committed to natural birth, I think an epidural might be the most compassionate choice.
Oh God, I might have just given myself a heart attack.
But, I guess I am writing this post to defend myself to myself. A true advocate for women does not dictate to them. She educates, listens, and advocates for the choices the woman herself makes. Informed consent and patient choice should be the core of our birth culture. And as my friend Jenn pointed out, that is what the women's rights movement should be about - giving women the freedom to make their own choices.
So, though I myself might choose to give birth with a trusted midwife (somewhere nearby but not hovering) in a fishy pool in the living room and bury my placenta in the garden with a daffodil bulb, I support the right of my friend to make her own decisions and to give birth in a hospital with all the interventions she feels are necessary. And if people think that is strange, all I can say is GIRL POWER!!!
And just for fun, a very tame birth picture with my beloved fishy pool.
1/11/10
Life Learning: What We Did Today
I met Livy's dad to pick her up at 11:45. Usually, we get up about 10:30 or so, so this was not too much of a late start for us. We went to Borders to buy some books that we had talked about, and we ordered hot chocolate and tea to drink while we read them. Livy read a few out loud to me (yes, she is reading, hip, hip, hooray!).
Next we headed for the grocery store. On the way, we listened to music (Fleetwood Mac and The Dixie Chicks), and Livy did some phonics pages in a book she likes to keep in the car.
In the store, she got a kid cart (which she freakin loves - why can't all groceries have them?) and we picked up the few items we needed. She unloaded the cart and stared down a lady who told her she needed a coat.
We drove home, put away the groceries, and cooked lunch (and put supper in the crockpot). She loves to help cook, so she put the spices on the flank steak, dumped veggies and spices into the crockpot, and helped me pour stock into freezer containers. While I browned pork stew meat, she played the piano. She started a piano class last week, and though she still mostly picks out notes that sound good to her, she has shown much more interest in the piano.
While we ate lunch, we browsed through a book on the seven wonders of the ancient world. I didn't read it out loud cause my mouth was full of flank steak, but we chatted about the pictures and decided to read it later.
After lunch, she helped me unload and reload the dishwasher. She played a 3D maze game on the computer while I finished the cleanup and started the crockpot.
She really loves to ride the bus, so even though the library is within a walk, we decided to take the bus there. We walked about a half mile to the bus stop, and she read out loud to me while we waited for the bus to come. She continued to read to me on the way to the library. Once we got there, we both browsed for things we'd like to read (in the children's section). I read a few out loud while we were there:
2 Arthur books - that's my limit cause I hate those books
Llama, Llama, Red Pajama - a true delight, we read it twice
a book about gardens
a children's version of Chaucer's Nun's Priest's Tale - The Chanticleer one
an African myth about why ostriches' necks are so long
We checked out several more to read at home.
We decided to walk home from the library, and she climbed all over every wall, tree, and curb between the library and our house. It was nice to be out, especially since we have been trapped inside by the ice and cold for nearly the whole weekend.
When we got home, she started playing on her computer (mostly Blue's Art Show, a game where you make all kinds of art with the characters of Blue's Clues). I played on the internet a while, read some (Guns, Germs, and Steel), and worked on my French. When the stew was ready, she ate hers a bite at a time between art projects with Blue, and I read while I ate. After I cleaned up, I tried to start a fire, but the wood was all wet. FAIL.
We climbed into bed together, and she fell asleep watching a documentary about Shakers with me. When it was over, I moved her to her bed and watched another on Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony.
That was our day. How fun was that?! I just love being home with Livy, and I love having the leisure to pursue, both with her and alone, all the learning that I desire.
1/9/10
Venus Williams Eleven Denim Mini Skirt
Venus Williams Eleven Denim Mini Skirt. Gold VW logo on back pockets. 99% Cotton 1% Spandex, Size 16 .
Levi's Men's 501 Jean
While much of the negative commentary concerned Levi Strauss's move away from domestic manufacturing has focused on the button-fly 501s, the bigger problem I have seen is with the old 1970's standby, the 505, which has a zipper as opposed to button fly. The variability on sizing and sew quality with the 505s is an issue if you are going to buy them online or mail order. You really have to try them on to see how they fit.
The 501 are much easier to buy online or by mail order because the sizing is much less critical on the waist, which is the so-called "anti-fit" waist, meaning there is no curve to the rise (the distance between the crotch and the top of the waist), because the original 501s were merely cut down bib overalls which were made to hang, rather than be fitted to the waist. The biggest problem I have noted on the 505's is the variability in size in the thigh area, meaning that some fit baggy and some seem rather tight, even though they are theoretically the same size of a label. Since the 501s are more forgiving as far as sizing, if you are buying online you might consider them instead of 505s, unless you don't want the button fly.
1/8/10
Good Things About Being Iced In
- Aaron can't make his super long commute, so he hangs out in bed with me all morning.
- the old Sherlock Holmes episodes with Jeremy Brett
- leftover duck and sauce for breakfast



Hahahahaha, get it? Sauce? A drunk duck? Hahahaha!
1/7/10
Reduction Sauce Success and Other Tidbits of Less Edible Yumminess
So what you see in this skillet is duck, onions, green beans, and a reduction sauce made of duck and turkey stock and butter. Making it was easy too; I used stuff just hanging out in the fridge. First, I put a whole bunch of duck stock and turkey stock into my skillet. I boiled it a long time (while drinking wine and reading Joy Hakim's The First Americans). When there was only a bit left in the skillet, I added green beans. When there was even less stock left, I added leftover duck and onions (I roasted them yesterday) and butter. I waited for it all to heat up and get all mixed in and delicious, and I salted and peppered to taste. Yum-my. (The hyphen lets you hear my Southern accent.) It was so simple, though I guess it takes a bit of work to have homemade duck and turkey stock in the fridge, as well as leftover roasted meat and onions. Not much though.
Anyway, now I am gloating over how good it was, while enjoying my roaring fire with Inuit and Anasazis, anticipating the arrival of some advanced, but kind of nasty Spaniards. I have been doing some of the reading I was hoping to do, worked a bit on my French today, and came up with a science fair project that met with Livy's approval. It was a good day's work.
1/4/10
Kate Hudson The denim Skirt Girl
Although Kate Hudson clearly isn't happy being photographed by the paparazzi, the photo taken below a few days ago (December 18th) has reminded me how versatile & fabulous a great denim skirt can be through summer.I don't have a very big collection denim skirts, maybe just one or two actually, I think it's because when in my teens I did my denim dash, living in surf brand denim skirts constantly. Now days I feel like I'm past the denim skirt stage, that I should be wearing more "grown up" styles.
Today however I'm feeling a bit of fondness for the denim skirt. Reminiscent of those surfy teenage days I've done a quick search for inspiration and there's plenty of stylish outfit ideas with simplicity being the key. I'm thinking I just might go there today with a plain singlet and a pair of thongs.. easy effortless casual summer style.
Beyonce Handbag and Sunglasses During "I AM..." World Tour
The "I AM..." World Tour comes to the US on June 21 and June 22 with a two-night stint at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Later in the summer, Beyonce will headline the Essence Music Festival in New Orleans on July 3. On June 16, a new video and music compilation called "Above and Beyonce Video Collection & Dance Mixes" will be available nationwide exclusively through Wal-Mart, and at J&R Music in New York City.
It contains seven videos, behind-the-scenes footage and eight songs taken from her critically acclaimed third solo CD, "I AM...Sasha Fierce". It also features a chart-topping remix version of "Ego" in both video and song with Kanye West, which can only be found in this collection.
Emporio Armani launched Spring Summer 2008 watch collection
Men’s collection:
The collection is inspired by futuristic design, technological themes and an underlying edginess. The watch designs blend classic styling with a sporty, casual twist.
Oversized stainless steel cases, black enamel top-ring with minute markers, coin-ridged bezel and black leather straps embossed to resemble crocodile skin form the hallmark of the collection.
For the bling lovers there are rose coloured gold watches featuring the simple rose gold hour markers to create a strikingly rich and sophisticated contrast against a black dial.
Also available is the silver dial featuring two black chronograph counters and a red coloured seconds’ hand. To round off, watches for men on the move coated entirely in black ion plating and topped with a silver coloured world time zone bezel representative of the world’s 24 different time zones helps you stay on time anywhere anytime.
Women’s collection:
The women’s collection is elegant, sophisticated and feminine but at the same time delves on perennial classical designs that are smart, mature and glamorous.
Elongated rectangular cases in yellow gold plated stainless steel on a 3-link bracelet with a white mother-of-pearl dial, a sub-second counter and Roman numeral indexes is regularly featured in this collection.
With a distinct personality of its own, the watches are naïvely elegant, fresh, playful yet stands sophisticated in their looks with the stainless steel chain link bracelet, multiple chronograph counters, pearl coloured leather straps and removable crystal pavé charms.
Creme de-la resistance for all those ladies who love glitter and glamour is expressed through these watches with a striking combination of materials.
Large stainless steel cases with four concentric rows of clear Swarovski crystals set against black rubber straps embossed with the Emporio Armani logo is designed to give you the ultimate high.
Also available is the Meccanico range in this collection for the gadget lovers with rose gold featuring prominently. Classically inspired and extremely refined in its simplicity, the meccanico range has richly detailed dials layered with black mother of pearls.
