So, if you read my post about Rasselas, you know that I am contemplating happiness lately. So here is a question I have been thinking about.
I am a generally happy person, and barring one specific time in my life, I always have been. I am wondering if I am happy because I have all the things I need and most of the things I want or if I am happy because I am the kind of person who is pretty content with what I have. Let me explain more.
Here are the circumstances of my life that I think make me happy. My biggest values are all things I have. I love literature, reading, and teaching, and I am working on a grad degree in English. I love smart, passionate, quiet, and rational men, and I get to live with one all the time. I love my daughter, and I get to have her home with me. I have great friends who share my values and make me laugh. I get to live a double life, like a secret agent. 3.5 days of the week, I am a grad student and live a kind of young, childless life full of reading and Joss Whedon. 3.5 days of the week, I get to be a part of a very familyish circle, hanging with my daughter and going to the zoo. I don't have to choose between these two lives, and I think that is very cool. My partner makes 99.5% of the money for our family, so I am able to go to school and be at home with my daughter and have a lot of leisure time to read and do hobbies I like. So basically, of course I am happy because I am living out all my highest values every day.
But, I was also happy at other times in my life when I was working at a job that was less perfect for me, not in stable relationships, and having less time to do as I please. There are plenty of people who could look at my life this way: I am in school and probably will not complete it and get to work in my field for about 10 years. After a divorce, I had to find a way to divide my daughter's time between me and her father, and it is often difficult to work out how to do that and how to resolve any disputes we have about her. During half the week, I scramble to get all my homework and working done, so that I can spend the other half with my daughter. I see very little of my partner during this first half, as he works long hours to support us. During the second half of the week, I have to figure out a way to balance time with Livy and time with Aaron, since I didn't see either of them during the first half of the week. It would be possible for my life to be described that way too, and put like that, it sounds difficult.
So my question: Am I happy because I work through the problems I encounter and find ways to pursue my values? Or am I happy because I have the kind of disposition that makes me feel pretty content with whatever life I am living (within reason) and because I am a "look on the bright side" kind of person?
Just for more background info, I am pretty laid back. I have goals, but they aren't terribly lofty. They are fairly easily achievable with steady work, and they leave plenty of time for other pursuits. When one goal or plan doesn't work out, it's easy for me to let it go and find another that suits me just as well. Am I able to be happy more easily than another might be because I am laid back like this? Is happiness harder for more ambitious, more goal oriented, more planny people? Would a person with a different kind of personality be as happy as I am under similar circumstances?
9/15/09
